women-OT

[fty]

Why cant women understand anything....? (most anyways)
Top stuff bout me.....
1.Im a good guy, I dont lie, cheat or steal
2.I say what I feel bout things
3.Im busy all the time @ work,avtcie lifestyle

4.I dont lie
5.I dont cheat
6. I try my best
7.I try to see my girl as much as I can

Bad stuff bout me
2.I say what I feel bout things
3.Im busy all the time @ work ect
7.I try to see my girl as much as I can

Why am i getting so much grief....? Can somebody explain these infernal contraptions cuase these women things I dont get...I give them what i think is good and right and I still get grief...
signed- very confused

[Crippler]

Women...The day you figure them out is the same day you turn into one. We are all better off not knowing.

[CJFusco]

The problem with my relationship:

I love (in order - and this excludes "needless to say" love like for family and pets)
1) my girlfriend
2) my friends
3) my car, and any Porsches

Now the problem is that sometimes numbers 2 and 3 join forces, such as my friend Mike's (MikeCT to you) recent purchase of a 944. This looks to the girlfriend like I am placing friends or my car before her. Simply not true.

[justin]

Hey Chris, I know what will fix EVERYTHING, just give me your wheels and turbo nose,that will do it I PROMISE.......

[rbt944]

Just ask her what she want's (I won't be held responsible on the outcome of this).


-Gus.

[MikeCT]

Originally posted by CJFusco
The problem with my relationship:

I love (in order - and this excludes "needless to say" love like for family and pets)
1) my girlfriend
2) my friends
3) my car, and any Porsches

Now the problem is that sometimes numbers 2 and 3 join forces, such as my friend Mike's (MikeCT to you) recent purchase of a 944. This looks to the girlfriend like I am placing friends or my car before her. Simply not true.

Dude you know you love me more sometimes.

[awilson40]

Fact...Men think with their minds..logical and calculating. We are problem solvers. When we see a problem, we think it through, figure out the solution and fix it.
Women think with their hearts and feelings. They seldom see a problem as black and white and want to 'feel good' about a solution, whether its the 'best' solution or not.
We have been married for 21 years and my wife is Very emotional, while I'm a fmr Marine and Very logical. We are quite opposites and have had our issues, but We both realize that men and women operate mentally different and work through that. She is really good at knowing when she is 'just being emotional' and writes it off as that as do I. I have told her many times that she cant blame me for her feelings if she can't verbalize the problem. If she has a problem with something I have said or done, then she needs to present me with the facts. Basically...If I dont know whats broke, how can she expect me to fix it. Like you, I'm a good guy, I dont drink, chase skirts, lie,etc. I work 40 hrs a week(I refuse overtime as family time comes first) and am always available if she needs me, but its up to her to explain a problem or 'feeling' she may have. Dont expect me to guess. There have been times where I have had to make a decision reguarding finances, situations , children,etc. that she may disagree with. I explain my reasons, but I am the husband and father and while we will discuss, my word is final. She accepts that. Call me old fashion, But I really think most women respect a man who takes an active leadership role. Firm but fair in a loving...but not dominant way.

[rammstein]

My car has been in the shop for months (1 month since I bought parts, meaning mech has had thumb in a$s for month). I was very upset, and I was talking to my girlfriend about how maybe I should sell it and get something that works. Her response was "You love that car, and you should keep it because it makes you happy and you've said its faster at the track than anything else you could afford". This is why we've been together for 5 years, and probably why I am still patiently waiting for my car to return.

That being said, like all women she has days where she is nuts (emotions is what she calls it). I've decided that all women are on hormonal rollercoasters all the time, not just a few days a month. So they are more or less drugged constantly by their own body. So when they act screwy, go run an errand for a day. When I do this, I usually get a nice result. Also, anytime I am confused by something lacking logic, I just say "I understand". I have no clue why this works.

[Z-man]

fty:
Women are difficult to understand, but it is possible to do so. It just requires that you be extra patient and understanding.

When you find your soul mate, you will see that despite any frustrations, grievences, mixed messages...etc, that it is worth it!

I've been married 9 years (anniversary was July 9th), and I keep falling in love with Kim more and more everyday! Sure, there are times when we don't see eye-to-eye, and there are times when we disagree, but when that happens, we typically compromise our stand and meet somewhere in the middle.

Communication is really the key with relationships. Listen to her first, and speak less. Get to understand when she says important things, when she has a double meaning, and when she's not so serious. Try not to solve all her problems for her: often when a woman is stressed and complains, she just needs an ear and a shoulder to lean on. Save the romantic heroics for when she's happy.

I recommend reading the book: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Grey. While I don't totally agree with everything he says, I believe his points about the psyche of men vs. women are very accurate and easy to understand.

And watch more Oprah!

