I'll say a prayer for him. Many times when I am doing windshield time I think of the folks out there that are helping others and those that are having fun but also those that are experiencing really tough times.

At any given time someone somewhere is doing something great or distructive or criminal or saintly. Praying for the ones in pain doesn't hurt and sometimes it seems like it is the only think some of us can do for so many.

As long as he knows you won't give up on him and he has you by his side he will do it. It will be hell and he may get back to the bottle but at some point (maybe it is now) he will change his out look and start his life over. More than one drunk has done it.

Remember, if one man has done it another can do it. Good luck brother.

i'll say a prayer for him, too, grady..i have someone to call upon for 'all hope gone..11th-hour miracles'. worked for me to my surprise just last week..
rytan

One thing on street drugs and local testing -

some of the harder stuff (Cocaine for instance) gets out within 3 days - Pot stays longer..

Hope that's not the case..

rjp

grady..any updates?
ryan

UPDATE

NV is still in jail. He is slightly pissed at me for not putting up his $300 bail. I passed his request on to his mom and step-dad. They have been burned so many times they aren’t willing to help at all. “Let him sink” is the quote.

I think I interpret his desperation to get out of jail is to get something to drink. Of course I suspect that is also a fairly disagreeable place, except he has expresses willingness for jail over the “street”.

His Parole Officer is willing to seriously work with me to find some solution. She is somewhat hampered because most of the (police) reports don’t indicate alcohol abuse. [Don’t cops have breathalyzers?] This may be the best bet.

With all this snow, I’m paying for his empty room so his ID, court papers and few belongings don’t disappear. He has a Jan. 4 court appearance. If I can, I’ll try and find some alcohol/drug plan. If the snow quits, I get his stuff and not pay for an empty room.

I really agree with some above posts about if he is limited from alcohol he doesn’t get involved with street drugs, Thanks for educating me.

I really appreciate all the help from the Forum. You are keeping me inspired. I can see it is easy to quit in the face of whatever. THANK YOU ALL.

Best,
Grady

Cruel as this sounds, Grady, a few days high-n-dry in jail might prove beneficial. Hard as it is, maybe this is the final step that lets him turn a different direction. Don't post his bail. Let him dry out, especially as New Years is coming - there will be alcohol everywhere along with the sense of drinking for fun, for companionship and once again breaking his own resolutions (such as they are).

Hang in there Grady. This is going to prove to be one of the hardest things you have ever done in your life.

angela

Yep, hang in there Grady! It's still a long shot (and you knew that going in), but if anyone can turn NV around, I'm betting on you...

I was thinking about your ex-foster kid the other day, any updates?

+1

I noticed from another post that you are planning to spend some time in Ft. Collins (?). Is this trip related to your efforts with your foster son?

Hate to be the thread archaeologist, but what ever happened here?

Yes, I'm curious as well. Hope all is getting better.

I hadn't forgot about this thread either and Grady's generous effort to assist. I'd sort of assumed that things didn't progress very well in spite of his efforts....I sure hope I'm wrong.

Grady-

Read your post and I humbly suggest you look into Alanon and/or ACA (adult children of alcoholics).

I grew up in a tough, disfunctional situation with lots of drugs and alcohol. I started going to ACA in college and it changed my life as it taught me how to deal with people I loved who were seriously messed up on drugs and alcohol.

I wish you and your foster son the best.

dale