A 12 step program

[Racerbvd]

A 12 step program

Written by Jeremy Robb

Given the difficulty in bringing Liberals into the light, I thought it might be helpful to provide them with a 12-step program that could make it easier for a successful transition into reality. As Conservatives, we have to remember that we can only be supportive to Liberals in this program. They cannot do it alone, but we also cannot do it for them.

The Program

Step 1: Admitting that youre a Liberal
This is the first step for every Liberal on the way to recovery. It is important to understand that youre not progressive, moderate, or enlightened. Youre a Liberal, and you need to be honest with yourself about that fact.

Step 2: Pledge to support your beliefs with facts
Realize that truth is more important than moral superiority and is the only way to come over to reality. You must research beyond propaganda from the Sierra Club, Hillary Clinton, and CNN (the Communist News Network) to understand things as they really exist in the world. You can no longer argue based on feelings or emotion. You will actually need to back up your arguments with real information. This is a difficult step, because it means you cant be lazy any more.

Step 3: Love America
This may be the most difficult step for those of you who are hippies and peaceniks. Admitting that the country you hate actually stands as a beacon to defend freedom throughout the world can make some of you physically ill. You might want to make a visit to a military cemetery to better understand that these men and women gave their lives so that you could spew hatred. Otherwise, you would currently be living in a police state that would never let you wear that nasty patchouli oil, let alone speak out against your government.

Step 4: Take a college level economics class
Ive always defined a Socialist as someone whos never taken an economics class. Most Socialists Ive spoke with would have a hard time balancing their checkbooks, let alone explaining the simple concept of supply-and-demand. Its time to flush your complete ignorance of basic economics down the toilet and understand how the world actually functions. This concept will be very important for the next steps that involve Communism, facts about corporations, and the inefficiencies of government.

Step 5: Say no to Communism and Socialism
While this concept is obvious to most of the free world, it is an important step in your recovery process. If you have difficulty with this step, spend a week living and working in Cuba.

Step 6: Corporations are not evil
If youre reading this article online or in an e-mail, its thanks to corporations. If you get some kind of paycheck, you can thank corporations. If you work for a non-profit or the government, you still have to thank corporations. The non-profit sector and the government wouldnt have any money to pay you without corporations. It is also important that you understand that making a profit doesnt equate to greed or exploitation. Capitalism has created the greatest society in our worlds history. Even Communist countries need corporations to survive, so enjoy a nice, hot cup of reality.

Step 7: The government is inefficient
If you are one of those Liberals who believe the government should tax us more in order to take care of society, you need to pay special attention to this step. You need to realize that government bureaucracy will waste most of your tax dollars, while the private sector will put your money to much better use. Even most Democrat politicians understand this to some degree, which is why Hillarys Socialist healthcare proposal was voted down by a majority of both Democrats and Republicans. Go to your local post office or call the IRS to ask a tax question if you need a reminder about government inefficiency.

Step 8: The earth is not your mother, and shes not dying
The time has now come to stop your donations to Greenpeace, The Sierra Club, and every other EnviroNazi organization to which you belong. Face the reality that the earth, society, and our environment are better off today than ever in recorded history and that they are continuing to improve. I realize that many of you tree huggers will have a very difficult time letting go of the Douglas Fir on this one. I would suggest reading The Skeptical Environmentalist by Bjorn Lomborg. Mr. Lomborg is a former member of Greenpeace and is currently a statistics professor at a university in Denmark. He set out to prove the world was in bad shape and ended up surprising himself by proving the exact opposite.

Step 9: Stop smoking the wacky tobaccy
Okay, some of you might need to enter another 12-step program to complete this step. Marijuana is distorting your sense of reality, and you need to stop using it. Besides, youll save a fortune on snacks.

Step 10: Eat a hamburger
If God didnt intend for us to eat animals, he wouldnt have made them out of meat. You can put your sprouts and tofu on the hamburger, but get some meat into you. Youll look and feel better than you ever imagined. You can always remind yourself that Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian to get you through this step.

Step 11: Stop re-writing political history
Its now time to admit that Bill Clinton is a lying-cheating-sexist-racist-rapist jackazz, Hillary Clinton is one of the worst role models for women in this country, Al Gore really did lose the 2000 election by every vote tabulation you attempt, Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War and didnt create the homeless problem, John McCain is not a typical Republican, and Jimmy Carter is a nice man but has one of the worst presidential records of anyone in history.

Step 12: Be a missionary
Once you have completed the previous steps to overcoming Liberalism, its time for you to share this awakening with others who are not as fortunate. Go out amongst the Liberal sheep and spread the good word of your freedom from the chains of ignorance that once bound you.

Congratulations, and welcome to reality.

[onewhippedpuppy]

So for Ted Kennedy, does that mean he now has 24 steps to complete?

[Tobra]

Originally posted by onewhippedpuppy
So for Ted Kennedy, does that mean he now has 24 steps to complete?

only if he wants to address his alcoholism at the same time

[Joeaksa]

Actually 36 steps if he is to also address being a murderer at the same time.

The day he goes to his maker I will host a rather large toast for Mary Jo Kopechne. The lady deserved better than she got from Teddy at Chappaquiddick.


Mary Jo Kopechne - See Police diver John Farrar's testimony suggesting that Mary Jo Kopechne survived for as long as two hours in the submerged automobile by breathing a pocket of trapped air.

- Learn how Senator Kennedy spent the nine hours after the accident attempting to cover-up his involvement, while Mary Jo Kopechne was left to die in his submerged automobile.

http://www.ytedk.com/

[A Quiet Boom]

All in good fun I understand but I personally know people whose lives have been saved by AA's 12 steps. The way I see it most liberals are incurable, even with the steps provided above. As for Kennedy, isn't it obvious why he supports gun control, he's afraid some "para-military neo-con whack job" will take him out with a high powered sniper rifle or the like. Me I'd just take away his booze until he promises to quit congress.

