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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Magnolia State
Posts: 7,548
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I'm at a loss...especially when she seems suprised at my anger over the inconsideration. She truly feels she has nothing to apologize for....she has apologized but it is insincere, Last edited by Dueller; 04-30-2007 at 02:06 PM.. |
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04-30-2007, 02:04 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: I'm out there.
Posts: 13,084
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Mike, you're a poet! I'm pretty sure I'm no angel, but my wife is pretty close. She's the kindest woman I've ever met. She is unselfish, honest and loving. If I tell my wife I'll be home in an hour, I'll be home in an hour.
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My work here is nearly finished.
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04-30-2007, 02:06 PM
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Location: I'm out there.
Posts: 13,084
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Your marriage is supposed to be that safe, wonderful place where you escape these kind of torments.
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My work here is nearly finished.
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04-30-2007, 02:10 PM
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Binge User
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I had a very similar experience in my first marriage. I never doubted her fidelity until I got Chlamydia.
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Paul |
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04-30-2007, 02:13 PM
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Location: Magnolia State
Posts: 7,548
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Thanks for the counsel, Doc M. I guess at this juncture I just need to disengage for a while and revisit it later. Perhaps I am overreacting to a miscommunication. I don't think what she does is intentional...subconcious maybe, but not intended to be inconsiderate.
Oh well...thanks all |
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04-30-2007, 02:17 PM
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B58/732
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Hot as Hell, AZ
Posts: 12,313
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ONCE.
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ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ I don't always talk to vegetarians--but when I do, it's with a mouthful of bacon. |
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04-30-2007, 02:18 PM
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Location: Magnolia State
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Nuttin'. You already told her twice 
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04-30-2007, 02:22 PM
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you didn't click my link, did you? Best of luck...you're going to need it. Denial is a beautiful thing... |
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04-30-2007, 02:26 PM
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B58/732
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Hot as Hell, AZ
Posts: 12,313
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Nope. We had a good sit-down talking to (after I got some Dramamine in her to stop her from puking).
I think she truly just "didn't understand" and on top of it her "friends" were enabling that night's behavior. Never had a repeat since.
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ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ I don't always talk to vegetarians--but when I do, it's with a mouthful of bacon. |
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04-30-2007, 02:26 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Magnolia State
Posts: 7,548
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Denial...isn't that a river in Egypt?  As angry as I am about her transgresssion, I'm perhaps more angry with the fact she doesn't "get it". Or atleast she is just paying lip service to my concerns so as to not provoke my "anger or control issues." Last edited by Dueller; 04-30-2007 at 02:40 PM.. |
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04-30-2007, 02:35 PM
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Slackerous Maximus
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 18,196
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I would be disturbed if this happend repeatedly. I have done this to my wife on rare occasion, and she quiet rightly raised holy hell.
Its inconsiderate.
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2022 Royal Enfield Interceptor. 2012 Harley Davidson Road King 2014 Triumph Bonneville T100. 2014 Cayman S, PDK. Mercedes E350 family truckster. |
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04-30-2007, 02:40 PM
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Location: Magnolia State
Posts: 7,548
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OK guys...you've had the big blow out fight. Nothing has really been resolved. What now when I go home tonite? Leave it alone?
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04-30-2007, 02:43 PM
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well, if she doesn't get it then she won't do anything about it. First step is admiting that you have a problem. 5 times in 9 months? To me that is a pretty serious issue. Were I in your shoes, I would put my foot down and head straight to couples counseling.
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04-30-2007, 02:43 PM
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Back in the saddle again
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Central TX west of Houston
Posts: 56,197
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No change, she needs to learn. Some folks don't get it. If she can learn then fine, but if she doesn't/won't, then that's a problem.
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Steve '08 Boxster RS60 Spyder #0099/1960 - never named a car before, but this is Charlotte. '88 targa  SOLD 2004 - gone but not forgotten
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04-30-2007, 02:44 PM
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Insane Dutchman
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From my point of view, with only about 30 years with the same woman.....is there any chance that she just did a stupid thing, while under the influence, while with a bunch of party people and now she can't step down from her ego enough to say that she messed up.
I think if you see a pattern over the next while, maybe there is an issue, there is no real detail as to how well the two of you are getting along. What would I do? The heat is over, make your point something like - "Hon, I love you a lot, I care for you and when you told me that you were right behind me and then didn't show up or call, I was worried there was a problem or you might be hurt. You scared the ***** out of me and I think it'd be good if we found a way so that we can keep that from happening again...can we work on it together?" Yeah it sounds sucky, but maybe taking the "I'm right/you're wrong" out of it might be more productive. But then what do I know....30 years, one woman...still in love. Find a way to let her out of the corner she got herself into...and then discuss it. Dennis
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1975 911S with Kremer 3.2 1989 911 Carrera Project Car |
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04-30-2007, 02:57 PM
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JOT MON ABBR OTH
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 3,238
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Get with your religious counselor or a shrink. The one who stayed and left the other waiting has ZERO respect for either party. Oh, it just gets worse. Look at my ex.
Oh, and the infidelity comes sooner than later if this is not addressed. Total lack of respect.
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David '83 SC Targa (sold ) MANLY babyblue honda '00 F250 7.3L (MINE!)'15 F250 Gas (Her Baby) '95 993 (sold )I don't take scalps. I'm civilized like white man now, I shoot man in back. |
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04-30-2007, 03:12 PM
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Double Trouble
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: North of Pittsburgh
Posts: 11,705
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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey..........but I turned myself around.. 75 914 1.8 2010 Cayenne base |
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04-30-2007, 03:46 PM
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Insane Dutchman
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1975 911S with Kremer 3.2 1989 911 Carrera Project Car |
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04-30-2007, 03:54 PM
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Registered
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Linn County, Oregon
Posts: 48,565
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Dueller? Perhaps you need an honest talk with yourself about your relationship with booze...
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"Now, to put a water-cooled engine in the rear and to have a radiator in the front, that's not very intelligent." -Ferry Porsche (PANO, Oct. '73) (I, Paul D. have loved this quote since 1973. It will remain as long as I post here.) |
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04-30-2007, 05:21 PM
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self awareness is pretty painful. most people avoid it like the plague... |
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04-30-2007, 05:28 PM
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Schatzi
Schatzi
1979 Porsche 911SC 3.0
1975 Porsche 911S Kremer 3.2
