Not a girlfriend, but a girl in my high school BIO class:

Teacher: ...semen has a lot of glucose in it...
student: What's glucose?
Teacher: Type of sugar....
TheGirl: ::raises hand::
Teacher: Yea?
TheGirl: Then why does it taste salty?

When I was 33, I had the choice between dating a 23 yr old, girl next door and fairly normal type and quite cute or a 37 yr old, super hot freaky engineer (and I do mean hot!!!).

I had dated the engineer and broke up with her 3 times in 7 weeks, cause she was a freak (5 yrs of therapy and a Paxil prescription, still not helping). Then she stalked me! Then I met the 23rd yr old, and about the same time was dating a nurse and then started seeing the engineer again (the sex with the freak was actually quite thrilling!). Anyway I eventually had to decide on which one to stick with.

I went out with the 23 yr old.

The engineer was friends with the wife of one of my co-workers. He over heard: "Why would he want to go out with a 23 year old?"

This one actually made me laugh out loud. Like it's some kind of video game or something...

Yeah. I still like their music. I wouldn't mind chilling to them in an altered state of mind again. I'm over their following.

When I went to my last Phish concert in 2000, it was very clear to me that I had no tolerance for the self-absorbed, pseudo-intellectual, elitist, from well-to-do parents but pretending to be poor college crowd that attends their concerts. Strangely, I have little tolerance for the same element here. ;)

The concert itself? ;) J/K

Reminds me of a similar joke: what did one Dead-head say to the other when they ran out of pot?









"Man, this music sucks" SmileWavy

Bimbo once said:

"No matter where you go, it's always something!"

There's no one on this board like that is there?

I was that. I grew up. I got a job. I learned to appreciate earning the things I have. I no longer think that everything is a conspiracy by 'the man'.

Was in Michigan driving down the street... ex-girlfriend sees a street sign for Oregon St. She points at it excitedly and says "that street goes to Oregon!" and she was serious...

OT, but along the Phish theme. A bumper sticker I saw on a lifted up Suburban that made me laugh(BTW I like the Dead and Phish)
Jerrys Dead
Phish Sucks
Get a Job

made me laugh my as* off. Once had a girl who asked me in Tahoe if that was Russian Roulette they were playing.

Had a GF ask me 'if you could sleep with either my two sisters, which one would you have sex with?'

Now mind you it is not a dumb question per se but requires thought. I said I wouldn't have sex with either (maybe I should have said neither) to wit she said very upset "You want to have sex with them both!"

I should have told her I really just wanted to bang her mom. The relationship was doomed to fail...

My GF and I were in a kayak in Hawaii. I told her that some guy had paddled a kayak from LA to Hawaii recently.... She asked...'How did did he find Hawaii...follow the coast"? Still laugh about that.

Wouldn't it have been easier to just pay $10 to have your car washed at a car wash?

to quote one of your MIT bretheren:

"Lose lose"

My x-gfriend bet me that Thanksgiving was on the 23rd of November every year...she was 22 years old at the time so I was glad I could finally clear that up for her.

Same chick also had an idiot light that went off on the dashboard in her car. She looked it up in the manual and found out that it was the "Tire Air Pressure Low" warning light.
She asked me what that meant. I explained to her that it meant her "Tire Air Pressure" was "Low" and she should fill them up...A few days later she drove 150 miles south so her dad could fill them up for her.

My x-gfriend bet me....

So, what did you guys wager?

Please keep this thread going!!!!!!!!

LMAO !!

I went pretty easy on her...she had to do my laundry for the next month or so.

Nice!

I walked in to my GF apt. and the lamp from the table was sitting on the floor by the door.
I said "What up with the lamp?"
"I'ts not working, I'm going to throw it away"
"Whata mean, not working?" As I unscrew the bulb and shake it. "The bulb is burnt out."
She looked at me and said "Bulb???"

Dumb as a fence post.