...and the academy goes to

[sand_man]

And the academy for best fictional internet short story involving a Porsche 930 goes to (DRUM ROLL PLEASE) Diabolos88 for this account of the 3/19/2006 "VALET INCIDENT":
The death of a Voodoo cursed 930.....

The death of a Voodoo cursed 930.....
Took out the wife for the first time since Ive owned this beast, gave valet my car, then upon exiting, handed valet my ticket. He attempted to pullup around in front of the restaurant. As we both stood watching, the moronic valet clerk proceeded to make a u-turn from the right lane and drive up to us as we saw an oncoming car in the left lane,(same direction) smash right into my left front tire/qtr panel as he was already perpendicular to the street!!!! I just about DIED right there!! I swear my heart sank as I felt like I just fell out of a 10 story building onto concrete pavement!

Now the neverending saga of Valet service rebuttals concerning liability and insurance claims will for sure do me in and finish me off as I fathom the cost of fixing this nightmare is going to exceed $15-$20k to do it "Ferdinand perfect". Something the Valet service's insurance is not expecting for sure.
c'est la vie.................

[sand_man]

And the academy for best fictional internet short story *SEQUEL* involving a Porsche 930 goes to (DRUM ROLL PLEASE) Diabolos88, for having the guts on 3/24/2006 to drive his wrecked Porsche 930 from IL to AZ only five days after sustaining major accident damage:

ISO indy 930 tech/guru in Phoenix/AZ

ISO indy 930 tech/guru in Phoenix/AZ

my baby needs some TLC, but Im only looking for that one special 930 guru, who is detailed oriented and knows his shi#, has tobe near Phoenix or Scottsdale.
Prefer indy rather than a Porsche dealer that is going to try to capitalize on me in my time of need.

The cars got a host of problems that were present prior to making the trip in the first place, albeit they were not as pronounced as they are now. Perhaps the long wear and tear of "driving it like you stole it" from Illinois all the way to Amarillo TX could have done the car in. Those 5 speeding tickets don't have anything to do with it either, oh and the time when the deer jumped out at me while flying down rt44 and me locking them up and sliding off the road and nearly running into the side of a mountain had nothing to do it it as well. haha

But since Im out of town, I dont have any of my tools or equipment to perform any maintenance on my own. On the drive down here, I broke down 2x, (flatspotted both front tires in the lockup, then also my right rear wheel bearing just about frozeup, it began a stone-grinding noise that got progrssively worse and worse. ) took it to nearest shop(pepboys!) in Tulsa, Ok when out of sheer luck, their head mechanic, Joe Banks, came over and said, "don't let enyvon heya touch yoa car, YA!!" in a fake German accent.

Later said he was a "Porsche Master" for 31yrs (had the ring Porsche gives out to Masters to prove it) He took my car to his home, and replaced the wheel bearing for no charge, just get me back on the road safe.
well, he also said the car had more "issues" that needed to get fixed soon.

the 930 punchlist:

1 a-arms need replacing asap, right one is bent probably from 4x4'ing off of rt44!
2 left rear wheel bearing will soon go, makiing slight stone-grind.
3 on the torsion bar plate, the 2 lower rusty bolt cracked off
4 align (lower/corner balance? not sure)
5 brakes need to get looked at, pedal pushes almost to floor. He said this could have been caused by the wheel bearing that allowed the wheel to wobble around 3" and might have caused the brake lines to stress flex.
I remember the pedal feeling extremely mushy all of a sudden right after the stone grind got very scary sounding.
6 A strange clunking noise has developed on the rear, but he could not find source.

All in all, driving the 930 down from Chicago to Phoenix was nevertheless a little bit like Planes Trains & Automobiles, only my car did not turn on fire!
there is a God
Although the trip was mostly fun and enjoyable especially with those long streches of empty open road in TX where the 930 saw 160+, it was a major pain in the ass to have to stop every now and then and have to make A/F adjustments 'cuz of difference in sea level changes.

please help me track down an AZ tech,

thanks

Eddie
312-493-4458

[sand_man]

The Golden Globe for best internet drama involving a Mercedes S600 and a valet goes to (AH SKIP THE F-CKING DRUM ROLL) diabolos88 for this 3/3/2006 account...RIGHT BEFORE HIS 930 WAS WRECKED BY A VALET on 3/19/2006:

http://www.mercedesforum.com/m_38832/tm.htm

I'm very happy with my purchase of a '96 S600 coupe. I decided to take my wife out for dinner to show her our new toy. Anyways, at the restaurant, I give the keys very hesitantly to the valet. After dinner, we drive home and park it in the garage. As we exit the vehicle, as my wife was smiling, she took a quick peek over the whole car one last time before we went inside only to yell out that someone had hit the drivers side taillight/ as well as the body metal surrounding the taillight!

[sand_man]

and the award for biggest azzhole with too much time on his hands goes to sand_man

[dhoward]

LOL!

[Dan in Pasadena]

Pardon me, but I do believe someone is well,.....BUSTED!


What a Maroon.

EDIT: Of course there IS one other possible explanation - Stop taking expensive-ass cars to that same frickin restaurant you idiot!

[sand_man]

...and that someone has also been "Banned"!

Not you, dhoward.

[dhoward]

It says I was banned.
Can anyone here me?
Hello?

[Dan in Pasadena]

Really? Diablos88 is banned? For this or other?

Someone should post an OT thread listing all the banned. They could call it, "Voyage of the Banned" and relate what got the guys banned. Everyone that remembers or kept links could chime in. Of course, this would likely get the thread banned...but it would be fun to remember all the "hijinks" as they used to say.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

And this is why I always park my own car.

[Dan in Pasadena]

I can HEAR you but I can't here you. I tried to give you a break, but couldn't apply my brakes. Than, I new I could sea you later so I new it wouldn't mater.

[sand_man]

Once upon a time, it all started so innocently:
http://forums.rennlist.com/rennforums/showthread.php?t=305471
Then the thread got ugly and LOCKED!

[trader220]

It started way before that thread... months ago when he claimed he buoght that car I was on his case since he could not keep a single story straight. Look he's just a kid who is a dreamer, a lot of us used to dream about these cars in school. He just started with a lie and it snowballed out of hand.

[Dan in Pasadena]

Sand_man, Thanks for the link....I think! Oh well. As Roseanne Roseannadanna always says, "It's always something"

[dhoward]

I'm a moron.

[legion]

Didn't he also reneg on a deal to sell some wheels?

Did he really ever have the wheels?

Kinda sounds like the 911 forums version of Alina...with better spelling/grammar.

[Z-man]

The Oscar, Emmy, and the Country Music Awards all go to Alina, my dear and near 944 friend.

As Alina would say...
My n/a 944 Porsche is so fastest. Much fastest than your turbo has. Why no one listening to me and I asking only good question to get answers to my problems of much. You stupid Muher Fokkers, especially you Z-man idiot... AJAJAJAJAJA!!

I lost count, but I believe she's been banned at least 6 times here, and at least twice on Rennlist.

-Z-man.

[red-beard]

What if Alina and Alfred had a child?

[Z-man]

Originally posted by red-beard
What if Alina and Alfred had a child?

Anti-Christ.

[JimCulp]

The only thing that bothers me about this thread is that the guy cannot defend himself because he's banned.