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What is the point of MY life

Worked my butt off all the way through college. Spent time indoors studying when I could have been out doing something fun during my youth. Got an engineering job with a software company. Felt like it was a black hole of inefficiency and bull, so I quit. Got a job as a real estate rental agent. Found out that even the best struggle to make $40k/yr at that. Quit that and got a job in commercial real estate sales. I discovered that I am not very good at sales, because I can't handle lying and bull$hitting every day to people who have more money than god and don't even know what to do with it. I can't tell a person to buy or sell something just because it will make me a commission. I also don't have the advantage of a trust fund or a network of close family friends looking to invest millions into real estate, so I have to fight, claw, kill my way into even a pittance of money. So I quit that and now I am still in commercial real estate, but now I just work as an analyst for an agent who actually has business going on. The guy I work for goes on benders 2-3 times weekly and disappears for most of each week. He is a frickin loser, and with the contacts he has he should be making 3 times as much as he does. But he is younger than I am and has made more money in the last year than I have my entire life, so clearly as much as I loathe him he is doing something I am not.

I haven't made real money in 4 years since I quit the engineering job. I now have no car at all. Use my wife's car. Almost half of the money I am supposed to make is in the form of commission sharing, and I don't even trust that to come through.

I feel like all the way up to graduating college, I had a path, a plan. I had measurable successes that could be recounted in tough times. Since graduation day, I don't think I have accomplished a thing. I don't know what the hell to do, I can't very well go make a drastic decision, because every time I do that it seems I make an even worse situation than the one before. I tried to find another job a few months back, but my resume shows WAY too many jobs in the last 4 years, and employers are rightly put off by this. If I could get a job as an analyst at a REAL company for a REAL broker, I could be making very good money. But it looks like I will have to wait a few years. Nothing like wasting 3 years, or 5% of your life!

I really find myself wanting to go out and dig ditches or something. Maybe I should join the military and at least have a frickin job to do every morning, and know where my life is going.

I guess its at times like this I wish I had religion, so I could have a 'Purpose Driven Life'. The problem is that I can't become religious simply out of convenience for myself. I would have to believe it, and I don't. I can't.

I know I have all of these things to be thankful for- wife, family, friends, good health. But none of that gives me a reason to get up in the morning to come in here for 8-10 hours and work for less than I value myself. I mean, just because things could be far worse doesn't give you a purpose, or piece of mind, does it?

Well, I can look forward to going home tonight and packing. My apartment has been converted to a condo, and they are booting us to make renovations. So I am moving to a worse apartment and don't even want to. Luckily, I am sure many bills will get screwed up and my credit rating will be shot to hell after I refuse to pay the incorrect bills, rather than just pay them and thank them for stealing from me. I am great at seeing into the future. The dark, meaningless future.
Old 05-29-2007, 11:04 AM
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Old 05-29-2007, 11:17 AM
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I wish I could give you some good job advice, but I can't. But I have been and presently am in a similar dead end job situation. One thing that has helped me is being able to say the same things you just wrote to a good listener, be that your wife or a good friend. Keeping things bottled up just adds to the darkness.
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Old 05-29-2007, 11:20 AM
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Old 05-29-2007, 11:21 AM
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That's really laying it all out there.

I was the same as you in college, but I picked a company to work for, and I've been there 7 years now. Fear of change has kept me where I am. That doesn't mean that I sometimes don't really desire to take a risk, but I make more money and live better than I could if I were to take time to "build" myself in another industry. We call it the "golden handcuffs" at work. So, I'm a code monkey. Sometimes I put up with a lot of inefficient BS, but at the end of the day I feel I am compensated enough to put up with it. I work to do the things I love. I don't know that I could ever find a job that I loved that would pay the bills. I decided to settle years ago. At one point I wanted to get an MBA from Kellog, but I gave up on that years ago.

