Good stuff - British midget gets penis stuck in vacuum

[Porsche-O-Phile]

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20070820/ten-entertainment-britain-a56114e_1.html

AFP - Monday, August 20 08:50 pm

EDINBURGH (AFP) - A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.
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Daniel Blackner, or "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf", was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act saw him appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member through a special attachment.

The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation.

"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed AE with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.

"I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived."

[Aerkuld]

Good to see the quality of British journalism is being maintained.

[TerryH]

So he's not embarrassed by his day job, only the gluing part?

[grudk]

Now, THAT'S entertainment...

[Jeff Higgins]

You guys act like you've never stuck it to a vacuum before. Don't knock it 'till you've tried it. Just make sure there is a bag on it...

[Aerkuld]

I think we need to come up with a tabloid style headline for that article.

How about;

"Captain Dan comes up short"
or
"Cockey Brit sucks it up"

[MFAFF]

Now you know why we spend so much money on health care yet have low cancer survival rates.. too many of these... on the other hand the Police use these 'loaded' vacs a deterents to crime..

Afterall who can carry out a crime when you are too busy laughing at the guy with his dick stuck in vacuum cleaner?....

[Moneyguy1]

Reminds me of the story about the dairy farmer who thought it would be fun to use the milking machine for "relief". After a few minutes, he could not extracate his member from the machine and it was still running. In a panic, he called the machine's local service number on his cell phone. The service man told him not to worry. The machine was set to automatically shut down at the four gallon mark.

[johnco]

we got my friend drunk on moonshine and convinced him he needed to try this one day... 6hp vacuum and standing in the driveway with frank and beans fully inserted. the next day when I noticed him walking funny I asked him what happened. He had no clue, didn't remember anything.. good thing I had the presence of mind to record the adventure on film. even funnier than the time I bet him $100 he wouldn't shave his head standing at the bar. this he also didn't remember until the next morning when he saw himself in the mirror. it was worth every cent of that $100

[masraum]

A guy in FL several years back got himself stuck in a suction vent in his APARTMENT COMPLEX swimming pool. Finally after a while when he realized he wouldn't be able to get out by himself, he told a passing security guard. Even when they turned the pump off he couldn't get out so the fire dept had to cut him out. Some radio stations got ahold of the 911 tape. It was pretty funny, the guy that called it in was laughing so hard that he could hardly tell them what was going on. She started to get perturbed, but when he finally told her what the problem was she couldn't stop laughing either.

[Don Plumley]

Originally Posted by Porsche-O-Phile

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/afp/20070820/ten-entertainment-britain-a56114e_1.html
Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived."

As was he, as was his...