The Raelian Message

[scottmandue]

I prefer the classic:


Moses, the pyamids were easy... it was all done with magnets...

What? Oh $hit! I'm in trouble again...
forget what I said...
if the mothership calls tell them I went out for pizza...

Oh yeah... and tabs, phone home.

[scottmandue]

Originally posted by Victor
"How did you build the pyramids" : Generations of slave labour.

Could'nt you rather have asked for him to explain the meaning of Stone-Henge?

Better yet, where did the aliens come from? Did they evolve from amoeba's?

[FrayAdjacent911]

[tabs]

The pyramids were not built with slave labor...but rather as a duty of every Egyptian to find time in their busy schedules to do community service. .... no cell phone, Ipods, Blackberrys or lap tops allowed...

I tend to like Pyramid Cigars that are rolled between the thighs of Dominican Virgins.... they have this nice oilly aroma about them...that when smoked after a good dinner will just send U to heaven.

[Tobra]

It is funny when it is on Southpark or The Simpsons, but here it is just sort of sad

[Jeff Higgins]

Red UFO, is that you??

[}{arlequin]

Originally posted by Jeff Higgins
Red UFO, is that you??

funny

[nostatic]

sorry, I'm a Movementarian...

and a regular one at that...

[notfarnow]

C'mon guys... it pays to be nice.

Raelians are known to entice members with sex.

Seriously!

http://www.rickross.com/reference/raelians/raelians82.html

[nostatic]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Joy_of_Sect

[Don Plumley]

I follow the Noodly Master. Ramen!

[nostatic]

FSM pales in comparison to the Leader.


nananananananananananana - LEADER!!!

[Don Plumley]

That was a great episode. "Outta my way, jerkass!"

[nostatic]

* Moe and Sideshow Mel are covered by dust of the Leader)
Moe: I am covered in the dust of the Leader! He favors me!
Mel: I am even dustier, dustier than thou.
(Homer gets splashed with mud)
Moe: Oh, look who the new pet is!

* Jane: Would you rather have beer, or complete and utter contentment?
Homer: What kind of beer?

* Homer: Just think. I turned to a cult for mindless happiness when I had beer all along.

* Homer: Homer no function beer well without.

* Bart: Church, cult. Cult, church. So we get bored somewhere else every Sunday.

* Homer: Marge? You're the Leader? But you don't look anything like the beans.

* Rev. Lovejoy: This so-called "new religion", is nothing more than a series of strange chants and rituals trying to claim the money of unintelligent fools. Let us say the Lord's Prayer forty times, but first, lets pass the collection plate.
(Ned walks up holding the plate, which only contains a few pennies and a paper clip)
Ned: Uh, Reverend, we're in a bit of a pickle here.
Lovejoy: Oh, uh. (gets out a bigger plate) Try the emergency plate, Ned.
Ned: I don't think that's gonna help.
(they look into the stands of the church. Only the Flanders family and Lenny are there)

* Edna: Now class, who can tell me where thunder and lightning come from?
Bart: The Leader, ma'am.
Edna: Very good, Bart. And who invented Morse code?
Bart: Oh, I should now this one! Uh, the Leader?
Edna: Correct again.
Lisa: He's wrong! You're wrong! The whole damn system is wrong! Arrgh! (kicks over desk)
Edna: What's wrong, Lisa? You use to be such a good student. Don't you want to impress your teacher and get good grades?
Lisa (giving in): Grades?

* Barney the dinosaur: We love him, he loves we, we're the Leader's family.

* Lisa: Careful, Dad. You're the highly suggestible type.
Homer: Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.

* Cletus: You are trespassin' on ma dirt-farm.
The Leader: Do you happen to need a Messiah?
Cletus: No, but I'll take those sacks of money from you.

* Ned (after the Movementarians' lawyers take Homer): You know, I pride myself on being a good host, so I'm obliged to offer you a beer. I'm so darn mad, it's going to be mostly head!

* Rev. Lovejoy (seeing Spaceship emerge from the Forbidden Barn) Oh, mercy! He's the real deal. (rips collar off and slams it to the ground).

* Lisa: It's wonderful to think for ourselves again.
Bart: You said it sister.
TV Announcer: You are watching Fox.
Simpson family: (robotically) We are watching Fox.

* Moe (after the leader is exposed): Damn! It fell apart like everything else I ever believed in! Well, I guess it's back to good ol' fashion voodoo. (gets out a Barney Gumble voodoo doll and pokes it with a mini Duff bottle)
Barney: Wow! I need a beer!
Moe: Come with me.

* Homer: Outta my way, jerkass!

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

nanananananannanan LEADER!

The leader is good the leader is great
we surrender our will as of this date.


I gotta believe god thinks the simpsons is funny, hes even shown up a few times

[Icemaster]

Nothing beats a good movement.

[nostatic]

Originally posted by Icemaster
Nothing beats a good movement.

except a good *regular* movement...

[azasadny]

Makes perfect sense to me!!! I'll join right after I get my $15 million from my Nigerian buddy...

[Icemaster]

Originally posted by nostatic
except a good *regular* movement...

Agreed. Bethoven's 9'th, 3'rd always worked for me.

[livi]

Tough crowd !

Paraphrasing Roan Atkinson on his new stepson: Either this man suffers from severe brain damage - or the new vacuum cleaner has arrived..