When Was Your Last Good Bar Fight?

[Jeff Higgins]

I was reminiscing with a life long buddy of mine the other day. We've known each other since we were about twelve years old. We were both maybe a little "wild" in our younger days, probably getting into a bit more trouble than most, but all in good fun. We never set out to hurt anyone, weren't "violent" by any stretch, but at times just found ourselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. All involved were certainly "willing participants", and we never started anything, except once...

We had ridden our motorcycles (I was on my '76 Sporty that I still own today, and he was on his '67 Sporty that I had owned for awhile) to a local "biker" bar. It was early-ish when we arrived, so we were the only two in there at first. We ordered a pitcher (we were actually underage, but we could do that in this place) and started shooting pool.

It didn't take long for other bikers to start rolling in. When a rather large group (maybe 15-20) showed up (flying club colors), their chief dickhead nonchalantly grabbed our fresh pitcher as he walked by, then hollered at the barmaid (who calmly watched the whole thing) to bring him some glasses. I went up to the bar and asked for another pitcher and she charged me for it. I told her she had seen what happened, and to put it on dickhead's tab, but she just told me to "work it out with him".

I was pissed. No win situation, though. Until another group arrived, about a dozen of them, flying a rival club's colors. The wheels were starting to turn... My buddy and I were formulating a plan...

I went over and stole a pitcher off of dickhead's table when no one was looking. Poured a glass for my buddy and myself. Dickhead turned around, noticed his pitcher was gone, and came straight for us. Strutting like a frickin' peacock in front of his pals, accusing us of stealing his beer. So I told him "oh no, it wasn't us. I thought you guys were all friends, so when your friend over there (pointing at an unsuspecting member of the other club who happened to have a full pitcher in his hand) picked up your pitcher, I thought it was all cool".

I couldn't believe he actually bought it. They didn't like each other much anyway, their rivalry was pretty well known. I think in retrospect, he was looking for an excuse anyway. Didn't matter though, it worked. Dickhead accused the rival club member of stealing his beer which, of course, he vehemently denied. That's all it took. It was on.

Pool cues getting broken over people's heads, then the sharp ends used to stab them (fortunately, most had leather vests). Bar stools getting broken over people. Pool balls and pitchers flying through the air. We decided it was a good time to leave.

Out front, with the bikes backed up to the curb, we both looked at the same thing at the same time - those darn kick starters. I think we both muttered a little prayer as we flipped them out and put our boots on them. Must have worked - both fired on the first kick and we were outa there. By now, front windows were being broken, with all kinds of things flying through them. A few blocks away, were heard sirens, in another block or so several police cars with lights and sirens going passed us going the other way on their way to the bar. We just kept going and never looked back.

That was 44 years ago. *Sigh* I just don't think I have that in me anymore. We never threw a punch, but there were other times when that became necessary. In the instances where it was, that was all it was. Even shaking hands and buying each other a beer afterwards on some occasions. Never anything as violent, with so many people involved as this one. They were obviously much more serious than we ever were. People actually got hurt hurt, like hospitalized hurt. The place closed for a long time (weeks? months? I can't remember) to repair all of the damage. Even made the local news.

Yet, in spite of all of that, we never felt bad about having started this one, even under false pretenses like that. They were all primed for it anyway. We merely provided the incentive to get started.

So, any good bar fight stories?

[rwest]

Well, the bartender did tell you to work it out with him....

[Tobra]

I have always had enough sense to not get in any bar fights.

[ramonesfreak]

Personally, never. About 15 years ago I was at the a Belgian Beer Bar on 4th St in NYC with my friend and his wife. My friend was waiting to use the toilet and the girl that was in there for some reason thought he was trying to break in. He wasn’t, I was standing next to him chatting while waiting. When she came out she was screaming and punched him. Well, I immediately knew what was about to happen and it did. My buddy punched her in the face and nearly knocked her head right off. Her boyfriend jumped in and that’s when I took off down the alley and got some pizza at Joe’s. Too many stories like this.

[wdfifteen]

There’s only one that I remember, about 1969. I wasn’t technically part of the fight, but I got a gash on the back of my skull. Some guy threw a bottle, I ducked and it smashed on the wall behind me. Glass ricocheted off the wall and hit me.
I’m a lover not a fighter. When was the last time you had sex in a bar?

[Crowbob]

My brother and I were sitting at a table drinking a beer in a hotel bar out in the middle of Nowhere, MI. otherwise known as Capac. Capac Hotel. Very hot Saturday afternoon. There were 5 people in the bar, total: me, my big bro (a local), one guy at each end of the bar and the barmaid.