[HardDrive]

The neo con two step program.

1) Stop being a hateful arrogant a55hole.
2) See step one.

[Mulhollanddose]

Originally posted by HardDrive
The neo con two step program.

1) Stop being a hateful arrogant a55hole.
2) See step one.

Shut up you liberal weenie.

[A Quiet Boom]

Originally posted by HardDrive
The neo con two step program.

1) Stop being a hateful arrogant a55hole.
2) See step one.

Ohh that's precious, liberals calling conservatives arrogant and hateful. While I don't hete liberals I surely am disgusted with them and that disgust will only begin to subside when they stop presumming to know what's best for me, I'll run my own life thank you very much.

[DaveE]

Originally posted by A Quiet Boom
....... I'll run my own life thank you very much.

Funny, I feel the same way.........but then I'm a liberal. Leave me the fuch alone, don't tap my phone, read my email, study my library list. Let me watch what the fuch I want on TV or listen to it on the radio. If you don't like it, change the ******* channel or turn it off.

Oh, and quit telling me what I have to believe too.

[Jeff Higgins]

Reference step 7: My mail was not picked up or delivered yesterday. In addition, it has been arriving later and later, as late as 7:30 pm. So I wait that long to check; flag still up, outgoing still in the box. My son tells me he saw the mailman come through, so I call a couple neighbors. Yup; they got their mail.

So I call the post office listed in the phone book under my zip code and ask what's up. The nice lady that answers, after over five minutes on hold, tells me she really works for QFC, and this is only a drop station. She gives me the office number I need to call. Another nice lady answers, but not a Post Office employee - I've called a private residence. She wonders why so many people call looking for the Post Office. I call the QFC back, wait on hold another five minutes, and tell the nice lady that the number she is giving out is a private residence. "Oh; you know, some one else mentioned that awhile back" is her answer. She does not have another number and cannot help me.

So I go to the P.O.'s website and find an 800 number to call. An automated answering machine picks up and makes me sit through several minutes of messages about rate increases. After that, about the third or fourth option is to speak to some one for help. Selecting that option, the message I get is that the office is closed; hours are 8:00 am to 5:00 pm. Remember, my mail arrives as late as 7:20 pm; two and a half hours after they close. No way, even if I knew exactly who to call, to speak to anyone on the same day I determine my mail did not get delivered.

There you go - one man's brush with our incredibly efficeint gubmint. I finally used their "contact us" feature on their website. We'll see how that goes.

[pbs911]

[Joeaksa]

I could imagine a lot more right now. Where does she live?

[juanbenae]

looks like the ocean in the background, so it's prolly a blue state. funny thing is she is more than likely a liberal, that happens to be a model, and will wear any shirt that the dummy with the camera pays her too.

[Mulhollanddose]

Originally posted by k911sc
looks like the ocean in the background, so it's prolly a blue state. funny thing is she is more than likely a liberal, that happens to be a model, and will wear any shirt that the dummy with the camera pays her too.

You guys may have the loose women, but we have the hot ones.

[Mulhollanddose]

Originally posted by DaveE
Funny, I feel the same way.........but then I'm a liberal. Leave me the fuch alone, don't tap my phone, read my email, study my library list. Let me watch what the fuch I want on TV or listen to it on the radio. If you don't like it, change the ******* channel or turn it off.

Oh, and quit telling me what I have to believe too.

But go ahead and tax me and my demonized neighbor for being greedy enough to work hard, and allow big-brother government to distribute the confiscated property how we and the politicians see fit...Now THAT is socialistic tyranny...MONEY is freedom. Taxation is bondage.

[dhoward]

Originally posted by Jeff Higgins
Snipped....

There you go - one man's brush with our incredibly efficeint gubmint. I finally used their "contact us" feature on their website. We'll see how that goes.

But Jeff:
Who would build roads with out Gubment?
We own the gubment. (Who own da Chiefs?)
You only talked to one slacker out of a bazillion fast, courteous, efficient gubment employees.
I should know, I am a:
a) Labor relations expert
b) Gubment labor relations expert.
c) Liberal, Gubment labor relations expert.
d) Just some guy.
e) All of the above.

Quick, who am I?

[Jeff Higgins]

Originally posted by dhoward
But Jeff:
Who would build roads with out Gubment?
We own the gubment. (Who own da Chiefs?)
You only talked to one slacker out of a bazillion fast, courteous, efficient gubment employees.
I should know, I am a:
a) Labor relations expert
b) Gubment labor relations expert.
c) Liberal, Gubment labor relations expert.
d) Just some guy.
e) All of the above.

Quick, who am I?

Look, up in the sky; it's a bird, it's a plane, no - it's a liberal.

[Superman]

Very funny.

Jeff, you can get online tracking service for your correspondence, and perhaps even 24-hour live customer service. The cost is different.

$0.36 versus $12 and change. The Post Office would be amazing if postage were $12. FedEx is not interested in moving into a correspondence delivery market. Any idea why?

[dhoward]

Just funin', Jim...

[DaveE]

Originally posted by Mulhollanddose
But go ahead and tax me and my demonized neighbor for being greedy enough to work hard, and allow big-brother government to distribute the confiscated property how we and the politicians see fit...Now THAT is socialistic tyranny...MONEY is freedom. Taxation is bondage.

Wild spending is not confined to liberals only. How did you feel about the $50 mil bridge for 50 people in Alaska? How about when my Republican state gov't decides to give a $5 mil grant to a developer to help build a store in a shopping ctr being built near me? Libs aren't the only ones who know how to throw your money around.