jeff,
my hat is off to you. just about the best thing i have seen on the board. i laughed 'til i cried.
my vote for post of the year.
bravo.

david

I heart cratch.

Bravo on the poem P-O-P, and bravo to swang on joining the exalted ranks of the Cratch Slappists.

Slap on. Slap off.

Ditto. My kids are in the room wondering why the water I'm drinking just shot out my nose :eek:.

I like shaved cratch.

I live to amuse.

Obviously, I need to start getting drunk and then posting to Pelican more.

Jeff....
OMG, that was great! The only thing that happens when I start drinking is flashbacks, and extensive conversations about nuclear physics.

Hats off to you!
-Nick

If only I could have read it without images of the Cat in the Hat wearing bling and flipping gangsta signs with ho's in thongs gyrating in the background flashign thru my mind......


Excellant prose nontheless. Get drunk more often.

Jeff love your rendition of the cat in the hat, but I'm the pimp daddy thats packing a bat! Her eyes will glow when I pull out MY member and turn her over and give her one to remember...If she tells me to slap then to the cratch I will go and slap it so hard she'll be begging me no... a red colored cratch I know will appear and without missing a beat I'll take a sip of my beer... Thinking of Swang and his need of advice wondering if he should be naughty or nice. I'd tell him like you to start spanking that stuff cause some girls are freaky and just like it rough..Who knows if he got it or if he ever will, but at least there's guys like us out there keeping it real... Wherever a woman with looks is in need the guys known as Pelicans will be willing and free. I know my rhyme is not as good as yours but at least it's a try so you could get a laugh out of something besides yours. If you ever meet a chick that asks for the same send her on over and give me her name.....:D

Pics or it didn't happen.

"Cratch".

Priceless.

6 pages and no Joe? (ya think?)

Nah, he's not shy.

6 pages and no Joe? (ya think?)

Nah, he's not shy.


(I think this thread broke the server.)

Its POP...he is posting odes to assuage his guilt for not smacking the cratch:cool:

I wonder if any women dare offer an opinion....I have never heard of this particular fetish, but hey, I have only been on the planet for 51 years....

I asked my wife...she looked at me like I was demented and went back to her duck fat, whips and chains....sigh.

Dennis

Wasn't me. Although I'll try this cratch slappin' thing whenever I get my next sexual interlude. What's the worst that can happen? She gets mad and I go without for a while - nothing new there!

As one of the gals, I would have to say I woud not like getting slapped this way or any other way... slapping is not good.

Hmm...that's strange. The last three women I dated, all from different backgrounds, and all with different levels of sexual experience, had ONE thing in common...they LOVED to get spanked! I even hurt my hand with one and that wasn't hard enough for her... :eek:

So. What about you? Is spanking considered slapping?

The spanking thing I have heard of....although it doesn't raise my spinnaker at all....I think this thread is devoted to slapping the other side of the....hmmm...matter?

I guess I really would need step by step pictures to really understand :eek::confused:....what part are you slapping?

General area?

Specific parts?

Dennis

Probably the upper, middle part of the cratch.

Best,

Kurt