I wish you the best. Maybe you can find something you really love. Maybe you can sell your sole like me for financial security.
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Old 05-29-2007, 11:21 AM
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Rammstein,

Keep your chin up! There are so many thing to look forward too. Oh by the way...I know about the engineering issues, bureaucrasy and the shi-tty collective partnership you supposedly had with your company...Been there done that nonsense..anyway-
IMHO - what do you enjoy doing?...are you the engineering type? Go after something you enjoy and forget about the money for now.. I think you just need a break and some time to think positive... I was getting like that and decided to buy my life long dream a Turbo Carrera..Now I'm happy and looking for ways to make money in the Porsche industry...

Just a thought...SMILE
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Old 05-29-2007, 11:23 AM
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Ouch bud, that is a tough post. I hope you are just venting some and felt a little better after posting it.

I was one fo the goof off types my first two years in college. Then I almost failed out and came close to enlisting in the Navy. It was a definite wake up call for me. When I started my junior year I buckled down and studied and graduated in 4 years. Granted, I have a bachelor of arts degree, so nothing like engineering.

I wanted to be a cop, so I applied for some cadet programs, and conitnued working at my college job (in a bar). I realized that my cop prospects weren't looking to bright, so I took a job working as basically a grunt for a mechanical contractor. I worked with the plumbers and did the dirty work, and everything the journeymen didn't want to do. I made a whopping $7.25 per hour. My girl friend (wife now) still had 2 years of school left, so staying in the same town as her made the plumbing work bearable. After 8 months of real work, I decided to try even harder to get into Law Enforcement. I really wish I would have had the manual job for a year prior to starting college. I will say that I have used the knowledge I got from that job waay more than anything I learned in college.

I moved to a big city, interviewed with a bunch of security companies and took a job as a Security Officer. I rented an apartment with a friend, and busted my ass, that while tiresome somtimes, wasn't nearly as hard as working for the mechanical contractor. I took OT as often as I could and got used to working all 3 shifts. There were months when I didn't even have a day off. Granted, I didn't have a family at the time, so that made it easier.

Long story short, not to bore you, but I am still with the same security company. Yes, we have been bought out etc., but I have steadily moved up by working hard over the past 10 years. I finally got the LE job offers, but was really happy with what I was doing and decided to turn them down. Not saying I wouldn't be just as happy now as a police officer, but I am very happy and doing well where I am now.

I guess all I am saying, is see if you can even get a lower level job at a "real" commerical real estate company. You sound very dedicated and have a good working ethic, and are hungry to work and be appreciated. The guy you work for now sounds like a loser and only cares about himself. It will eventually end up biting him in the ass.

Keep your head up.

Bill
Old 05-29-2007, 11:48 AM
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Hang in there, I've felt the same way before, things turn around you either by your own hand or someone elses just need to give them some time. In the meantime....

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of ****
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...
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Old 05-29-2007, 11:50 AM
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I believe I understand your position. Partly at least. I recognize several of your statements. I can not compare levels, but by principal I have had a similar feeling all my life. Well, at least up till a few weeks ago.

I have wonderful kids, a very stimulating occupation, my good health and...jada jadajada...

It did not help. I was lost in translation, as it were. Could not for my life figure out why I just didnīt feel happy and enjoying my day to day life. Had the same rhetoric thought on religion, but no cigar for the same reasons you state.

I think it is a very individual trait. I am seeker. I had not found what I was looking for - I had not a clue what to look for anyway. Up till a few weeks ago I had actually accepted the way I was.

Now, all of a sudden, luck has struck twice in a short time. I have found a wonderful house and just the other day I was surprised with a big promotion at work. Suddenly, things are looking so very much brighter.

I believe CHANGE is the key and that change can turn up around the next corner.

Good luck!
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Old 05-29-2007, 11:50 AM
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I am an engineer, MBA, and real estate broker. My career path has taken some strange turns to end up where I am now- and I'm probably due for a few more.

If you are in real estate for the money it will eat you up. Stay out of sales if you do not have the make up to do whatever it takes. The successful commercial realtors I know started when they were still living with mom & dad because the first few years are killers.

Update your skills- if you want to stay as an analyst, is there additional education or certification that will make you more marketable? Talk to those doing what you want, and see how they got there.

Perhaps you are more results oriented and need to go back to engineering or something similar? If you've got a passion, go there.

