i need a polite exit strategy for religious visitors

[vash]

ok, i dont ever want to be mean to people peddling their religion, but lately both JW's, and Mormons have taken to my neighborhood. everyday i pull a pamplet or flyer off my doornob. then later my doorbell will ring. how do you guys bow out?

[stevepaa]

Easy. I just tell them we are Catholics and not interested in a polite voice.

[kach22i]

How would you look in a turbin and a long beard?

Edit............and a robe, don't forget the robe.

[masraum]

Just tell them to have a nice day and close the door.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

I find a loudly voiced "F*CK OFF!!!" works wonders. Releasing the German Shephard or pulling out Mr.-10-gauge from behind the door work pretty well too. Such people deserve no less, IMO.

For the less aggressive, simply slam the door. Preferably hard.

[Rot 911]

I answer the door naked.

[Flatbutt1]

don't answer the door

[Mr_Wizard]

Had the same problem when I lived in a town house sub division. I posted a no solicitation sign, and the first time my doorbell rang I polietly pointed out the sign and closed the door. The next day the doorbell rang again, i again pointed out the sign but then called the cops. Cops showed up and ushered them out of the neighborhood.

[nostatic]

I tell them I'm a Taoist. That usually confuses them.

Or say that you can't talk until after they perform oral sex on you. Part of your religious beliefs...

[Don Ro]

This is what I did on the last occasion of their ringing/knocking on my door and rudely crashing into my mood:
.
Ding, ding, ding...Knock, knock, knock...
.
Them: "Hello Sir, ........ blah, blah, blah......"
.
Me: (Interrupting after a bit) "You boys failed to ask me the one key question."
.
Them: "What is that, sir."
.
Me: "Sir, do you have time to listen to us?"
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Them: "OK, sir. Do you have time to listen to us?"
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Me: "No."
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Them: (Faces showing anger) "Have a good day, sir."
.
Me: Slam!

[JavaBrewer]

I have no problem being direct with the JW's. A curt "Not interested" while they are in mid sentence is normal for me. The Mormons on the other hand are typically a couple teen-age kids on their LDS Mission. They have it pretty rough so I cut them more slack. My wife (ex LDS) will give them cookies. Guess that's why they keep coming back...

[juanbenae]

Originally posted by Kurt V
I answer the door naked.

i did that once very hungover on a weekend. i had my AM wood and all, as i was woken by the bell. i looked through the peep hole and saw two hot chicks, so i flung the door open. i was standing there with a piss boner, buck ace naked and invited them in. they beat a quick retreat as i deflated.

[Drago]

Originally posted by vash
ok, i dont ever want to be mean to people peddling their religion, but lately both JW's, and Mormons have taken to my neighborhood. everyday i pull a pamplet or flyer off my doornob. then later my doorbell will ring. how do you guys bow out?

Since when does JW go door to door soliciting religion?!?!

OH...you mean the guys in the robes.

JWalker only wears jeans, sweat shirts and work boots as far as I can tell.

Just answer the door w/ a loaded pistol in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other...problem solved!

[Drago]

Originally posted by k911sc
i did that once very hungover on a weekend. i had my AM wood and all, as i was woken by the bell. i looked through the peep hole and saw two hot chicks, so i flung the door open. i was standing there with a piss boner, buck ace naked and invited them in. they beat a quick retreat as i deflated.

I'm pretty sure we could all use a little less detail, thanks.

[pbs911]

Tell them you would really like to have a long talk, but you don't have the time right then and you don't live there. Tell them your homeless. Then ask for their home address and phone number so you can stop by their house.

[svandamme]

i once invited in some jehova's, offered them a drink and some food
they were confused, but politely accepted

then i rummaged in the kitchen,
came out with a bottle of scotch and 3 glasses

poored 3 glasses , stuffed each a glass in their hands
stood up , and toasted on the sanctity of the Scotch, shotgunned the glas and apologized for the food, told em it would be another 15 minutes for the roast beef to be ready ...

then i broke down in a laughin stupor...
by the time i came out of it , they were gone



they must have a black list or something, i never, ever saw any of them again... works like a charm

[ChrisBennet]

I just tell them "I'm a goat." Have a nice day." (I used to go door to door as a child JW.)
-Chris

[BlueSkyJaunte]

I show them my tattoo

[Eric 951]

I just stare at them without saying anything. No replies to their questions, no remarks of my own--nothing--just standing and staring--it usually takes 2-5 minutes untill it starts to bug them out and they leave. Same thing works with panhandlers.

[Oh Haha]

I uesed to have a group of JW's come by my old house just about every Saturday. Well, I had long hair back then and played in the rock band.

I saw them coming up one day and quickly threw in some Iron Maiden and cranked it up. They never came back. I kinda felt bad............for about 5 minutes. If I am interested in your religion, I will come to your church, synagogue, commune, whatever. Otherwise, leave me alone.