Proud Daddy

[dd74]

Last night, a homeless woman pounded on every door on our street, including mine when I wasn't home, in hope of getting a handout from the residents. My wife called me, just as I was rounding the corner to our house - obviously alarmed by having our front door POUNDED ON, and hearing a voice shout through the door that she needed money. I pulled up our street, sighted the woman running up the neighbor's front walk to pound on their door, then when no one answered, she proceeded to the next house. Me? I pulled in to our driveway, where she promptly dashed down the street, and into our driveway to ask me for money. She was quite obviously deranged or impaired. I told her I had nothing to give - possibly the wrong thing to say, yes - however, once I did say that, she verbally attacked me until she noticed the 911, and asked, "Are you a lawyer or a doctor? Yeah, you're real sorry, aren't you?"

I used to work in downtown L.A., near Skid Row. I met homeless people who had truly incredible if not at times heartbreaking stories. I still see these souls now and then, and when there is recognition between they and myself, we talk. In as far as a couple bucks, a five, even a ten, so what - it's just money - I'm lucky enough to make more of it, so I'll give whatever I can. But last night was utterly alarming, particularly as it could have involved my family. I do not find sympathy in myself when the homeless become as aggressive as they have in the last few years. To be certain, being confronted in my own driveway didn't win me over to their cause or empathy toward their desperation, which is as sad as a woman who in dire enough straights, find she has to wander from door-to-door to ask for a handout.

[928ram]

I hear this kind of thing all the time. Where does that come from? Does anyone have any actual stat's or is this just off the cuff?

I don't know that anyone's ever compiled (or tried to) stats on this.

Try approaching a "will work for food" guy and offer him an afternoons work....he'll tell you his real story.

Try approaching a "homeless and hungry" with a meal..he'll tell you his real story. (You'll be eating that Big Mac)

Point out the nearest shelter that serves a hot meal for free then come back in 1/2 hr to see them still standing there..starving?

The scammers are proud of what they do and waste no time admitting that it's a ruse. Between my own experience and what I've gleened from media, I'd guess no less than 50% are dishonestly "downtrodden". You can give a real donation to a real shelter or other help org. and be far more comfortable that someone who is truly in need will be helped by your donation. It's just that it takes a little more effort than tossing a buck out the window.

[jyl]

I admit that I've become pretty hard-hearted with panhandlers. Berkeley and SF have so many of them, it's hard not to be.

Some of the ones in SF seem genuinely badly off and many are mentally ill. The mayor of SF is pushing what seems like genuine reform in helping the homeless - housing and assistance, no more cash payments for scammer are drugs - I think he's on the right track.

The ones in Berkeley seem more with it, and I stopped giving them money decades ago.

[M.D. Holloway]

I will throw them a pack of smokes - better thsn cash, like manna from heaven!

I was in Toronto last year, out with some friends for dinner, walking along I see a bum with a sign. I reach into my pocket, drag out a bill and pop it in his bowl. The guy starts hoot'n and howling. I took out the other bills and relized I just gave the guy $20 Canadian! The exchange rate would make it like $6 US (not really) - but I slept well knowing the guy was getting good and tanked on my stupidity!

When I am on the road, if I see a few college kids in a dinner I will get their server to give me their bill. I won't say anything to them even when they come up to me other than "Do good things". They look at me like I'm Donald Trump (I just expense it!) - I just remember when I was in school and if someone did that for us I would look to pay-it-forward someday. I do the same with tolls some times.

[dd74]

Originally posted by 928ram
It's just that it takes a little more effort than tossing a buck out the window.

Hmmm...you make it sound as if I'm a sucker for slipping them a buck or two when they're standing on the median with a sign. Okay, well, I've had that same feeling (that I'm a sucker) more than once.

But what do you mean by "it takes a little more effort..."? On whose part? The homeless or mine?

[M.D. Holloway]

Supe - you did a good job. I think my 17yr old daughter would stick her head out the window and scream "Get a *****'n job ya smelly Bum! Were all tired of support'n yo a$$!"

oh such proud moments...

[cstreit]

You guys are hilarious. Supe and Lube, I think you BOTH did a good job, haha.

Working in downtown Chicago I saw my fair share as well and rarely helped. However there were a few guys that were the right age, veterans, and missing limbs and obviously deserving. THOSE guys always got a donation.

[M.D. Holloway]

cstreit: I'm gonna be in Chicago and Skokie May 23-26, want go drink beer and tell lies?

[cstreit]

Mike,

Cool! I think we can arrange a meeting! Will you have transport?

[M.D. Holloway]

yup - I will fly in on the 22 and try to stay till the 25. I will let you know more as the dates come close. My cell is 214-450-7864. Call in the next week or so.

