So what is a fitting punishment for stepdtr whose grades plummetted?

[John_AZ]

Originally Posted by MFAFF

D,

The girls would benefit more from a longer term stay over here...and try to send them in the spring/ summer, December in London isn't the best..

There is a whole building full of US school and college kids right next to my office... over the semester they are here they turn from loud and brash teenagers to calmer and more confident young adults...

The transformation is so obvious in some as the realisation dawns on them that no matter how much parental support they get, both financially and emotionally, their own internal resources and achievements are the raw material for their own lives...and that can only be achieved when away from home.. regardless of the 'success' they have achieve there.

In the context of the slug, the realisation that the 'lifestyle' is only a thin veneer on a 'life' would place a context around the slug that brings the superficial attractions into sharp focus...

Or more bluntly....he might be a big fish.. but the pond in which he swims is shallow and small...placed in a bigger pond he is far less interesting...

The only thing to be wary of is the travel flexibility his cash gives him...pointless being away if slug is flying over every other weekend.

Good luck with it all...

I wanted to reread the post again. +++100

John_AZ

[BRPORSCHE]

Dueller,

I have absolutely nothing to add to this since I am neither a parent nor a knowledgeable adult, but I do know one thing for a 20 year old.

YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE HOT MAN!

[svandamme]

Originally Posted by livi

Yes Sir. The wine yard, the yacht and the apartment in Monte Carlo will be available. Free tickets to this years Grand Prix as the balconies are overlooking the best part of the track.

proper euro trash, no amateurs, just me and Stijn and the staff. Doing our very best to accommodate and provide prudent guidance into the adult responsible world.

hmm, sounds like a plan to me
The F1 bar in the little street next to MonteCarlo Cinema, you know it Livi??

although i imagine it's pretty crowded in GP weekend... i've only gone there in the off season, when Irvine was still driving Schumacher's sidekick @ ferrari
He'de be standing there with 2 blonde bimbo's , i walk in having just won 6 grand French Francs on the BJ table in MCCasino, so i plopped up 2 magnum's of champagne(that took care of that 6 grand in one go).. one for our table, one for Irvine, which he appreciated and then kept us drinking till morning on his tab... We only just made the 10oclock plane in Nice the next morning

[gprsh924]

Originally Posted by BRPORSCHE

Dueller,

I have absolutely nothing to add to this since I am neither a parent nor a knowledgeable adult, but I do know one thing for a 20 year old.

YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE HOT MAN!

+1

[berettafan]

Sweet mary your daughters are hot!

Show that girl the world and hopefully she realizes this guy is beneath her.

She will have her pick of men (as will her sister) and surely doesn't need to limit herself to the local rich kid.

[Sapporo Guy]

What does she say?
What is the answer to why she got bad grades? I wouldn't take -- "I'm on it" for an answer since it is not the answer to why but rather to "what are you gonna do".

Lolo, I really have something against slugs on mommy's cards. Pretty boy jocs that date the best looking girl and drives one of the coolest cars at school ...
yep, I''m jealous

I was thinking that you could just wait it out and watch them go to community college or off to some school that daddy threatened them to go to. By then your daughter will realize that either she is not gonna stay at home with you two or that she wants to go to another school.

Problem is that her grades will suffer until then.

One of my students faced a similar problem 12 years ago. His daughter was the total problem regarding school. He gave her a choice:
A.) stay in Japan and pay your own way after HS
B.) get on a plane and get paid schooling in LA -- no conditions attached -- his thinking was if she was going to waste her life anyway she might as well do it in a foreign country where she might learn something about life. Of course, he was going to have to eat maccaroni and cheese for the next 5 years to pay for all this but he was willing to scarafice!

Interestingly enough she choose to go to LA. She even studied.

"C students hire A students to work for them"; but there is alot of truth in that saying.

emmm, Henry Ford comes to mind But I do believe that he hardly finished 6 years of schooling ... Or was that Edison?

[berettafan]

Originally Posted by the

The worst situation is where the family has modest wealth ($1-$5 million), but raises the kid as though they have real, generational wealth. Particularly where the family money comes from a "working professional" (Dr., lawyer, exec. at big company, etc., i.e., something that requires the skill of the parent and cannot be passed on to the kids), rather than from the ownership of a large, successful family business.

Reading 'the's posts i knew exactly where he was going with his questioning and i concur 1,000%.

