Temp position - substitute smarta$$ needed

[scottmandue]

I am leaving for a two week vacation tomorrow to a remote part of Hawaii that I dearly hope has no Internet access.

So someone will need to post for me:
Your posts will need to be irreverent, inaccurate, and incomprehensible.
The position offers long hours, no pay, and little chance for advancement.

If you need me I will be at the hukilau.

Aloha!

[M.D. Holloway]

Scott,
I have been fond of being to be irreverent, inaccurate, and incomprehensible. I would gladly post for you and accept no compensation for my work. I will of course claim no responsibility to inflammatory remarks, spirited cantor or the posting of scantily clad women with a strong reference to their rear-ends. I can post as you or as me being you but I will not (and have to draw the line) of posting as you being me being you but I will post for you being you provided you are you and are not someone else which isn’t you – well, you know what I mean.

[Overpaid Slacker]

Sure, Scott. just PM me your password and I'll take over during your absence.

I'll even feed and reload the cat for you.

JP

[scottmandue]

I should add to the requirements:
Immature and incorrigible.

You are both immanently qualified however I think lubby is a little ahead in the immature department.

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

Yes I need to return this blue shirt. See pink does seem to clash with my wife's red hair. Her blue eyes go well with the Wine Red 911, but I cannot get the horse going with a break stall. Then we have this silly ditch that needs water from the mailbox that the mail lady keeps writing silly notes on. I just am not going to be able to finish the fence if I have to keep changing production on the lines because material keeps getting used at 15% above stated standard that your group gave to me as the absolutely accurate information three years ago. But the horse likes a broken snaffle and she responds well to little tension. So, as you can see, blue just will not work.

[DonDavis]

Screw you and your temp position crap! You've got some nerve wasting bandwidth with your self-absorbed me-me-me whining! I hope a large bug flies into your every 3rd drink while on vacation!!

















Do I get the job?

[scottmandue]

Okay,
David is ahead on incomprehensible.
Don is ahead on incorrigible.
JP has irreverent down.

Perhaps you guys could work as a team?

Or maybe one of you software guys could put together a program that would waste bandwidth by posting random obnoxious comment under my login?

I should add the position requiers that you be a lesbian.

[scottmandue]

Aloha boy and girls!

Now play nice while I'm away.... right, like that is going to happen...

Tell you what all the Republicans blame the Democrats for all that is wrong with the world and visa versa... everything should be the same when I get back.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

I live closest to San Pedro.

Which is a bad thing when the wind is out of the west, but I digress. . .

Have a nice trip.

[Z-man]

Can I be your sub? I mean it would be nice to be on the 'other side' for a while....

-Z

[dafischer]

Originally posted by Z-man
Can I be your sub? I mean it would be nice to be on the 'other side' for a while....

-Z

Z-man, run with it!

[M.D. Holloway]

Originally posted by scottmandue
I should add to the requirements:
Immature and incorrigible.

You are both immanently qualified however I think lubby is a little ahead in the immature department.

You know that is what is wrong with you people, all the while hardworking folks who care about such things spend their time doing things that make stuff better just gets ignored while lazy people who have a political axe to grind try and position themselves to a higher road while all the others sit back and allow such things to occur. This sort of thing has to stop or life as well know it will be more uncomfortable than anyone of can bare to imagine and to think that any one would actually care if we are destroying the planet with high emissions and a lack of consideration while the trade deficit increase and we spend more money on other countries than we do our own is completely ridiculous. As ridiculous as banning thongs and nipple pastes from public forums like this one when a nipple or the folds of a women’s womanhood never hurt or intended to hurt anyone and should only be considered to be objects of beauty as beautiful as a fart in the quit woods. Hee Hee, I said fart and nipple in the same sentence.






GAME ON LOSERS

[74cookiecutter]

LOL! This is the kind of drivle I live to read. Nice first shot, Mike!

[M.D. Holloway]

I find that hundred dollar bills chafe my a$$ so I have gone to using tens and twenties but I don't dive but I think that is the safest route and you know my brother worked on a dive boat and he pulled a dead body out of the water about once a month and there are more bikini's on this thread than the bikini thread as a matter of fact I'm going over there and b1tch and moan because as a Hyundai owner I guess I shouldn't talk cuz I don't want to be a negative Nellie but we are in a war with no foreseeable end and the real estate and gas prices are through the roof (the average middle class single income family cannot afford a house), the doom sayers say a crash is just around the corner (I'm not saying it is) and jobs are moving overseas, our economy is dependent on China and Mexico, the Third world counties are developing nuclear capabilities and sure we don't have the black plague but life ain't a walk in the rose garden and wouldn’t you know that now Israel is going to war and we have more STD's than you can shake a stick at, some will stay with you forever, some that will kill you with more people seem to be dieing of cancer but to me tools are like, watches, guns, and automobiles... to a degree you get what you pay because I like the feel of a good tool (boy am I leaving my self open) but then I am a technician and work mostly with screwdrivers and needle nose pliers where precision is more noticeable but you know I do have a set of Chinese sockets that have been know to crack under heavy use... very annoying when your in the middle of a project and have to stop, wash the grease off your hands, and go buy another socket (at premium price because you are buying only one socket) and I am also a big fan of adopting cats from the shelter and have two that are such but as far as Bengals being mean - some of the meanest cats I have known were mixed breed house cats, my neighbors orange tabby is the meanest cat I have ever met, I saw him chase a dog out of the yard the other day (and he is pushing 15 or more) and one day I took in a Siamese stray that I found in my yard... she wasn't very big but she could do that sitting on the floor leap to the top of the fridge, freaked my friends out and I have a though time of getting a pure bred cat but you can find just about any type you want at the shelter... hardest part is leaving the others behind and having said that there are times when cheap tools make sense when you know the tool is going to be abused such a vice grips that are going to be used for welding which isn’t to say I wouldn't use my German screwdriver to open paint cans and at some point there is a diminishing amount of return on your investment where to use my watch, gun, automobile analogy, If I were rich I would probably be just as happy with my Seiko as a Rolex, a Ruger works just as well as a HK, and I would be just as happy with GT3 as a CGT not that I wouldn't love to have a Rolex, HK, or a CGT just that you are paying two to three times as much money for something that is just a little bit nicer/well made.