[MikeCT]

Originally posted by LubeMaster77
I
When I am on the road, if I see a few college kids in a dinner I will get their server to give me their bill. I won't say anything to them even when they come up to me other than "Do good things". They look at me like I'm Donald Trump (I just expense it!) - I just remember when I was in school and if someone did that for us I would look to pay-it-forward someday. I do the same with tolls some times.

When will you be in CT?

[928ram]

Hmmm...you make it sound as if I'm a sucker for slipping them a buck or two when they're standing on the median with a sign. Okay, well, I've had that same feeling (that I'm a sucker) more than once.

Even though you can weed out some of those who aren't really in need at first sight, chance are pretty good that you've been "suckered" a certain percentage of the time.
I know I sound like a hardass on this, but I'm not. Over the years I've actually helped a couple families get back on their feet; what amazed me is that the single biggest things they needed to get back on their feet was an address and phone to use so they could get a permanent job.

But what do you mean by "it takes a little more effort..."? On whose part? The homeless or mine?

Well, on your's, but I didn't mean to suggest it was "lazy" to give a bum a buck. The way I see it, if you seek out a legit shelter (which I'm there are plenty in LA), and make a donation there, your dollars will get someone a blanket and a warm meal and not go to cigs, booze, drugs. Giving them cash can feed a bad habit, whereas a shelter will give them what they really need. The scammer won't go to the shelter because he doesn't really need it. Maybe I'm all wet on this, but I do give charitably when I can and try to look for the most real use per dollar; not just a reciept for my taxes.

Hard to believe that I'm a conservative who voted for "W", huh?

[M.D. Holloway]

Originally posted by MikeCT
When will you be in CT?

Actually, I will be in Longuyland NY and Newark NJ the third week in June - then gonna kidnap my Dad in CT (lives in Waterford) and fly back to the big D (Dallas for you yankee's). So, if you are up for it, I will swing through.

College kid with a P-car, looking for a hot lunch, I love it!

[MikeCT]

Originally posted by LubeMaster77
Actually, I will be in Longuyland NY and Newark NJ the third week in June - then gonna kidnap my Dad in CT (lives in Waterford) and fly back to the big D (Dallas for you yankee's). So, if you are up for it, I will swing through.

College kid with a P-car, looking for a hot lunch, I love it!

I think I'll be in Boston for the American Beer Fest that weekend.

Anyway the p-car makes spending the little money I do have on food a low priority.

[M.D. Holloway]

I attened that 5 times when I lived there - do they sell you a glass for $20 and it's all you can drink from all sorts of micro brews? Man, there was some great beer there.

[MikeCT]

Beer Fest

[M.D. Holloway]

thats it! Do your self a favor - park the ca at Alwife station in Belmount and take the T in. Any other way is a nightmare.

Nice to see the prices have held - $22 bucks is a fantastic price for some of the best 'ber evah'. Oh ya, you will get stinking drunk. fill your belly with plenty of protein and fat, and drink lots of water when you are there - these are tested techneques that maximize the beer consumption!

Have fun!!!

[MikeCT]

Thanks for the tips. My sisters live in Boston so I will have some where to stay (for free I hope) which is a bonus.

[Icemaster]

Supe,

She's right, there is somethign wrong, but it all depends on your persepective of what's right.

My perspective is that it's unbeleivable that this....

http://www.staloysiuscincinnati.org/stalps.htm

...has to go begging for funds to provide psychological counseling or crisis services to kids that don't want to go home at the end of the day, or take enough Haldol to knock out an elephant. Because our government entities cannot balance a budget so the kids services get cut first. Short sited - the kids that dont get the help are the ones that start filling up the local jails and have in fact ended up as that individual sitting at the end of the off ramp with the sign.

Kudos to your daughter for her broad thinking.

[Rufblackbird]

Originally posted by Superman
Oh and, as I say, she is strikingly attractive and has been since she was a toddler (mother is spanish and philipina), and now that she's had a few years of experience with males, I'd have to think, Mike, that you might be the bull, but she'd probably be the Matador. Still, your reasoning is clearly sound. I'll tell her you might become available.

Funny exchange: Once, when she had recently broken up with a boyfriend, I was asking her questions out of concern that she was lonely or embarrassed or something. When she realized why I was asking the questions I was, she instantly sought to eliminate my confusion. She said "Oh, boys are everywhere. They're easy to get, if I wanted one. I could go down to the grocery store and be back with a new one in five minutes." It was very funny.

I think Isabo would be able to relate to that.

Well Jim, did I mention I'm single, have a P-car, and I live in HAWAII?