foreign adoption?

[nostatic]

Anyone here adopt from a foreign country? The prospect of going through the pregnancy and baby thing again strikes fear into my heart, but for some reason, the thought of adopting an older (say 2-5 year old) Chinese girl seems appealing. Of course all dependent on how things play out (and I gotta figure out what insane part of me is coming to the fore on this one), but I was wondering if anyone here had adopted from a foreign country. An ex girl friend of mine from college just adopted from Kazhakstan, and it was interesting to say the least...

[jyl]

I know some people who have adopted Chinese girls. Seems to be pretty common. I took my daughter to a Saturday Chinese class and most of the other kids were Chinese girls with white parents.

[nostatic]

The other weekend at the park there were 5 or 6 young Chinese girls (all about 3 or 4 years old) with anglo parents. My guess is that they all either used the same agency or had a local support group. The kids seemed totally happy. Due to the Chinese social policies, it is really common for girl newborns to be abandonded and then raised in orphanages or foster homes. In '92 China opened an official agency to allow adoptions to other countries. Pretty interesting story...

[dd74]

One year in Hawaii, we met a couple from NY who were just coming back from China with their adopted baby. They essentially said the adoption was not at all easy to accomplish. There was a tremendous amount of government red tape to get through, and lots of waiting, false starts, and times when they thought they'd never see the baby, or that there was no baby at all, and they were simply given the shaft. The ordeal sounded very difficult, but they did get a baby. I could see the results splashing around in the kiddie pool in Maui.

I have a feeling, however, that someone may ask you this on this thread, so I may as well be the goat:

Why not an American kid?

[nostatic]

because I'm Chinese on the inside

Like I said, I'm not sure what all is in play wrt this. But there is something to be said about the cross-cultural issues. And if it were in my current situation, my s/o is a native speaker with Chinese roots.

This is totally just "out there" thinking...wild arse wondering.

[dd74]

That's cool. Just curious.

Hey, when did the g/f become the s/o? That all happened pdq...

[nostatic]

its a fluid situation

[red-beard]

What in the heck are you thinking? If you want another one, PLANT ONE!

There is nothing like...fresh...

[Jim Richards]

Originally posted by nostatic
its a fluid situation

Hey, nostatic, let's keep the discussion of fluids out of this. Do you want Z-man to censure you?

BTW, how does the g/f...s/o...etc. feel about adoption?

[jyl]

Is this the same g/f-s/o you hired a coyote to kill?

[jyl]

If you get serious about it, I'll put you in touch w/ some folks. For now, know it can be done, can take a year.

[cashflyer]

I, too, was hoping to adopt a Chinese girl.
If you find a cute one who's over 18 ....

[jyl]

Originally posted by dd74
Why not an American kid?

Not speaking for Todd but it were me, I'd be thinking about -

- Not born damaged to drug users

- No birth parent complications to deal with

- Easier for white parents to raise an Asian child than a black child

- And of course you get those superior Chinese genes :-)

[masraum]

I've got a buddy who adopted a boy from China and a guy that I work with has adopted 2 Korean boys.

[imcarthur]

My brother-in-law adopted a boy from the Ukraine 2 years ago. Not easy & not cheap. 2 extended trips, medical exams at both ends, out-right bribes to judges & gov't officials,'gifts' to ophanages etc etc. He never gave us a final figure but at 1/2 way they had spent $50K.

There are net based support groups that can help talk you through it or out of it. Ultimately, you will need a North American agency that can help you deal with the mountains of paperwork.

That said, the little guy is cute & intelligent & doing very well.

Ian

[Super_Dave_D]

Originally posted by jyl
- Not born damaged to drug users

What no drug problem in China? I didnt know!!!

[jyl]

Chinese girl babies primarily given up due to one-child policy, family wants a boy instead. Mother being substance abuser not often the cause. Compare to US.

[coloradoporsche]

Hello,

My wife and I adopted a boy from Korea about a year ago. The experience has been phenomenal. My only regret is that I didn't open up to the idea sooner. We couldn’t be happier with any child, biological or otherwise.

FYI, total costs for agency and government fees (without travel to Asia, which we did not need to do) was ~$15K. Total process took about 1.5 years from the day we walked into the agency to the day our baby was handed to us. If you are willing to accept a special needs child the time is much shorter.

The advantage of foreign adoption is that it’s a “sure thing”. We have several friends who had absolutely heartbreaking experiences with domestic adoption (i.e. the child was taken away and given back to the biological parents/relatives).

And before everybody gets up on their high horse about how badly girls are treated in China….

Interestingly, the "list" (waiting line) for children is much shorter for boys from China and Korea than for girls. Why? Because of simple supply and demand...most white folk in the US find Asian girls more appealing children than Asian boys. So, yes, there are factors that lead to unwanted Chinese girls in Asian countries, but we have our own prejudices here that lead to a surplus of Asian boys that need good parents, too.

Feel free to PM me any time about adoption.

Regards

[coloradoporsche]

My brother-in-law adopted a boy from the Ukraine 2 years ago. Not easy & not cheap. 2 extended trips, medical exams at both ends, out-right bribes to judges & gov't officials,'gifts' to ophanages etc etc. He never gave us a final figure but at 1/2 way they had spent $50K.

Healthy white infants do command a premium, if that's what's important to you.

The disadvantage of Eastern block countries is the information (medical, otherwise) has a reputation for being less reliable than China and Korea.

Just my .02.

[techweenie]

Originally posted by nostatic
Anyone here adopt from a foreign country? The prospect of going through the pregnancy and baby thing again strikes fear into my heart, but for some reason, the thought of adopting an older (say 2-5 year old) Chinese girl seems appealing. Of course all dependent on how things play out (and I gotta figure out what insane part of me is coming to the fore on this one), but I was wondering if anyone here had adopted from a foreign country. An ex girl friend of mine from college just adopted from Kazhakstan, and it was interesting to say the least...

An ex- GF of mine adopted a 7 and a 5 year-old from Russia two years ago. I spend a fair amount of time with them, and they are indistinguishable from American kids. Yes, the older one still remembers her father and her mom is trying to get her to maintain her native language.

The orphanage they came from was dirt poor, but very loving and the kids are not the slightest bit screwed up.

This is the big risk with adopting kids over 5 or 6. But older kids risk spending the rest of their childhood in the orphanage.

It's a good thing to do, but expensive and not without risk. If you want to chat with my ex- about it, let me know. She was originally wanting to adopt from China, but Russia seemed to have less of an adoption racket going on. I think it was less than $20K for both kids.