So why are you still single?

[lendaddy]

Most guys will tell you they don't want to get married anyway. That they're having a ball banging bar whores and the like. That marriage is stupid or all chicks are psycho anyway or no married guys are happy so why follow them(this is partially true, see how that happens below).

But in reality most of them desire a stable, committed relationship with a good woman. The problem is that they have entrenched themselves in "the game". The warped sense of reality they get is amazing. It's not their fault really, and I'm not talking down here...just pointing it out.

They end up looking for the girl they have told all their buddies "it would take for me to settle down". Problem is there is only one of her in the world and I already married her J/K But seriously, they've set themselves up to where the lady must not only be what they want, but some cocktail of perfections "the guys" have agreed upon".

Now moving along.... they end up in short(if lucky) painful relationships with whores, *****es or idiots because the physical part is the easiest to get group approval from. Now, no matter how f'ed up this skank is, the occasional comment from the peanut gallery like "dude your chick is smokin!" will serve to excuse HER actions. I blame alot of it on the pack mentality.

That wasn't written very well, and I have much more but I have to head to the bank.

[widebody911]

My single-ness problem (one of them, anyway) is that I've taken myself out of the game. Can't stand the bar scene (not since my mid 20's), and most women I meet have disqualified themselves in some way, ie tatoos/bizarre piercings, single motherhood, dimensionally undesirable, etc. The older I get, the pickier I get, and the less inclined I am to put up with a chick's BS. In the old days, I would put up with it for the, well, you know. Now I'd just as soon spend the time in the shop working on one of the cars, as opposed to feigning interest in some dip***** betty in a bar.

[lendaddy]

Originally posted by widebody911
In the old days, I would put up with it for the, well, you know.


Now I'd just as soon spend the time in the shop working on one of the cars, as opposed to feigning interest in some dip***** betty in a bar.

Regarding the first part above: At the time, did you consciously know that you were forgiving mental/emotional shortcomings?

Regarding the second part:

That's great. In fact I tell all my single friends that there's nothing wrong with being single either. Find something to occasionally dip the wick in and worry about you for a few years.

My belief is that about 20% of the population is capable of a happy marriage. There are a frigging ****load of unhappy marriages out there that pretend not to be.

If you are dating a chick and cant get along/enjoy yourselves 99.99% of the time, then you have .01% chance of being happy once you're married. That is the no ****, honest to goodness truth.

I know I sound like a cynic, but I'm really not. These are honest observations from (quite possibly) the happiest married man in the world.

[widebody911]

Originally posted by lendaddy
Regarding the first part above: At the time, did you consciously know that you were forgiving mental/emotional shortcomings?

Yes. But you tend to trowel mental bondo over it because you want to hurry and shoot the top coat )

[lendaddy]

lol

[mattxbart]

I agree that most men are in denial about their singleness, but there are some Don Juans out there whom have a sense of self within the chaos and can make conscience decisions to remain single and maintain happiness. They are just as open to marriage as anyone; they just have a stringent screening process that keeps them single a little longer than others. In the end however I think we all end up getting married because this is what the women usually wants. I don't claim to have any self-control when I'm in love but hopefully I am able to screen out the wrong ones and know when to marry the right one at the right time.

[Moses]

...you tend to trowel mental bondo over it because you want to hurry and shoot the top coat.

Another classic! I'm waiting for Thom"s single man's blog.

[elwood-914]

Originally posted by widebody911
[/i] The older I get, the pickier I get, and the less inclined I am to put up with a chick's BS. In the old days, I would put up with it for the, well, you know.

Yeah,I got to agree here. I have dated but now I don't over look things I would have over looked, say with my ex when we were younger. It took 19 years of marrage to realize. I don't have to put up with that $%$%&!

[vash]

i disagree, the older i get...nothing changed. i still put up with a bit, to get some. well, i would. i have been with the same gfriend for my personal record. longer than 8 months! but if i was single, i would be doing the same thing. but i would be smarter about it. and leave myself a way for a clean exit.

[M.D. Holloway]

After awhile you become numb are apathetic or both. Either way, some if not most of the bull***** just doesn't have the same intensity or meaning it did.

[FrayAdjacent911]

I think for the most part, I'm single because of circumstance.

