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Too big to fail
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The Wrong Trousers
You are bidding on a mistake. We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of grandma. And we buy leather pants. I can explain these pants and why they are in my possession. I bought them many, many years ago under the spell of a woman whom I believed to have taste. She suggested I try them on. I did. She said they looked good. I wanted to have a relationship of sorts with her. I�m stupid and prone to impulsive decisions. I bought the pants. The relationship, probably for better, never materialized. The girl, whose name I can�t even recall, is a distant memory. I think she was short. Ultimately the pants were placed in the closet where they have remained, unworn, for nearly a decade. I would like to emphasize that: Aside from trying these pants on, they have never, ever been worn. In public or private. I have not worn these leather pants for the following reasons: I am not a member of Queen. I do not like motorcycles. I am not Rod Stewart. I am not French. I do not cruise for transvestites in an expensive sports car. These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They�re for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I�ll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it. Again, they�re men�s pants, but they�d probably look great on the right lady. Ladies can get away with leather pants much more often than men can. It�s a sad fact that men who own leather pants will have to come to terms with. They are size 34x34. I am no longer size 34x34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown - perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate - I have shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future. These pants are in excellent condition. They were never taken on pirate expeditions. They weren�t worn onstage. They didn�t straddle a Harley, or a guy named Harley. They just hung there, sad and ignored, for a few presidencies. Someone, somewhere, will look great in these pants. I�m hoping that someone is you, or that you can be suckered into buying them by a girl you�re trying to bed. Please buy these leather pants. 
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"You go to the track with the Porsche you have, not the Porsche you wish you had." '03 E46 M3 '57 356A Various VWs |
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10-04-2005, 09:00 AM
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That's hilarious...and someone paid $100 for them!!
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Rick 1984 911 coupe |
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10-04-2005, 09:06 AM
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Quote:
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1983 944 - Sable Brown Metallic / Saratoga / LSD : IceShark Light Kit |
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10-04-2005, 09:14 AM
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Too big to fail
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Quote:
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"You go to the track with the Porsche you have, not the Porsche you wish you had." '03 E46 M3 '57 356A Various VWs |
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10-04-2005, 09:26 AM
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least common denominator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
Posts: 22,506
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Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Funniest thread I have read in weeks!
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Gary Fisher 29er 2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone  1995 Miata Sold 1984 944 Sold I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo. |
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10-04-2005, 09:30 AM
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Damn! I missed it, they were my size!
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"Coffee is for Closers" "Push the button Max!!!" |
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10-04-2005, 09:36 AM
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The seller's name is bsack .
 ball sack ? 
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1977 911S Targa 2.7L (CIS) Silver/Black 2012 Infiniti G37X Coupe (AWD) 3.7L Black on Black 1989 modified Scat II HP Hovercraft George, Architect |
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10-04-2005, 09:39 AM
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undervalued member
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78SC PRC Spec911 (sold 12/15) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7I6HCCKrVQ Now gone: 03 996TT/75 slicklid 3.oL carb'd hotrod 15 Rubicon JK/07.5 LMM Duramax 4x/86 Ski Nautique Correct Craft |
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10-04-2005, 09:45 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: SE PA
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Ball. Brian. Either one works. He posted a link to his web site. http://banterist.com He's a funny guy.
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10-04-2005, 09:53 AM
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Location: I'm out there.
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Fantastic.
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My work here is nearly finished.
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10-04-2005, 09:56 AM
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A Man of Wealth and Taste
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Out there somewhere beyond the doors of perception
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Ohhh FK!!!! I missed em.....
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Copyright "Some Observer" |
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10-04-2005, 10:28 AM
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Non Compos Mentis
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Off the grid- Almost
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"A girl, whose name I can't recall..."
I used to know a girl who was quickly dubbed "the manaquin". Nice to look at, but nothing but styrofoam between the ears. I remember what she looked like, but I can't remember her real name. |
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10-04-2005, 10:44 AM
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Driver
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I got suckered into reading this by the title. Thought it was gonna be a Wallace and Grommit thread, since they have a movie opening up this weekend. Fortuitously, it turned out to be amusing and funny, nonetheless. However, it was considerably more...uh...disturbing than anything related to Wallace and Grommit.
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1987 Venetian Blue (looks like grey) 930 Coupe 1990 Black 964 C2 Targa |
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10-04-2005, 11:11 AM
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least common denominator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
Posts: 22,506
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Okay now I have to know... do you remember how much you paid for them?
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Gary Fisher 29er 2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone 1995 Miata Sold 1984 944 Sold I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo. |
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10-04-2005, 12:46 PM
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Unoffended by naked girls
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I can't recall ever using the word 'trousers' in conversation....
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Dan 1969 911T (sold) 2008 FXDL www.labreaprecision.com www.concealedcarrymidwest.com |
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10-04-2005, 12:51 PM
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Location: Viera FL
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and this is the guy who revels in the potential for population reduction of floridians..
Hell, wear those, you would fit in just fine in south beach... AFJ
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Es geht nicht darum wie schnell man faehrt, sondern wie gut man schnell fahren kann. Ihr Brunnen der nutzlosen Porsche Information |
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10-04-2005, 01:16 PM
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Too big to fail
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Quote:
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"You go to the track with the Porsche you have, not the Porsche you wish you had." '03 E46 M3 '57 356A Various VWs |
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10-04-2005, 01:25 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: So. Calif.
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I'm with Noah on this. My simple mind assumed a deep discussion on Wallace and Grommit's political leanings.
Would these pants be considered more stylish than chaps? Thom, BTW, great ad. What about the rest of the leather ensemble (vest, collar, cap, riding crop)? Sherwood Last edited by 911pcars; 10-04-2005 at 01:39 PM.. |
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10-04-2005, 01:29 PM
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Location: I'm out there.
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Quote:
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My work here is nearly finished.
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10-04-2005, 01:32 PM
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Too big to fail
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Bush hates Wallace but likes Grommit.
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"You go to the track with the Porsche you have, not the Porsche you wish you had." '03 E46 M3 '57 356A Various VWs |
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10-04-2005, 01:38 PM
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1983 Porsche 944 2.5 NA
1987 Porsche 911 Carrera 3.2
1977 Porsche 911S 2.7L
the 23 car
domino
Ducati
1987 Porsche 930 3.3T
1969 Porsche 911 T 2.0 L
