Why do I always...

[KFC911]

The "K" in my initials stands for smartazz

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by Eric Hahl

Reply to social media questions with snippy answers?

For instance. A guys asks what it would take to replace his compact spare tire with a full size tire/wheel. I reply, "A full size tire/wheel.

Another example...

Name a place you haven't been but always wanted to visit.

I looked at the replies, "Italy, Greece, Alaska, Hawaii, yada, yada, yada".

My reply..."Jennifer Aniston's bedroom".

I just can't help myself.

Being witty can be a burden.

[wdfifteen]

Are you talking about things like this? I posted this on an earlier thread:

My wife watched the movie "Sully" on Netflx or something and wanted me to watch too because it was so good. She said it had her in tears.

She was totally into the movie nearly in tears and I was sitting there skeptical about everything in it.
Then, Capt Sully called his wife and told her, "Go to turn on the TV." Her reply was, "Sully, what is it?"

Vicki was watching nearly in tears I was cracking up laughing, nearly in tears.

"What the hell is the matter with you?"
Through tears of laughter I managed to say, "Sully should tell her it's the big rectangular thing on the TV room wall."

[Eric Hahl]

Lol, just saw this on f book. GuessI, we, should be careful.

[Eric Hahl]

Originally Posted by RNajarian

Ha ha I love it Eric. Reminds me of one of my favorite Mad Magazine segments . . .

Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.

I had one of those books!

[masraum]

Originally Posted by Crowbob

I’m stopped at an intersection next to a guy on a bicycle wearing brightly-colored tights and matching helmet. In front of him, the reason we are stopped, the road guy is rolling with a paint roller some kind of glue across the intersection preparing to lay down a roll of that white striping that you see at intersections.

Bicycle guy asks, ‘Does that stuff really stick?’

Without looking up or reacting in any other observable way, the road guy says, ‘No.’

I’m sure the bicycle guy had no idea why the loonatick next to him (me) was dying of laughter.

Fantastic!

I get similar obvious questions from the grandsons. I know that most of the time, they are just wanting some interaction, and the one that's the most frequent is the 4yo, so I greatly limit my silly answers, but every once in a while, I give him a silly answer to which he usually responds with something like "No, that's not right!"

So the cyclist was apparently, not as smart as my 4yo grandson. LOL!

[masraum]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

Are you talking about things like this? I posted this on an earlier thread:

My wife watched the movie "Sully" on Netflx or something and wanted me to watch too because it was so good. She said it had her in tears.

She was totally into the movie nearly in tears and I was sitting there skeptical about everything in it.
Then, Capt Sully called his wife and told her, "Go to turn on the TV." Her reply was, "Sully, what is it?"

Vicki was watching nearly in tears I was cracking up laughing, nearly in tears.

"What the hell is the matter with you?"
Through tears of laughter I managed to say, "Sully should tell her it's the big rectangular thing on the TV room wall."

LOL

[Steve Carlton]

That was Leslie Nielsen's first comedic movie role, which changed his career. Another silly answer:

[GH85Carrera]

My wife thinks greeting cards, birthday, valentines day, and especially anniversary cars are important. Mostly I think they are just expensive wastes of time, but I learned long ago, happy wife = happy life. So I buy the cards.

If I bought her some sweet mushy valentines day card or anniversary card, she would think I had a stroke, especially a birthday card! It is hard often to find a valentine day card that is funny, with slight zing. Anniversary cards are really hard to find that are not just sappy.

I know some ladies want the mushy, one of the many reasons I love my wife and know I have the perfect wife, is her sense of humor. You should hear her talking to some of her lady friends. They love each other, but snarky and funny comments are laughed at.

[masraum]

I'm on several facebook groups for things like "snake/reptile identification," "rock/fossil identification," "insect/spider identification," etc.... It's surprising how many folks post absolutely horrible photos of things and say "what is this" where the photos are out of focus, from 20' away of a 1/4" bug, or of 3" of the back end of a snake in the shade through a plant.

Many, many times I've had to stop myself from responding, since, I'm sure I'd just be kicked out of the groups. And some times there are really interesting posts with good photos that are followed up by really extremely detailed, accurate responses.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by Steve Carlton

That was Leslie Nielsen's first comedic movie role, which changed his career. Another silly answer:

Great movie. That clip reminded me of the following commercial.

[Noah930]

^^^ I love that Little Ceasar's pterodactyl commercial. It's always made me laugh.



Dad joke: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee?

Because the "p" is silent!

(Taught to me by my then-1st grader.)

[Rusty Heap]

Why do I keep wanting to modify a perfectly good stock running machine.........pipes/jetting/air-intake, more jetting.........shrug, just to have a bit of a tune..........that buggers you up.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by Noah930

^^^ I love that Little Ceasar's pterodactyl commercial. It's always made me laugh.



Dad joke: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee?

Because the "p" is silent!

(Taught to me by my then-1st grader.)

LOL! I'm stealing that one to make the adult kids cringe!

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by Eric Hahl

Reply to social media questions with snippy answers?

For instance. A guys asks what it would take to replace his compact spare tire with a full size tire/wheel. I reply, "A full size tire/wheel.

Another example...

Name a place you haven't been but always wanted to visit.

I looked at the replies, "Italy, Greece, Alaska, Hawaii, yada, yada, yada".

My reply..."Jennifer Aniston's bedroom".

I just can't help myself.

I always wonder if it if from watching too many situation comedies on TV. They all have the dumb person to ask a dumb question, and almost every reply is a funny line. Watch almost any new or old sit com, and the replies are designed to make you laugh.

[masraum]

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

I always wonder if it if from watching too many situation comedies on TV. They all have the dumb person to ask a dumb question, and almost every reply is a funny line. Watch almost any new or old sit com, and the replies are designed to make you laugh.

One of these days, I need to get a hold of the old episodes of MASH. I haven't seen any, probably since 1985-ish.

[GH85Carrera]

We have all thought of the perfect reply just moments too late when the person has left, or the conversation has changed to another subject.

Most people want to be funny, and that is a LOT harder with just text, and no voice inflection or facial expressions to help convey you are trying to be funny and not mean.

[KFC911]

I just tyoe funneee Glen....

It doesn't work

[flatbutt]

Originally Posted by masraum

I'm on several facebook groups for things like "snake/reptile identification," "rock/fossil identification," "insect/spider identification," etc.... It's surprising how many folks post absolutely horrible photos of things and say "what is this" where the photos are out of focus, from 20' away of a 1/4" bug, or of 3" of the back end of a snake in the shade through a plant.

Many, many times I've had to stop myself from responding, since, I'm sure I'd just be kicked out of the groups. And some times there are really interesting posts with good photos that are followed up by really extremely detailed, accurate responses.

Rock ID? mmm geology is one of my minor interests. Ill check that out.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

My wife thinks greeting cards, birthday, valentines day, and especially anniversary cars are important. Mostly I think they are just expensive wastes of time, but I learned long ago, happy wife = happy life. So I buy the cards.

If I bought her some sweet mushy valentines day card or anniversary card, she would think I had a stroke, especially a birthday card! It is hard often to find a valentine day card that is funny, with slight zing. Anniversary cards are really hard to find that are not just sappy.

I know some ladies want the mushy, one of the many reasons I love my wife and know I have the perfect wife, is her sense of humor. You should hear her talking to some of her lady friends. They love each other, but snarky and funny comments are laughed at.

The funniest Valentine card I got said, "Be my toad." I guess that's more funny than frog. Or I missed the joke which is likely given from whom it came.