16 year old's life lesson

[Adam]

Whoa, glad she's ok.

I wonder about the damage though. It certainly looks plausible that someone's bumper has carved a path through the side of the car. See how it gets deeper in the middle of the damage, like a swinging arc?

The scrape on the front she might have done without knowing it, especially if she's a green driver.

If my old man piss tested me when I was growing up, I would have had a big problem with it. Not because I was a pothead, but because it's a trust thing. I only smoked it once and it made me sicker than hell. Besides, I doubt she's "smokin' dat *****" on a regular basis - as most kids just can't afford to!

[911boost]

Somone hit her. If it was a pole or an immovable object it would have left a deeper crease in more of a staight horizontal line.

drug testing huh? damn.......

Bill

[911SC Pilot]

Hmm, I would question where all that mud came from. Looks to me that maybe she( or somebody else, like a boyfriend, or girlfriend) were doing some donuts in the mud. Plus, i find it very hard to think that the drivers side front bumper damage, had anything to do with the car getting hit at school.to have both sides of a car hit like that, goes beyong somebody at school hitting it.

[Leland Pate]

Drive Cam!

[Schrup]

She passed the test this morning & figured that gave her free reign to do whatever she wants again. I had to inform her that she won't be driving the car unless it's convienent for me & maybe after 6 months of proving to me that she can be responsible (ie getting a job & saving some money to get the car fixed) I may let her have back some freedom with it. Told her not to push or argue with me or the insurance goes bye bye untill she can get it on her own, which isn't for a couple years.

I'm at my wits end, stuck between her and my sleep deprived (irritable) wife. Life will be soo much nicer when my 11 month old son starts to sleep through the night. I glad to be working swing shift this week.

[CJFusco]

schrup - every teenager uses the old "It was hit in the parking lot" excuse when they get their first fender-bender. It looks to me like she didn't know the boundaries of the car and scraped against a pole at a gas station

i don't want to look like i am pointing at your daughter, but we in the US really need tougher driver's ed programs, make it tougher to get one's license, etc. The driving age should be raised to 18... there is a reason why something like 80% of all accidents involve either a teen or an elderly person.

[Zeke]

I'll go with the construction or that she was backing up. The damgage appears to have started at the rear and stopped mid door.

[ZAMIRZ]

Paul, there are some major trust issues between you and your daughter. I think you might be better off working on that than randomly drug testing her and interrogating her over how she crashed her, excuse me YOUR, car. Just an honest and humble opinion from someone who was 16 just 3 short years ago. BTW, it's very obvious the damage was her fault on the car, especially from the answer you told us she gave you for the scuff on the driver's side front bumper.

[Victor]

Maybe that was revenge for the drug testing?

[lparker]

Originally posted by 911SC Pilot
Hmm, I would question where all that mud came from. Looks to me that maybe she( or somebody else, like a boyfriend, or girlfriend) were doing some donuts in the mud. Plus, i find it very hard to think that the drivers side front bumper damage, had anything to do with the car getting hit at school.to have both sides of a car hit like that, goes beyong somebody at school hitting it.

yup....i'd be curious to know why there is so much mud in the wheel well from going in REVERSE.

[Bill Douglas]

I would lighten up on her a bit. At 16 she's got a lot of things going on in her life, a lot of stress about having damaged her Dad's car, now she's being accused of taking drugs.

If she's a nice kid, which I assume she is, why not take her out for a pizza and tell her some stories of how you crashed your Dad's car, and do a bit of bonding.

[Adam]

... and then try to trick her into confessing! LOL

Just kidding! A '96 Mustang isn't a bad first car... I would have loved something like that when I was younger...

[bell]

Originally posted by Bill Douglas
, now she's being accused of taking drugs.

just pointing out......earlier in this thread schrup says her mother caught her with some 6 months ago.........

for that reason i agree with the test.........but what do i know, i'm a "hipocrate"

[jyl]

Coming into this thread late.

