You really put your foot in it.

[pmajka]

Ok, new thread, here are the rules. Post something that was said innocently, that can be taken the wrong way. I mean way wrong. Then explain the onnocence.

"This one slips in really easy, the othe one is a big pain in the ass."
-- my wife: referring to difficulty in placing the cookie tray back in its bag.


" I think I'll go down and get a slice."
-- me at family party, wanting one more piece of pizza.

[legion]

"Jon, you should sport a Woody for Holly and I's enjoyment."

-A female coworker to another male coworker during a conversation trying to convince him to buy a vintage station wagon.

[TerryBPP]

"My cock is almost 12 inches and its head is the size of a baseball."

-I own a chicken farm and this is my largest rooster.

[mschuep]

"Is this going to hinder my performance today"

-I said this to a cute nurse when she was taking my blood because I was planning on lifting later, I explainified this to her after I realized what a d-bag I must have sounded like.

[rcecale]

"Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?"
Waitress over the PA system... falling for a crank phone call in the movie, "Porky's"

Something tells me this really isn't what you were looking for...

Randy

[pmajka]

Randy, are you telling us, you never said one thing when you meant a mother?

[defcon65]

Gee Mrs. Cleaver, your hands are so smooth, you must never do any housework.

[Rick V]

'Ward, I think you were a little hard on the beaver last night."

Dirtiest thing ever said on TV from leave it to beaver

[red-beard]

My sister was a professional ballet dancer and super thin. She didn't "develope" until her career ended.

So about 20 years back, she was over at my parents fixing dinner. And I asked her, "So, what are you going to do with your chicken breasts?"

[86 911]

A few days ago I was studying my Spanish script. It involved the future tense and it included me mentioning Jennifer Aniston and Andy Roddick. My friend was making stupid comments wiile I was practicing and blurts out: "You want to have a threesome with Jennifer Aniston and Andy Roddick??? Totally ignoring his idiotic comment, I quickly go onto my next line which starts with "si" ("yes" in Spanish).
I don't think he will let me forger that moment.

[oldE]

This was said to me by a restaurant manager many years ago. My pager had gone off, but she hadn't heard it as it was set to vibrate. She had asked me how I knew I had a call, so I turned it off, then on again and placed the pager on the back of her wrist. When she felt the device vibrate, she called her co-worker over and said to me:

"Show her your thing and let her feel it!"

Les

[PorscheGuy79]

I dont know if this is quite what you are looking for, but I will give it a shot. The first one is dry but just wait for the second!

My fairly new to me girlfriend came with me to dinner at my parents house and after the meal my mother, my girlfriend and I sat down for a game of scrabble. I had blocked her next move she was planning and yelled out.

"Matthew, you son of a bit ch!"

Her cute smile quickly was replaced by a wide-eyed look of embarrassment. As my mother is a very open minded person, she almost fell on the floor laughing. Stil, good fun with first impressions.

As the game continues my girlfriend finds herself with the letters "E", "T", and "W" and goes about arranging them in to WET for all the right reasons. As my mother looks down at her chips, she turns her holder to me and bites her lip somewhat in jest. I laugh, and my mother looks up and asks what is so funny and that she wants to see. Well, my gf cringes and turns the board to my mother, who gets good laugh about it.

Talk about a night with the boyfriends parents! I personally had a great time, and she has been back to their house since.

Btw the gf and my mother now talk via email almost more than I talk to either of them.