Just kidding about watching more Oprah!
-Z-man.

Perhaps the 911 guys can give you some more advice. (Moving to OT)

[RANDY P]

don't even bother trying. the more you listen and try the more agonizing it becomes-

You're getting flak because you respond to it - it's the reaction she's looking for.. Spend more time on the car, drink beer with your buddies, make plans without her - and don't dote over her (dissapear for a week). Stop trying to accomodate her every whim. She don't like what you're doing? Point to the door and mean it. Be yourself, don't let her control you.

rjp

[Dantilla]

Another book if you can find it-

"His Needs, Her Needs"

Sorry, don't know the author.

[bell]

2 words..............caveman action

[tabs]

Awolson40...U have a good wife/ person there..she is able to step back within her self/emotionally etc and see what she is doing. Then she is able to make the necessary changes. Not many people are able to do that..Thats what you described

Lots of times people both men and women carry emotional baggage (unresolved issues) from earlier in their lives...so if that other person in your life is acting peculiar look around the corner and see who that person is really mad at? Usually it has nothing really to do with you..however you might have said or done something which is like a triggering device....that sparks that fire.

[island911]

Originally posted by RANDY P
don't even bother trying. the more you listen and try the more agonizing it becomes- . . .

Oh man, that is good!
-----------------------------------
Seriously though. . .

Consider: Every relationship is an on-going negotiation.

The best one can hope for, is good faith negotiations.

[scottmandue]

Man walking down the beach finds a bottle, he picks it up and pulls the cork... out comes a genie... he says "thank you for freeing me! I will grant you one wish, whatever you want." So the guy thinks then says "you know I love Hawaii but I HATE to fly, I would like a highway between the mainland and Hawaii!" The genie says "whoa there guy that's a two thousand mile highway over the middle of the Pacific ocean do you have any idea how much land would have to be moved to do such a thing?" The guy thinks for a moment then changes his mind and asks "okay then can you help me understand my wife?" Genie says "So do you want a two lane or four?"

[Sarah]

Scott...that was funny.

On the other side of things.....How about you guys help with this one.

How is it my husband can be out with his brothers for a whole day and when he gets back I ask..."so...what's new with everybody"?...and he says...I don't know...not much. I didn't really ask.

So do most guys just really not care or do they enjoy their guy time superfacial banter more?? Or is there an unspoken "don't ask don't tell policy"??

Several gals I know appear to have this situation in common.

[plandy]

All true but females have been like this for million years they are not going to change now

[surflvr911sc]

Originally posted by Sarah
How is it my husband can be out with his brothers for a whole day and when he gets back I ask..."so...what's new with everybody"?...and he says...I don't know...not much. I didn't really ask.

So do most guys just really not care or do they enjoy their guy time superfacial banter more?? Or is there an unspoken "don't ask don't tell policy"??

That drives my wife crazy! Although she has accepted that she will never get all the details she likes, she keeps asking. It’s definitely not an issue w/ us, likewise I’ve accepted that she will always ask. I do try to give her more of the details that she wants to hear but I, and guys I know, just don’t think that way.

We know when something is bothering us and guys will talk about it, discuss it, and get on with it, over. We sense how each other are doing emotionally just by being together in our activities. Just being together and doing stuff is usually our way of bonding with or without discussion. We also don’t discuss our feelings, and especially not other guys’ feelings, as openly as women. Guys can hang out for hours and hardly say a word. Women seem to have a hard time letting two minutes go by without talking. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just another example of how we are different.

[Z-man]

Originally posted by surflvr911sc
That drives my wife crazy! Although she has accepted that she will never get all the details she likes, she keeps asking. It’s definitely not an issue w/ us, likewise I’ve accepted that she will always ask. I do try to give her more of the details that she wants to hear but I, and guys I know, just don’t think that way.

We know when something is bothering us and guys will talk about it, discuss it, and get on with it, over. We sense how each other are doing emotionally just by being together in our activities. Just being together and doing stuff is usually our way of bonding with or without discussion. We also don’t discuss our feelings, and especially not other guys’ feelings, as openly as women. Guys can hang out for hours and hardly say a word. Women seem to have a hard time letting two minutes go by without talking. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just another example of how we are different.

This is very true. To expand on that theme: men are "doers:" if they get together, typically, it is to do something, and not just to talk. Be that fishing, car stuff, basketball...whatever: most men have to be doing something when they get together. It is in the middle of the "doing" stuff that meaningful conversations can take place, but it is never, "Hey, I have a problem: can we drop everything and talk about this?"

Women have no trouble just talking. (No slam intended, although I'm sure this sentence will be taken the wrong way!!)


-Z.

[mideastmafia]

I'm surprised 944sBoyeee hasn't chimed in on this one...


SHAUN