Taking my son to first year of college tomorrow...struggling

[A930Rocket]

It’s OK to be emotional when you drop them off. You’ve done everything you could do to bring them up right.

I definitely cried when we dropped our daughter off at school. When I got home, she had left me a letter and I cried again. She went to US C, so she was only two hours away.

When we dropped our son off two years later, it was hard and I remember turning around after we said goodbye, he was walking straight ahead. He was ready to be on his own. He was 12 hours and 800 miles away, so we only saw him a couple times during the school year.

[911boost]

I got divorced in 2011 when my daughter was 8 and son 5. I moved into a house in the same neighborhood and my ex and I are still close, our job was to do the best we could raising two kids.

Fast forward to August of 2021 and we all piled in my LC and drove together to Lawrence to drop our daughter off at KU. It was very emotional for everyone, except her brother of course, he is too tough for that. It is about an 8 hour drive from where we are in CO, so not super far away. There were tears and that is ok.

This year she drove herself back to college, it brought back memories of me leaving VA and heading to IA in my '66 Mustang. Oh how times have changed, I would call my folks 2 days later from IA, whereas now we heard from her often on the drive out.

I hear from and talk to my daughter very often even though she is away, and went our for dads weekend and plan on it again this year.

On a separate note, I almost went to VA Tech as well, congrats to your son!

[craigster59]

My high school graduation gift was a suitcase. What does that tell you?

[beatnavy]

Originally Posted by craigster59

My high school graduation gift was a suitcase. What does that tell you?

My older brother got the same thing. He's in his 60's now and while he jokes about it I think it still pisses him off a bit.

[Crowbob]

One of my roommates said his father gave him and his siblings on there 18th birthdays $1,000 cash and were expected to move out that same day. This was not a surprise to any of them and that was it. No money for college, no nothing except the use of dads trailer, if needed.

Done. Poof. Gone.

I thought it was kinda harsh. My roomate didn’t, though. He was actually a pretty motivated guy. He became an electrical engineer and moved out to near Mt St. Helens just in time for the eruption.

[craigster59]

Originally Posted by beatnavy

My older brother got the same thing. He's in his 60's now and while he jokes about it I think it still pisses him off a bit.

I ended up trading it for a government issue OD green duffel bag...

[beatnavy]

Originally Posted by craigster59

I ended up trading it for a government issue OD green duffel bag...

So did he!

Best of luck today, Beretta!

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Crowbob

One of my roommates said his father gave him and his siblings on there 18th birthdays $1,000 cash and were expected to move out that same day. This was not a surprise to any of them and that was it. No money for college, no nothing except the use of dads trailer, if needed.

Done. Poof. Gone.

One of my very good friends from my Navy days was a retired Master Chief that was a GS Logistician on a program I managed.

Same story except no cash

He was from rural Virginia and had already enlisted in the Navy.

[McLovin]

My family is very close.
But I had no issues when the kids left for college. And they all went very far away from home.
My wife was always a mess about it though.
I was the one with primary responsibility for getting them into colleges. Those efforts started of course since they were born, but really kicked into intense gear by middle school. Finding and honing skills in recruitable sports, SAT prep years in advance, etc.
The first day of colleges were such victories and a sense of accomplishment that for me (and the kids) it drowned out pretty much any sadness about leaving home. We were so focused on continuing the mission and looking forward.
I get that’s probably not normal though. (They also knew that while they were in college, everything would be paid for for them, but that upon graduation they are adults who would never be living at home with mommy and daddy again, and that’s apparently not so normal these days either).
So be happy! Look forward to their move towards adulthood. To paraphrase the great REO Speedwagon, it’s time for them to fly!

[Crowbob]

Not long ago my daughter rendered her heartfelt appreciation for her having been taught early and often to solve her own problems. As she was crossing the Rubicon into marriage, parenthood and the crazy world of adulthood, she realized how dependent and helpless many people are. She was surprised at how poorly some people manage crises and get overwhelmed.

That was good to hear.

[3rd_gear_Ted]

Its actually harder to send them to Europe for the summer.

[gsxrken]

Been through it 4 times now; the 1st was hardest but mainly b/c he went to a Service Academy and that meant he was leaving the household for good. It was in fact a very abrupt conclusion to my immediate tutelage and I had a lot of “Cat and the Cradle, little boy blue” realities that I had to face. Still do.

The other kids were tough too but they’re back frequently enough that I can and do lean in on their further development. I hope you get to see them thriving in their new setting during your first parent’s weekend visit, and witness them looking forward to return to it after each break. That will make it a lot easier on you. But the drop off usually is pretty grim, and you’ll probably have to support the wife while you deal with it quietly on your own.

[stevej37]

My father brought me to my dorm for the first year of college in 1972. The new drinking age was 18, so almost anyone in college was qualified and legal.
After walking up four flights of stairs and passing open beer kegs on each floor...my father just shook his head and said "Good Luck"

[mjohnson]

Originally Posted by craigster59

My high school graduation gift was a suitcase. What does that tell you?

Yup. 1250 miles from my old bed to my new one. 17yo, I guess I won the birthday lottery.

Take care with whoever you associate - I'm not kidding, 30y later and we're still bumping around with those people. It's all good, and we get a huge laugh of it...

[asphaltgambler]

Good stuff guys, while there are some differences on these experiences, I dig the honesty...

[cstreit]

Originally Posted by berettafan

Man this is hard. I don’t know how you guys with older kids send them off.

I'm facing this next year. Not looking forward to it.

[berettafan]

Originally Posted by gsxrken

Been through it 4 times now; the 1st was hardest but mainly b/c he went to a Service Academy and that meant he was leaving the household for good. It was in fact a very abrupt conclusion to my immediate tutelage and I had a lot of “Cat and the Cradle, little boy blue” realities that I had to face. Still do.

Just got home from drop off. 7hrs each way...ugh. Thought about the above quote today a few times. Wife and I both thought he was perfect for an Academy but that isn't what he wanted. Thankful we're not facing the above reality today.

cstreit it is an exhausting mix of emotions. that's the best description i can come up with after today.

[bivenator]

A timely thread, I will move my daughter into college on Saturday. I haven't been too emotional about it, in contrast to mrs bivenator. Reading these posts though has awakened the anxieties a bit. Got kinda dusty in here just thinking of the coming day.

[tadd]

Hell, the wife and I are leaving the house to the youngest. He's ready for us to go and so are we!

Going to be so awesome to be getting rent!!

[matthewb0051]

Originally Posted by berettafan

Thanks all. Blacksburg bound tomorrow afternoon. I do think it’s the right place for him but am already counting the days to thanksgiving break.

Both of ours are in college. It was hard at first but then it gets to be ok. Just wait until all of yours are at home for a summer. That will freak you out more than taking them to college. When you still want to have control over them and know they are young adults and you need to let them do what they want (within reason).

Enjoy that crappy drive to Blacksburg. Also, get used to the 300% price hike in the local hotels, even as far out as I-81 when Va Tech has some event, including move in weekend. I will recommend the Fairfield Inn and Sweets at Christiansburg exit on 81, nice to have a Cracker Barrel next door.