OK….so when am I going to see any sort of competition?

[elwood-914]

Scott who??

[nostatic]

This is to voice my dissatisfaction with scottmandude's smear tactics. Let me begin by citing a range of examples from the public sphere. For starters, scottmandude teaches workshops on Trotskyism. Students who have been through the program compare it to a Communist re-education camp. I would never take a job working for scottmandude. Given its selfish offhand remarks, who would want to? It has been brought to my attention that I am confident that genuine patriots will perceive the veracity of my statements regarding scottmandude's surly witticisms. While this is true, scottmandude's ideological colors may have changed over the years. Nevertheless, its core principle has remained the same: to provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction. If you don't believe me, then note that you might say, "Scottmandude's indifference only adds to the problem." Fine, I agree. But we've tolerated scottmandude's cold-blooded taradiddles long enough. It's time to lose our patience and chill our kindness. It's time to fight the warped, distorted, misshapen, unwholesome monstrosity that scottmandude's politics have become. It's time to shout to the world that it wants all of us to believe that the sun rises just for it. That's why it sponsors brainwashing in the schools, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing statements made to us by politicians, entertainers, and sports stars, and brainwashing by the big advertisers and the news media.

Let me carry my thoughts on this subject a bit further. The real question here is not, "How can something that claims to be so educated and so open-minded dare to till the phlegmatic side of the communism garden?". The real question is rather, "Why does scottmandude insist on boring holes in the hull of the boat in which it itself is also a passenger?" The complete answer to that question is a long, sad story. I've answered parts of that question in several of my previous letters, and I'll answer other parts in future ones. For now, I'll just say that when one examines the ramifications of letting scottmandude play on people's conscious and unconscious belief structures, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that we must speak up and speak out against it. Those who claim otherwise do so only to justify their own fatuitous, hectoring accusations.

Scottmandude is obviously up to something. I don't know exactly what, but if it continues to encourage offensive skinflints to see themselves as victims and, therefore, live by alibis rather than by honest effort, I will be obliged to do something about it. And you know me: I never neglect my obligations. You can sum up scottmandude's effusions in one word: soulless. Contrast, for example, scottmandude's ultimata with those of incomprehensible, mumpish common blood-stained criminals, and observe that there is no contrast. I, by (genuine) contrast, take the view that no matter how bad you think scottmandude's teachings are, I assure you that they are far, far worse than you think. Scottmandude's apologias fail to convince me that it never engages in rude, rancorous, or venom-spouting politics. There, my ranting is finished.

[craigster59]

Bring me a Kamaka Concert Ukulele and we'll call it even. I don't post often. But under your name, I'll post agressively, contraversiley, pornographicley, theoretically and intellectually. You can come back rested, relaxed and a whole new Man. But then, You have to grab the "Torch" again and run with it...Hey man, I'm just your "Stand In"..

[nostatic]

As you read this letter, you may feel confused at points. If you do, keep reading. The rationale underlying scottmandude's ideologies is confusing. Fortunately, as you read the superfluity of examples about how scottmandude has been trying to get on my nerves, this letter will slowly begin to make some sense. To start, it should learn to appreciate what it has instead of feeling so oppressed because it can't do everything it wants, every time it wants to.

One does not have to shift our society from a culture of conscience to a culture of consensus in order to answer the ill-bred malefactors who sentence more and more people to poverty, prison, and early death. It is a spleeny person who believes otherwise. No one can deny that scottmandude's newsgroup postings are surrounded by a halo of lexiphanicism, yet scottmandude's buddies all look like scottmandude, think like scottmandude, act like scottmandude, and pooh-pooh the reams of solid evidence pointing to the existence and operation of a subversive coterie of escapism, just like scottmandude does. And all this in the name of -- let me see if I can get their propaganda straight -- brotherhood and service. Ha! If scottmandude wants to be taken seriously, it should counter the arguments in this letter with facts, not illogical panaceas, personal anecdotes, or insults. As reluctant as I am to admit it, I have frequently criticized scottmandude's unspoken plan to promote the sort of behavior that would have made the folks in Sodom and Gomorrah blush. It usually addresses my criticisms by accusing me of pessimism, collectivism, child molestation, and halitosis. Scottmandude hopes that by delegitimizing me this way, no one will listen to me when I say that scottmandude is an interesting organization. On the one hand, it likes to break the mind and spirit, castrate the character, and kill the career of anyone whose ideas it deems to be intransigent. But on the other hand, its secret passion is to force square pegs into round holes. For shame!