Get out and network with the people you want to be around and work with. If you can't stand those with more money than brains, move on. Sounds like you have a low tolerance for BS, so stay away from it.

Sounds like you need to make a change. Best of luck to you.
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Old 05-29-2007, 12:26 PM
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I like Legion's points about "golden handcuffs". I sold my soul too, but I think I got a fair price. You don't necessarily need to find happiness and meaning in your work, as long as it gives you the comfort and security to enjoy your life. However, it sounds like you're not getting that, which is really tough and depressing.

My wife has changed careers 3 times in the past 5 years. Finally, she realized she wasn't going to be happy with any of it, and she went back to school. She just NEEDS to be doing something she feels good about. Maybe you are the same way?

It sounds like the RE industry might not be satisfying for you, even if you do find success there. Did I read that correctly?

What if you had to keep at your current job, but took night courses or something else that made you feel like you were making progress towards something better? "Digging a tunnel" can be as rewarding as the escape itself.

Finally, what does your wife think you should do?

Either way, that is a rotten situation and I wish you the best of luck.
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Last edited by notfarnow; 05-29-2007 at 12:41 PM..
Old 05-29-2007, 12:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by notfarnow


Finally, what does your wife think you should do?
Put another way, what do you have to do, be, become for your wife to be proud of you?
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Old 05-29-2007, 12:40 PM
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I could really lay out the beans myself my man. In my case the winds of change are coming and I couldn't stop em if I wanted to. I figure lendaddy 2.0 has to be better than lendaddy 1.0.....
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Old 05-29-2007, 12:41 PM
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Old 05-29-2007, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shaun 84 Targa
Put another way, what do you have to do, be, become for your wife to be proud of you?
Well, I wish I was thinking as nobly as that.

I have found that when I get mired down and disillusioned, my wife often has a clearer perspective on what I need to do.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by all the stuff that pi$$es you off. Sometimes it takes someone close to you to remind you of what makes you happy, and to point you in the right direction.

I dunno, maybe I'm having a hard time articulating it
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Old 05-29-2007, 12:51 PM
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First fk the Purpose Driven Life. Second don't sweat the number of jobs in the last 4 years. Use that to your advantage...LIST THE SKILL SET THAT U HAVE and at the bottom put the employers you have had. I got that from a gal who used to hire at a Major Aircraft Co in So Cal. They are looking for the SKILLS U Have and not where U got them from.

Real Estate Appraisal is not a bad Trade to have. Real Estate Inspection is not a Bad Trade. They both pay well, as in all jobs they have BS to put up with, but that is part of the game. Both jobs take a minimum of training and certification.

As to the state of your soul, keep putting one foot in front of the other and never fking give up even in the blackest of nights. That is a true act of Faith.
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Old 05-29-2007, 01:07 PM
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Do you work to live or live to work?

I do not particularly enjoy what I do but it pays bills and after being in the business for 20 years makes me a nice paycheck. I still hate it and I am constantly looking for an exit strategy, another niche that will afford me to get out of this line of work, but for now I do it to make money to enjoy my life with my family.

I have no idea how old you are, my guess, is late 20's?

If so, your in South Beach for crying out loud, work to live for a while enjoy the awesomeness of the city around you and stop worrying so much about getting rich.

Some of the best times in my life was when I was young, stupid and poor but I was having a blast having fun.

Go out to The Delano for some drinks by the pool and then walk on the beach with your wife.

Then tell me how bad it all is.
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Old 05-29-2007, 01:11 PM
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Old 05-29-2007, 01:33 PM
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Old 05-29-2007, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by notfarnow
Well, I wish I was thinking as nobly as that.

I have found that when I get mired down and disillusioned, my wife often has a clearer perspective on what I need to do.

It's easy to get overwhelmed by all the stuff that pi$$es you off. Sometimes it takes someone close to you to remind you of what makes you happy, and to point you in the right direction.

I dunno, maybe I'm having a hard time articulating it
that's what I thought you were saying Jake.

anyway, I'm not married, and likely never will be, but I know from all my friends that nothing drives a Life like knowing it's not about you, it's about your Partner. Some people substitute God for Partner, that works too.
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Old 05-29-2007, 01:39 PM
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