"Man-Card" Violations

[Dan in Pasadena]

The thread on using the cheapo tools that come with your kids toys at Christmas got me thinking of this subject. In no particular order:

Asking,"Does this (article of clothing) makes me look (fill in the blank)..." - INSTANT man-card revocation!

Using pliers or a "Cresecent" wrench (adjustable wrench) for ALL fasteners? Man-card violation.....UNLESS, you're stranded somewhere with no tools, only a pair of pliers and you nearly rebuild your V-12 and limp home because of them? ManCard Cititation of Merit with Oak Leaf Cluster!

Dying your hair? Man card violation... though an understandable one if you're doing it to chase younger tail

Dying your mustache, goatee or God Forbid, your thatch?...Man Card Revocation

There are LOTS of these. Anyone care to contribute?

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Using the word "fabulous" with any emphasis whatsoever on the "ab" syllable.

Turning off football to watch ice dancing or synchronized swimming (unless of course there's a particularly hot chick there you can point to in order to claim, "I wanted to see her ass")

Driving a Miata.

Using the word "cute" as a "filler" word (like women do) when you can't think of a suitable adjective to describe a particular object or situation.

Being seen in public with a baby stroller.

Being seen by a fellow man buying any of the following:
- tampons
- EPT
- KY
- Vagisil

Using any of the following phrases while spotting for a fellow man at the gym:
- "Yea, keep pushing"
- "Harder, harder, harder!!!"
- "That's it! One more and we can hit the showers!"

- Referring to anything your put on your skin or body or hair as "product".

- Using a blow-dryer (open convertable tops or the exhaust from jet engines excepted).

[Dan in Pasadena]

Agreed.

Add to the list of unacceptable words for men (hell, one of the main reasons I love my girlfriend? She's the ONLY woman I've ever known that NEVER uses the words: Cute, Fabulous, or Darling

Wearing ANY T-Shirt that says, "I'm with Stupid" (or some such)

Minor ManCard Violation? - Wearing the old short "hot pants" era basketball shorts.

Wearing your T shirts until they're as thin as a Colman lantern mantle.

Related man card style violation? Wearing dark socks with shorts...c'mon guys!

Wearing Velcro tennis shoes; but minimally acceptable ONLY if your children are over 40 and you've got horrendous arthritis of the hands...then it gets a Man-nod of acknowledgement for trying!

Tucking in your Hawaiian shirts.

[ERAU944]

Originally posted by Porsche-O-Phile

Driving a Miata.

obviously you've never REALLY driven one.

next time i drive it, i'll wear my pink shirt, just for you. that little comment screams 'i'm insecure'



i did like the jet exhaust hair dryer idea... next time it rains while i'm at work, i'll give it a try... while wearing a pink shirt and driving my miata.

[Dan in Pasadena]

I don't know...Jeff, whatdya think? Mike reacting defensively to a stated man-card violation? Isn't THAT a violation in itself?

[SlowToady]

There are LOTS of these. Anyone care to contribute?

Sure.

Doing dishes. That's womans job.
Cooking dinner. Also a womans job.
Putting kids in "time-out." Hell, just give em a good smack, that's what dads are for.
Being controlled by a woman. Sorry, babe, but we make the rules. Mans world and all that.

What's wrong with being seen buying KY Lube? You know where that's going....

[nostatic]

Originally posted by Dan in Pasadena


Tucking in your Hawaiian shirts.

when your smokin' hot 33 year old Hawaiian girl date asks you to, then lip locks appropriately afterwards...

no violation

[ERAU944]

ah well, i suppose i should probably post a 'man card' violation myself...

how about wearing sandals with socks

my father does this all the time - drives me NUTS!!!

additionally to the hair dying - bleaching or highlighting? give me a break!

[Dan in Pasadena]

Real men wash their own dishes, make their own food...unless they're momma's boys and can't feed themselves with out the help of a woman!

As for tucking in Hawaiian shirts? Uh...I gotta go with no.....no matter what, but YMMV and getting laid tends to trump ALMOST all the rules....but I think it ranks with the sandals & socks, dark socks w/ shorts, velcro tennies and worn nearly through T shirts...especially if you've got ANY sort of belly.

EDIT: Dying your hair is dying your hair...talk about "women's work?" If bleaching and highlighting ain't gay I don't know what is. You're a man, not a peacock. Again, the "laid consideration" alters many rules, but personally if my woman wanted me to do that I'd look elsewhere...but that's just me. Whatever works for 'ya...Bruce.

[nostatic]

i have no belly. And if you saw her, you'd say yes too

[Dan in Pasadena]

Like I said, YMMV.....mine might too for the right woman!

[pwd72s]

Fixing something using a leatherman tool gets you out of a man card violation. Even wearing a hawaiian shirt (They don't have tails for a reason) tucked in...

[tabs]

Owning a yipping Chihua

[Dan in Pasadena]

I'd (quite reluctantly) own a little herd of Chihuahua's before I'd own a Poodle, Shih Tsu or a Pomeranian.

[svandamme]

Being seen in public with a baby stroller.

never got more instant chick magnetisem then the time i was out with my 24 year younger sister in the stroller... i'de try and stuff here back in that thing, but at 7 she's starting to fight back
'nough said.

[island_dude]

For some reason pushing a stroller somehow makes you seem "sensitive" . Its incredible how many babes gather round. I also recall that shortly after I got married and the ring showed up on my finger, lots of babes started coming over to talk. These are the same ones who would cross to the other side of a room when I walked in before. I guess the act of another woman marking territory brings out the competitive spirit.

[azasadny]

Calling a room a "space" qualifies...

[ZOO]

Driving a Miata.

Ouch. At least I don't feel like I need to compensate for any shortcoming -- unlike some who view what one drives as an extension of their sexuality.

Of course I'm buying a Corvette, too.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

It's permitted in an architectural design review, however.

I just put the Miata thing in to stir the pot a little - just kiddin'. I actually would LOVE to get my hands on one of the '04 Turbo ones but they're rather hard to find. FWIW a "friend" of mine referred to my M.B. as a "gay hairdresser's car". Still haven't forgiven him for that!

+1 on the yap-yap dog comment. Puppies excepted (any breed), especially when used for "chick magnet" effect. A former roommate of mine did this at spring break in Key West years ago with his Alaskan Malamute pup and OMFG I never could have imagined how many babes it brought over. Unfortunately most of them had their boyfriends with 'em and it drew more than a few gay/bi-curious males as well (Key West is a weird place) but it was still interesting.

No. Ball. Slings. E-V-E-R.

Ordering a quiche or creme brulee or chocolate mousse.

Crying in public, unless it's for the death of a parent or the burning down of one's favorite bar/tavern.

[onewhippedpuppy]

The Miata rule must be ammended. Miatas with over 300 HP or a V8 are acceptable.


Drinking wine coolers or fruity drinks.
Having more clothes than your significant other.
Having more shoes than your significant other.
Dancing (unless it's with a woman with the intent to get in her pants).
Not owning tools.
Watching "America's Next Top Model".
Not owning guns. Partial exemption for thinking guns are cool, or if illegal in your area.
Not liking cars, boats, planes or anything else that makes noise and goes fast.
Not liking beer.