Tigers were on TV, muted, so the place was dead quiet. A/C felt great.

The guy on the left end of the bar, Bud longneck in hand, calm as you please, walked over to the other guy who was watching TV, not paying any attention to anything but the TV behind the bar.

The guy walking flipped his empty longneck over and smacked the other guy in the back of the head, full force. The bottlee jerked forward then faced the bottler who stepped back, still holding the busted longneck.

"Did you see that?, bro asked, his eyes were wide.

'We're outta here!', I said and we left over his objection, 'I got the keys, I'm driving, c'mon.'

And that was it. We left. Quickly. He nor I ever heard anything more about the incident.

[GH85Carrera]

Never, but I came close one time. I was at a local nightclub that was NOT a gay bar. The tables were all full, so I was sitting at the bar admiring the chick bartender. Out of the blue, the dude next to me put his hand on my knee. I forcefully brushed his had off my knee and glared at him. A few minutes later, his hand was on my knee once again. I turned to him and in a low voice, said get your hand off of my knee and leave this place of I am going to stick this beer bottle in your ear.

He understood my message, and he left.

One of my buddies was a 6'4" buff dude. He actually enjoyed getting into bar fights, and he almost always won. He also arm wrestled, and won almost always. I refused to go to a bar with him as I knew he was going to pick a fight on almost any night. I did not want to be involved.

[Pazuzu]

Do you want actual bar fight stories, or just stories about being a spectator while someone ELSE fights?

College. About 8 of us were out for a birthday. We were punks. Leather jackets, mohawks, chains and knives kinda punks. Went to the local frat bar, expecting to have some fun. Fun was had. Ended up with a stab wound to my thumb which still has a scar 30 years later, my roomate who was built like a lumberjack was locked in the keg cooler because staff thought he might kill someone, and all of us got away because punks have far more situational awareness that frat dudes, and we fled from the cops much faster.

College, we had a house party going on. We lived in a 2 story Victorian style house with front and back yards, lots of room. Probably 150+ people. A group showed up, we didn't know them but house parties back then were open door events. Said group started cause trouble, and I forcible sent them towards the door. Well, until one of them pulled a revolver and put it to my nose. Nothing happened, because there were literally 50+ people standing right there in that room that would have ripped him apart. You could see entire universes bloom to life in his eyes when he did that, the realization of how f-ed he was. I know, because when someone puts a gun to your nose, you ONLY SEE ONE THING, and that's their eyes. The rest of the world swims away...

I also bounced at a rock n' roll club in Tucson, had to break up a few fights. Had both knives and broken bottles pointed at me. Also was shot at. Got the job because I was a patron, and the cops yelled at the bar because I was taking a-holes out to the alley when they acted like an a-hole to the girls behind the bar. Apparently that was illegal. So, I was hired, now it's legal!

Worked the door for a Mentors show. One dude got a full, closed bottle of beer right across the top of the nose. It suck cleaning up someone else's blood and sputum (both come out violently when you get a full bottle across the top of the nose).

Another time, walked a dude out the door. I was not going to take him around to the alley, because he just needed to leave. However, he had a bottle in his pants, pulled it, broke it on the wall and threatened me right there in front of MY freaking bar, in front of MY freaking friends. Dumbass

Quiet Wednesday night, our bar had open mic, and some hippy folk band had just played. They went out the back to pack up their car, when one of them ran back in saying they're being robbed. I grab the phone and run out there. We backed up on a parking lot that was shared by a few other shops, and the pool hall next door. A group from the poolhall had come out when the hippies were packing, and decided to rob them. I had already dialed 911 and was talking to an operator, describing the situation. The bad guys ran off to a car, I walked towards them, one of the guy gets back out of the car with a gun pointed at me (20 feet?). I stumble and hit the ground because I'm sick and tired of having guns pointed at me. I'm also still on with 911. The dude gets back in the car (back seat), the car squeals away, and as it's leaving the lot, the dude hangs out the window and lets several fly. At least 3 bullets hit the brick wall that was 5 feet behind me, all within WAY too close of a range. All while I was STILL on the phone with 911. Who then sent an officer out. 2 hours later. Rock n' roll bars never get police support.



Or did you want all of the times that I saw a fight starting, and left, because I'm tired of getting punched and stabbed?

[speeder]

Had to think about this one for a while, I’ve been in a few fights but in a bar? Fights inside of a bar usually get broken up pretty quickly unless they are a full on Donnybrook. I’ve worked in bars and nightclubs for years when I was younger and been involved in some all-out brawls but usually as a cop of sorts…trying to break them up and/or restrain someone. When I worked for Prince at his club in DTLA back in the early ‘90s, we had a birthday party for some young person during the day once where the worst mass brawl I’ve probably ever seen broke out…people knocked out having seizures on the floor, 5 or 6 separate fights going at once, etc. For the life of me, I can’t imagine what the genesis of that one was.