'Circumstance' being that I work in a male dominated field, and that my social circle is pretty small. None of my friend's wives or girlfriends have any female friends. I've tried meeting people online, and once or twice it could have possibly worked out, if they didn't drop the ball, or if I had been genuinely interested.

Sometimes I wonder if I really WANT to be in a relationship, but then I see my best buddy and his fiance, who is a wonderful young woman, and I think that I would like to have something like that myself.

Sometimes I think something will work, but then it doesn't.

However this weekend, to try to sum up... A girl I met with a group of friends finally called me back. I won't go into the story, but she's great, and we had a great though short conversation. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I'm really wanting to try to have something with this girl.

I guess I can only try to be the best guy I can be, and hopefully she'll take notice.

[86 911]

Fray, I wish you luck with girl!
Why am I still single? Technically, it would be illegal to get married at my age . I'll think in terms of a 'girlfriend' now. With friends, I am mostly in the same situatlon as FrayAdjacent911 where the guys I hang out with do not have many girls hanging around. Another reason is that I am shy and not the most handsome guy. I'm sure all that will change when my red 911 turbo look cabriolet will be my daily driver to and from school in 3 and a half months! (dont't take me literally though).

[jyl]

Not that I looked, but if I did, I might have only found pics of one of Thom's girls. Where's the pics of the rest of the "harem"?

[CamB]

Thom provided links to two, and I believe he has a strict policy of only providing pictures of the chicks who have been booted from the harem.

[john_colasante]

Originally posted by FrayAdjacent911
I think for the most part, I'm single because of circumstance.
...
I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I'm really wanting to try to have something with this girl.
...
I guess I can only try to be the best guy I can be, and hopefully she'll take notice.

Hi Matt,

First let me say that the Pelican Parts forum is the very best place to get information and advice about Porsches on the planet. But, it is also the very *worst* place to get advice about women. Most guys do not have a clue about women, and that goes doubly around here. There are a few guys here who have a clue and it is refreshing to see them post from time to time.

Your problem is your attitude. I know it is not fair to make judgements based on one post to an Internet forum, but what you wrote seems to say alot about your problem.

There is so much to say on this subject, but I will give you a start. Here it is:

WOMEN ARE NOT ATTRACTED TO MEN WHO HAVE YOUR ATTITUDE.

I hope this helps.

[Jamie79SC]

Good grief - Lenddaddy, we are - for the first and possibly only time - COMPLETELY in agreement.

Not only are we in agreement, but you made a point that I really hadn't considered. Many folks simply are not cut out for this marriage gig. I'm very happily married for going on 25 years now, but there just aren't all that many of us out there.

[lendaddy]

Originally posted by Jamie79SC
Good grief - Lenddaddy, we are - for the first and possibly only time - COMPLETELY in agreement.

Not only are we in agreement, but you made a point that I really hadn't considered. Many folks simply are not cut out for this marriage gig. I'm very happily married for going on 25 years now, but there just aren't all that many of us out there.

every now and then..as they say.

It really is sad to see so many married couples struggling though life. They would BOTH be much better off single, and then they end up bringing kids into it!

[cantdrv55]

Originally posted by lendaddy
[BIt really is sad to see so many married couples struggling though life. They would BOTH be much better off single, and then they end up bringing kids into it! [/B]

And then there are folks who think HAVING kids would fix their marriage. Clearly, there are people who should stay single and, also, people who should not be allowed to have kids, married or not.

[widebody911]

Originally posted by FrayAdjacent911
I guess I can only try to be the best guy I can be, and hopefully she'll take notice.

Ah, one of the cruelties of male indoctrination. Our mothers taught (or tried to) us to be nice, polite and respectful to women. Flowers, candy, opening doors, compliments, etc. That technique is about a useful for getting women as trying to make friends by going into a biker bar by yelling "Which of you fags owns the Harley out front?!" Mom told you that's what women want, women tell you that's what they want, because that's the politically-correct thing to say.

I have to run to a meeting, so I gotta leave you hanging.

Check out http://laddertheory.com/ when you get a chance

[widebody911]

Originally posted by CamB
Thom provided links to two, and I believe he has a strict policy of only providing pictures of the chicks who have been booted from the harem.

Correct; once they're voted off the island - or have voted me off - they're fair game. On top of that, not all of them were as good as sports as these two.

"Got any naked pictures of your wife? Want some?"

--Tom Sellect, Mr Baseball