Dealing with Folks who are Habitually Late...

[Jeff Higgins]

...for club or group drives (or rides). This has, admittedly, been somewhat of a pet peeve of mine since my very first motorcycle club experience, which makes it over 40 years at this point. This isn't like being late for other club get togethers, like dinners, picnics, and the like. Those can all begin on time in the absence of the straggler. Drives, however, are different, for obvious reasons. If they begin on time without that straggler, well, they get left behind.

One of the mottos I really liked, and have since adopted from my early motorcycle club days is "we will always wait for someone who is running late. Eventually, though, we will stop waiting for someone who is always running late". I think that's fair. Especially if that "someone" is given multiple warnings over the course of time.

I think perennial tardiness shows a disrespect for the club or group. It also seems to engender some resentment after awhile, when the group finds itself always waiting for the same individual. So, at some point, we make it clear that we will leave on time, with or without that individual, even if they call or text to let us know "I'm running a little behind..."

Is that unreasonable? Do you folks have any other approaches that you have found effective?

[KFC911]

Yeah .... just leave their tardy azz behind next time

[cantdrv55]

Whenever I’m late for a group anything it’s always because of a stomach issue. That’s why I don’t sign up ahead of time and instead just show up. Now if there’s going to be a porta potty guaranteed at the meet site, I’ll be on time.

I’ve been left behind before and I appreciated the route sheets the group leader posted on a rock or tree nearby.

[Por_sha911]

When setting up the ride, give fair warning that we plan to leave at X o'clock but at x:15 we leave with or without you.

When the perpetual tardy person shows up to an empty meeting spot they will change or quit (and either one is fine with me).

Lateness is rude and selfish. That person is saying that their time is more important than the time of the 10 people that waited for them.

I had a friend that was always late. He would be late to his own funeral. I'd tell him to come to my house at 1 pm and just plan on us leaving at 2pm. It worked great. I called it "Cal time" (his name was Cal).

[Jeff Higgins]

Hah - the guy I'm thinking of is on "Cal time" as well.

We take at least a couple of multi-day trips over the course of any given year, staying in a different hotel every night as we make our loop, or "out and back", or whatever. We always give this guy a departure time from the hotel that is one full hour prior to when the rest of us have agreed to leave. Everyone is sworn to secrecy. And, unbelievably, this guy is still late, after having been given that hour earlier target.

You're more forgiving than we are, Joe. If we say 10:00, the parking lot is empty at 10:01. The thing is, guys start gathering up to an hour prior to departure, and just hang out and have a cup of coffee or something. But when it's time to go, we go. No quarter anymore.

[oldE]

When my FIL died, my wife's older sister was to read the opening passages of his funeral service. She was late. I was PO and was overheard by one of the staff of the funeral home saying, "She'll be late to for her own funeral. "
He assured me if we gave her to them, she'd be on time.
If the group is scheduled to leave at 9:15, there should be nothing but memories in the parking lot at 9:16.
Leave his sorry self behind.

Best
Les

[Zeke]

I was a few minutes late to a TRE New Years Day run and the parking lot was empty. All those cars were gone in 5 minutes. Or less. Never found them.

[Icemaster]

Leave.

They'll continue to do it as long as you let them. It's like any other behavior, don't cater to it.

[jyl]

If he isn’t paying for the group’s food, gas, or accomodations, I don’t see the problem with leaving him behind.

[stevej37]

The only thing I know is that it's nearly impossible for a person to change from being habitually late.

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by stevej37

The only thing I know is that it's nearly impossible for a person to change from being habitually late but I can prevent them from wasting my time.

(fixed it for you)

I'll give someone 15 minutes. Stuff happens to everyone. I will say that X:15:01 I am pulling out.

Even if it is just a dinner. If you are late, I'm ordering without you. I may be eating when you arrive. So sad, too bad.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by stevej37

The only thing I know is that it's nearly impossible for a person to change from being habitually late.

But it's easy-peasy to quit waiting for them

[asphaltgambler]

On time = early, period. We're all, (most of us) are grown men and women and can tell time, anticipating ETA's.

[Jeff Higgins]

Originally Posted by stevej37

The only thing I know is that it's nearly impossible for a person to change from being habitually late.

I've noticed that too. Why is that?

One other universal trait I've noticed in these guys - they always try to put it back on the rest of the group. "What's the hurry?", or "why are you guys always in such a rush?".

[rwest]

I heard a saying one time: “How long would you wait for the Queen if she was late?” I would wait for her for maybe 10 minutes, I like my friends better, so maybe I would give them a half hour.

If it’s a casual outing, I might have them meet me at my house, so I can keep doing whatever I want until they show up and then I can get something else done while waiting.

[Rusty Heap]

I will say Mr Higgins is always prompt when he shows up or we meet up.

For the waiting game, the 15 minute rule applies. after that we be gone.

[cstreit]

One things I've noticed about the habitually late. They firmly believe that they "have enough time" forever.

It has taken you 60 minutes to get ready for the last 20 years. Yet you always think it will be 15.

[LEAKYSEALS951]

**** late people.

edit **** sounds like a duck but starts with a f.

I remember in dental school, the carbs got clogged on the 911 with rust from the tank.
I was stranded. I removed the jets, cleaned each, eventually got the car running-
Showed up to class STILL ahead of late people.

The professors would give answers to test for early people on the condition they not share it with the 'late' slackers.

I haven't set my alarm clock in several years. I wake up to the minute.

[LWJ]

I am pretty militant about this. My buddy is always late. I gave him a start time 90 minutes early for my wedding. The only time he has been timely in the 35 years I have known him. It made me laugh.

[Baz]

Ever read a classified ad that lists the price as "firm"?

Then there are those that say "OBO".

You just need to decide what your terms are......make them be known......and after that let the chips fall.....