Dumb things girlfriends say

[Aerkuld]

I liked widebody911's comment in this thread...

Geminid meteor shower tonight/tomorrow

quote:
"A few years ago, I had this really dumb g/f.

Really dumb.

It's late summer, and I'm setting my alarm for 2:00am. She asks what I'm doing; I tell her I want to get up and watch the meteor shower. She asks why I don't just tape it.

I really wish I could make this stuff up"

This made me wonder what dumb things the rest of us have heard from girlfriends, friends, ourselves, etc.

I had a girlfriend once asked what time the 24hr gas station shut.
But my personal favorite was my buddies girlfriend who, seeing recycled toilet paper in the supermarket, asked -

"How do they get it out of the ocean?"

[Porsche-O-Phile]

And think - the genes of people like this are infiltrating the next generation. Scary.

I swear in a couple more generations we'll be back to screeching uncontrollably for no reason, flinging dung at one another and dragging our knuckles on the ground.

Those of us that don't already, I mean.

[Nostril Cheese]

Knew a girl who thought her car was made by British Motor Works.

[arcsine]

"Who's James Brown?"

[johnco]

long, long ago, taking my then girlfriend somewhere she asked how long would it take to get there.. 15 minutes I say.. she then asks... how long will it take to get back?

[SlowToady]

.

[CJFusco]

I had an ex-girlfriend that used to barely tolerate my pro-Red Sox, anti-Yankee rants. One day she concedes to sit down with me and watch a game (this would have been maybe 2002 or so). Halfway through the game, Red Sox batting, Derek Jeter had just thrown out a batter at first to record the 2nd out of the inning:

"Wow, that Derek Jeter guy really is a jerk."

I tell her that I don't disagree with her, but I ask her what makes her say that.

"After he threw out that batter, he made the 'devil horns' sign with his fingers to all the other players."

I laughed for about 15 minutes before I could explain to her why.

[red-beard]

My ex-wife used to like to mix metaphors

“I don’t give 2 $hits to the wind”

[Rick V]

My wife called me at the house (on the house phone, not the cell) and asked me where I was.

[StevoRocket]

My wife and I were talking about watching meteors in a few days time - there was a crescent moon in the sky - she said I know why its a crescent - why? I said...

Because the earth is casting its shadow on the moon......

[75'930cab]

Who's Poison? (The Band)

[Flatbutt1]

took a g/f to her first soccer match years ago, she asked "how many quarters in a soccer game?"

[Aerkuld]

Originally posted by red-beard
My ex-wife used to like to mix metaphors

“I don’t give 2 $hits to the wind”

I used to work with a Polish guy who did that. We were never quite sure whether he was doing it on purpose to be funny, or not...

" You've spilt the milk after the horse has bolted"

"I'll keep my eye on the grapevine"

...stuff like that, really funny - but I guess you had to be there.

[legion]

Not a former girlfriend, but a woman who I used to sit over the wall from:

She would say "otay" instead of "okay". She wouldn't say it like Eddie Murphy either, she'd say it exactly like one would say "okay". She's an attractive, skinny blond, maybe 35, but I found her personality absolutely revolting. She talked far too loud on her phone. I had to involuntarily hear her discussing pap smear results with her doctor more than once.

[red-beard]

Maybe she used to watch "Little Rascals" as a kid.

Oh, and if at 35 she's discussing abnormal pap smears, she most likely has HPV. Use a condom.

[widebody911]

More quotes from the same g/f

While watching Pearl Harbor (in the theater):
"Who's the guy in the wheel chair?"
"Why are the Japanese bombing them?"
"When did this happen?"
"If your plane touches the water, do you automatically die?"

One morning I got up before she did and took a long hot shower. She got up and was going to take a shower, but I told her "I don't think there's any hot water left..."
"That's OK, I'll use the other bathroom"

Then there was the time she called me at work from a car dealership. She wanted to buy a sporty new (blah) but was upside-down on her current POS, for which she had paid way to much. "But they said they'd pay off my current car, no matter how much I owed..."

This girl was 23, and already $35k in debt between the car and credit cards. Dumb as a box of rox, but she had other qualities which made our short relationship bearable...

[Tyson Schmidt]

"What does ignorant mean"?

O.K., we were in 8th grade, but still. It was in front of the whole class. The entire class was laughing out loud for like 2 minutes.

[widebody911]

I had a chick at my work ask me to write a regex to grab all of the "capital zeros" in a file...

[legion]

I was wearing a Phish t-shirt at a frat party in college (never was in a frat), and some girl pointed at my shirt and asked me: "What frat is that?"

[legion]

Two drum circles at a Phish concert?