I just want to keep our priorities in check. That's why I propose, argue, cajole, plead, wheedle, and joke about ways to hold out the prospect of societal peace, prosperity, and a return to sane values and certainties. By the same token, scottmandude claims that we're supposed to shut up and smile when it says otiose things. I contend that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves, although I should add that scottmandude is intellectually dishonest in everything it says and does. If you doubt this, just ask around. While it's true that scottmandude's cock-and-bull stories are wrong for the same reason that drug use, adultery, lust, murder, and lying are wrong, it has yet to acknowledge that fact. Scottmandude's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of scottmandude's cat's-paws, who loudly proclaim that we have too much freedom. Regardless of those indecent proclamations, the truth is that I like to speak of it as "uninformed". That's a reasonable term to use, I believe, but let's now try to understand it a little better. For starters, by comparing today to even ten years ago and projecting the course we're on, I'd say we're in for an even more antihumanist, unpatriotic, and diabolic society, all thanks to scottmandude's memoirs. I feel I am not alone when I say that scottmandude's agendas are evil. They're evil because they cause global warming; they make your teeth fall out; they give you spots; they incite nuclear war. And, as if that weren't enough, I myself have to laugh when scottmandude says that violence and prejudice are funny. Where in the world did it get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever, but my position is that its toadies are ineducable. Scottmandude, in contrast, argues that its opinions represent the opinions of the majority -- or even a plurality. This disagreement merely scratches the surface of the ideological chasm festering between me and scottmandude. The only rational way to bridge this chasm is for it to admit that it can get away with lies (e.g., that no one is smart enough to see through its transparent lies) because the average person cannot imagine anyone lying so brazenly. Not one person in a hundred will actually check out the facts for himself and discover that scottmandude is lying. In closing, we must work together to focus on the major economic, social, and political forces that provide the setting for the expression of an imperious agenda. Together, we can make a difference. Forever and always.

[nostatic]

When I used to hear about illiterate students graduating from school, I often wondered how that was possible. But after encountering some of scottmandude's more spiteful conclusions, I now realize that not only is it possible for people to graduate without having learned fundamental skills such as reading and writing, but that it's possible for these same people to believe that courtesy and manners don't count for anything. Let me begin by citing a range of examples from the public sphere. For starters, I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that scottmandude's left hand doesn't know what its right hand is doing. Nevertheless, I can state with absolute certainty that scottmandude acts as if it were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling. I am familiar with scottmandude's goals, I understand how it operates, I have long recognized its tactics, and I know just about where scottmandude now stands on the ladder to total power. I can therefore say that, certainly, if I recall correctly, its gofers claim to have no choice but to excoriate attempts to bring questions of phallocentrism into the (essentially apolitical) realm of pedagogy in language and writing. I wish there were some way to help these miserable, soporific finks. They are outcasts, lost in a world they didn't make and don't understand. When I first heard about scottmandude's stratagems, I dismissed them as merely execrable. But when I later learned that it wants me to become the target of prejudice, ridicule, discrimination, and physical violence, I realized that if you think you can escape from scottmandude's irresponsible pleas, then good-bye and good luck. To the rest of you I suggest that its unbridled plaints shackle us with the chains of propagandism. Scottmandude then blames us for that. Now there's a prizewinning example of psychological projection if I've ever seen one.

One could imagine that some good might come from letting scottmandude send grotty ranters on safari holidays instead of publicly birching them. But the only one whose imagination is vivid enough is scottmandude. Scottmandude's outrage at complaints about it is indicative of its self-esteem and value system. For proof of this fact, I must point out that the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, I have never been in favor of being gratuitously unprofessional. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to stand as a witness in the divine court of the eternal judge and proclaim that I find scottmandude's failed attempts to respond to this letter with hyperbolic and uncorroborated accusations and assaults on free speech mildly amusing. As reluctant as I am to admit it, no matter how bad you think scottmandude's op-ed pieces are, I assure you that they are far, far worse than you think.

Scottmandude's "sincerity" is as transparent as the icy, uncaring look in its eyes. Some people might object to that claim, and if they do, my response is: I've never bothered scottmandude. Yet scottmandude wants to bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? All right, enough of that. Now let's talk about something else. Let's talk about how scottmandude's stories about autism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. If you ever ask scottmandude to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. In closing, although this letter has been lengthy there are still a large number of comments about scottmandude that I have had to leave aside. I didn't even begin to mention, for instance, that I have a misty, inchoate suspicion that scottmandude will pamper picayunish conspiracy theorists before long. Anyway, the important point is that I am fed up with scottmandude's inane and puerile behavior.

[M.D. Holloway]

check...