With All This Death Talk, What Sort of Funeral Do You Want?

[M.D. Holloway]

I have standing orders with my Wife how I wish my death celebration would be.

Upon my expiration, I will be cremated. My ashes taken to the cliffs in Newport RI (the Cliff Walk near 40 steps is fine) and at 7PM, my ashes will be sent out to the ocean breeze over the cliffs. Because my wife will be overcome by emotion, I wish for my Brothers to do the honors. Bagpipes will be wailing and hopefully a gentle soft mist will be falling.

Nice words about my life will be shared by as many people who can remember anything decent. Any tall tales or hearty lies will be honored and accepted. In fact, the more outlandish the story and tale, the better.

All attending must wear white - no black. After all has been said, laughed, and cried the party will proceed to the Black Horse Tavern for and extended dinner and feast that my death insurance will take care of.

My Watch will go to my Son, my wedding band to my youngest Daughter. My Wife and figure out the rest with help from my Brothers.

How do you wish to be celebrated???

[Nostril Cheese]

viking style with naked virgins

[rouxroux]

Simple request...I wish to be cremated and my ashes strewn along the Nordschleife.

[Moneyguy1]

Interesting.


No funeral; no memorial services.....cremation and ashes strewn in my beloved desert.

[Kevin G.]

I'm another in the burn-me-up and toss me somewhere nice group.

Seriously, I want no one to feel they have to visit any particular site, or even mourn.

If you feel the need, hoist a homebrew and remember the good times.

[john70t]

The gub'ment doesn't allow the back yard, and $10,000 for a one-use wood box is a joke.

The death-racket is a scam. The state can claim and cremate me(face down of course).

[alf]

Burn me up and toss the ashes somewhere, flush it for all I care. Have a big party on my tab, say some good things and some bad just be truthful.

[masraum]

no funeral. bar-b-que me and scatter me somewhere. Have a party a few months down the road when folks can do it without getting too emotional.

[red-beard]

My ex-wife said to dump her in the street. A dead body is a health hazard and so someone will have to come get it.

[Aurel]

I heard that you can have your ashes made into a diamond. Like that, your young widow can wear you at the her finger, on top of inheriting all your goodies !

Here: http://www.lifegem.com/secondary/whatisLG2006.aspx

Aurel

[KNS]

Stuff me in a Hefty bag and take me to the nearest landfill

[Zeke]

I was given the duty of "burying" my father's ashes at sea, and years later, my mother's on land. This is emotional stuff that I don't want anyone to have to do. Cremate me and dispose.

If the survivors want to get together, that's fine. Won't make a modicum of difference to me. Lately, it seems more and more are skipping the funeral jazz and having a nice dinner, wake style.

Fill the pitchers with martinis. Drink the '84 Cab.

[mattdavis11]

I haven't decided whether or not to be burned and tossed. However, if I do get buried I want to be planted face down so all those people who really didn't like me can kiss my arse.

[aap1966]

What sort of funeral would I like?

Anything after 2070 would be fine.

[WolfeMacleod]

Funeral Pyre.

In the Highlands.

[craigster59]

Hunter S. Thompson already did the "cannon", so mine would be a casual gathering, Hawaiin attire required. Cocktails and volleyball @ 10 a.m.
After working up a good sweat, a bracing "skinny dip" for those so inclined, otherwise proceed straight to the "bumper cars". Drive around, bump and have fun,

Now we get serious, if you can't throw horseshoes or play ping pong, you might just as well head to the bar and grab a table early.

After Keith Richards (whose STILL alive at this time) performs a smokin'
set, ending with a great slide rendition of "Statesboro Blues" segues right into SRV's "Life Without You".

After that, everyone jumps into the 'Hot tub" and has fun.

Oh, wait a minute, about the ending? I want to be cremated.

Those ashes? YOU'RE SOAKING IN IT!!

[on2wheels52]

I had decided on cremation deal a few years ago, a bit suprised at the percentage here wanting it also. Tough to visualize what the attendees will be like in fifty years (I'll be 105 then). I've been to funerals of people in their late 80's/90's, about the only ones there is imediate family. Their friends are all dead.
Jim

[vash]

hawaiian shirts will be mandatory.

me --> ashes. whatever happens after that, who cares. maybe ziploc bag, dumped on a mountainside with lots of elk.

[speeder]

Tombstone that says:

"I told you I was sick! NOW do you fukcing believe me?!"

Cowboy boots sticking up through the ground optional, at family's discretion.

[rammstein]

Originally posted by WolfeMacleod
Funeral Pyre.

In the Highlands.

+1