Those cuties deserve to be shown the world and given pick of the litter.

Current intention is to do the same for my son when he is around that age. At 3 1/2 he is one handsome flirt and I don't want him picking a lifetime mate without sampling the entire market.

[livi]

Do these, by most standards, grown women have their own saying in these matters..?

Just checking.

[svandamme]

that's just crazy talk Livi...shush now

[imcarthur]

Originally Posted by livi

Do these, by most standards, grown women have their own saying in these matters..?

Just checking.

Yeah, I was going to say . . .

Whenever parents get involved with the lovelife of their offspring, major disaster ensues.

Ian

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by livi

Do these, by most standards, grown women have their own saying in these matters..?

Just checking.

LOL...of course, doc. We absolutely defer to their choice of friends, boyfriends, opportunities they wish to pursue. We would only intervene if we felt they were involved with someone/in something that was seriously self destructive. We've had a few iffy situations but in the end they made healthy choices thus far. We just try to get them to seek (with a bit of suggestion from us) opportunities that await them outside their little world.

E.g.: the one in the school beauty pageant thing (wasn't a "real" pageant) as part of the contest was asked "What is the best advice you've ever received/" To my shock, she replied "My stepfather has told me I should live life on my own terms. To think outside the box and never be afraid to experience new challenges when it would be easier to follow the crowd."

May come back to haunt me

[livi]

It honestly sounds like you are in a pretty safe position to lie back on the couch with your favorite pipe and a glass of fine cognac - relaxing.

[Rikao4]

Dad,
Livi is wearing clogs at the wedding , his friend Stijn will do some ceremony...he said the whole place will be flying. Something to do with mushrooms.

Rika

[911Rob]

Originally Posted by Dueller

E.g.: the one in the school beauty pageant thing (wasn't a "real" pageant) as part of the contest was asked "What is the best advice you've ever received/" To my shock, she replied "My stepfather has told me I should live life on my own terms. To think outside the box and never be afraid to experience new challenges when it would be easier to follow the crowd."

That my friend is a crown achievement!
Good for you Due!

[Dueller]

Originally Posted by 911Rob

That my friend is a crown achievement!
Good for you Due!

Thx, Rob. Kinda scary that it was something I said to her nearly two years ago. They really do listen to what you say even if it is lame advice

Notwithstanding that, it was totally the antithesis of the canned responses that came from some of the other contestants.

[Buckterrier]

Originally Posted by Dueller

One of my twins' grades dropped drastically this 9 weeks...from all A's and a B or two to four C's in her main classes: Eng, Hist, Algebra and Bio. She is in advanced placement classes, and plays varsity tennis and volley ball. Works parttime after school. She not a disciplinary problem at all; abides by curfews, etc. She is very busy but the problem clearly seems to be spending too much time with her boyfriend. As in all her free time.

She feels badly but I think it warrants some type of punishment. She just turned 17. What say you dads out there?

Hey Jim, It's not like the grades dropped off the map. They dropped a notch. With all she has going on not bad. And you did say she feels bad also. I agree with the majority. You will alienate her with 'punishment'.
As far as the slug goes. And I want you to be honest with yourself. What if she brought home someone like I was 30 years ago... broken home, 'only' a HS education. Nothing to my name. Had to work hard for a living. What would you do? I'm positive you and your wife would surely be disappointed.
What is your view of success? All the riches in China? Or is it working harder than most but being happy with the few things you may have and your life in general?
Would you & your wife rather have a slug for a SIL and her have everything she wants or have to work hard, marry beneath her and have little but very happy?
I have no doubt with her looks and smarts she will do just fine any path she travels. The main thing is, and I'm sure you've said this to her, is she has to be able to look in the mirror and the end of the day and can say "I respect the person I'm looking at". This pauper can.

[911Rob]

Good point Mark!

My oldest daughter married a guy that cherishes her every move. He loves her so much and is a very good husband and father. Everything else is secondary to that.

She is one of the happiest gals I know.

NOW, if she had brought home a guy like you...... WELL!

[911Rob]

My Princess and her hubby:

[Buckterrier]

Originally Posted by 911Rob

My Princess and her hubby:

Rob your princess is gorgeous and yes he looks like he adores her.
To tell you the Gods to honest truth... I don't think I would have wanted a daughter of mine dating me back then. But like Rudolph, one day I grew up.

Jim, your stepdaughter will be just fine, (without the water boarding )