I recall stupidly damaging some cars when I was young too, some mine and some belonging to relatives. Nothing that major, but easily could have been. It takes time to learn driving.

I never lied about the cause. It's not clear your daughter is lying either. I admit it's hard to figure what other vehicle caused that damage, other than a monster truck, but weirder things have happened.

I wouldn't like my kid driving around in a thrashed car, because it might teach them to disrespect their and others' possessions. But I drove around in a dented old VW and it didn't turn me into a bum in the end.

So, in the end, I think I'd let her keep driving it, and hope she learned some sort of lesson, in parking if nothing else.

As for whether to repair it, to me it depends on whether the car is really worth $2K of repairs. Seems like you thought not, since you dropped collision coverage. Even if yes, I don't know about having her pay for it. The kid is 16, presumably any work she gets is going to be low wage, obviously she wasn't going to be able to pay for any major repairs, and you knew that when you loaned her the car. Making her cough up $2K that she doesn't have, to repair a car that wasn't worth insuring, for damage that was very likely an accident and might in fact have been not her fault, seems kind of unproductive.

Mind you, if this were part of a pattern of irresponsible behavior by her, then my views would be all different.

[Schrup]

Originally posted by Bill Douglas
I would lighten up on her a bit. At 16 she's got a lot of things going on in her life, a lot of stress about having damaged her Dad's car, now she's being accused of taking drugs.

If she's a nice kid, which I assume she is, why not take her out for a pizza and tell her some stories of how you crashed your Dad's car, and do a bit of bonding.

She is a nice kid. When I am drug tested at work, I don't feel as if anyone is accusing me of using drugs, it just comes with the job. I have told her that she can smoke all the pot she wants as long as she mantains passable grades, doesn't bring it in the house, relinguishes her drivers license, & does not expect any cash from me for recreation. She often speaks of when she turns 18, so she can move out & smoke herself silly & I remark that that's fine as long I'm not responsible for her.

When I was 16 I took my mom's back up rural mail delivery car joyriding & totaled it. My old man threw me out of the house for good.

[CJFusco]

"When I am drug tested at work, I don't feel as if anyone is accusing me of using drugs, it just comes with the job. I have told her that she can smoke all the pot she wants as long as she mantains passable grades, doesn't bring it in the house, relinguishes her drivers license, & does not expect any cash from me for recreation"

I was smoking pot when I was 16. And drinking in the school parking lot during school. Somehow I got away with it all... my parents thought I was a perfect little angel. I don't know, some people are just better at hiding things than others.

I know countless teens that either clipped someone else's car when turning a corner, or scraped against a gas station pole, and then claimed it happened in the parking lot while they were at school, at the mall, etc. I would make a deal with her: tell me what really happened, and I won't bring home the drug tests anymore.

[Moses]

Some of you have this all wrong. I tried playing the "trust" card with my dad once when I was about 17. He laughed himself silly. He said, "Of course I don't trust you to make responsible decisions. You're 17! It's completely natural for you to try to get away with as much as you can. It's also natural for me to do what I can to keep you from hurting yourself or someone else."

In Shrup's case, his daughter has been caught with weed. Teenager/Chemical impairment/Drivers license. Dangerous combination. Shrup's drug testing plan is not only good parenting, he's helping to keep his daughter and everyone else on the road safer.

Why would anyone in their right mind trust a teenager?

[Moneyguy1]

Moses...That is funny..My Dad said a similar thing years ago when I was 16..."Your job is to lie; My job is to catch you at it".

Most kids indulge in "pain avoidance". That is natural; they lie to avoid punishment (or retribution). Watch even toddlers. Children are, by their very nature, deceivers. Most outgrow it to a great degree, some do not and go on to become politicians.

[pwd72s]

Other than to say that I'm glad that my experience of raising a daughter is long over, I'll remain mum!

[JonSeigel]

I took one look at the photo of the Mustang and thought "*****, that car needs to be lowered." But, I guess you've got more compelling issues to deal with. Good luck!