We had pretty serious security because most nights it was a large hip-hop club, (different promoters ran different nights), but we were understaffed because I guess they racially profiled the birthday party and decided that a bunch of white teenagers would not give us much trouble, lol. 😂

We gambled wrong.

[gregpark]

Yeah, I learned early on there are certain guys you just should not go out drinking with. Many years ago a few of us went to the Silver Peso, a fun bucket of blood kind of bar. Our friend Mike with us that night was a good size guy who could fight and was looking for it when he got drunk. There was a slightly built guy sitting at the bar in full dress army attire with a Ranger patch just minding his own business. Well, Mike started in on him. "I heard you guys are pretty tough" the army dude was polite and humble and said not really. Mike kept provoking this guy who finally said he didn't want any trouble but Mike went too far and in the blink of an eye he was face down on the floor with the guys foot on his neck and his arm held straight up being twisted. It was over in seconds.

[speeder]

That was an IQ test that your friend failed, Greg. I’ve seen similar.

[Baz]

I've always been more of a lover than a fighter.

Back in '79, while visiting our local watering hole on the barrier island, sitting at the bar I struck up a convo with a lovely lass who had moved here with her boyfriend from Akron. Apparently, he had ended up going back to Akron. We went for a walk on the beach and ended up dating for a couple years. We were both in our 20's. She worked for a real estate developer in Daytona Beach Shores and rented an A-frame right on the ocean on the south end of the island. Man we had some really nice intimate times together. She was quite sophisticated but a lot of fun to hang with. Took photos of me while I surfed.

Of course there are other "bar-related" stories but this is the one I like the most.

[speeder]

That’s a much nicer bar story than the ones we’re telling, for sure! 👍

[Baz]

Originally Posted by speeder

That’s a much nicer bar story than the ones we’re telling, for sure! ��

Ha - thanks. Sorta went against the grain but that was all I had.

Here we are at my pad......bottom pic is with her sister who came down for a visit.

[LWJ]

First. I love Higgin's story. Awesome. Should be in a movie. It is poetic.

Me? I got blind punched coming off the dance floor when I was in High School at some underage club. Landed on my a55. The worst part? I was on some sort of med and went skiing that day, my face was puffed out huge and weird. And some idiot has to hit me. I never knew who or why? Whatever. I probably earned it some other time. I was a difficult youth.

But, a different time coming from the same underage club, some guy starts kicking my buddy's knee as we are walking to the car in the early am. None of us had ever seen him prior and we had zero idea what the heck he was doing. There were four or five of us. One of him. He was average to small. I am six foot and athletic. I asked some random girl who was standing around to call the cops because he seemed sort of insane and I was concerned for our safety. (She ended up being with him.). Since I had made a leadership type move, the guy gets in my face. My Mom had made a point of reading me an article that very day about stabbings in the downtown area. Which is exactly where we were. I was acutely focused on not getting stabbed. The guy got into my space, I grabbed his shoulders and kneed him in the balls. He dropped like a rock and bled a little and broke his watch. While he was on the ground looking up at me he said "had enough?" It was hard not to laugh too much at that. We walked off.

[Bill Douglas]

I was running out of bars I could still go to. So I stopped.

Umm, it was sort of an an alter ego thing I was into, so I've probably had about forty or fifty bar fights. I enjoyed the chaos, the sound of glass breaking, people screaming, chairs and tables flying. It was like a movie slowed down frame by frame - except for me who was going 2X speed. By day I was a freshly ironed white shirts and wearing a suit at the bank, and spoke with a private school accent.

So I stopped when cameras started appearing in bars. I've only been locked up twice for it but released the same evening because it was a self defence thing and I had the right to defend myself and others.

I dunno, but maybe the most memorable one was a Scottish sailor wanted to sit with us guys in a bar then got angry when my friend Kevin made jokes about how he talked. For some reason he hit me. I punched him so hard he and the chair flew over backwards then I knelt on him raining punches down on his face for about two minutes until the bar manager said to stop.

So all in all, lots of fun.

[KFC911]

Every single one of 'em ... Gimme three steps...

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by Bill Douglas

So all in all, lots of fun.

The moral of the story is, Don't eff with Uncle Bill.

[shadowjack1]

Join the Marine Corps, go on Liberty. Take it from there.

[flatbutt]

I've never been in a "good" fight of any kind. They all sucked.