Co-worker with "gender identity" issues - how do I handle this?

[KFC911]

I would never hire a transsexual blue monkey , but MRM is correct that it's probably not going to be a big deal. It'll work out, and it's just not your problem to deal with "IF it doesn't" imo.

[sammyg2]

Tie her employment to measurable performance benchmarks that are obtainable. Thaty way if she does her job well, she gets rewarded. if she doesn't do her job, or scares away clients, or for WHATEVER reason doesn't meet the performance goals and costs the company money, she's gone.

[Rot 911]

Originally Posted by sammyg2

Tie her employment to measurable performance benchmarks that are obtainable. Thaty way if she does her job well, she gets rewarded. if she doesn't do her job, or scares away clients, or for WHATEVER reason doesn't meet the performance goals and costs the company money, she's gone.

Best advice yet and from a legal standpoint completely defensible.

[KFC911]

I thought my advice about not hiring transsexual blue monkeys was pretty sound

[shbop]

Political Correctness


The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.
This year's term was Political Correctness.

The winner wrote,
'Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.'

[Rot 911]

Originally Posted by KC911

I thought my advice about not hiring transsexual blue monkeys was pretty sound

Yes, but that is 20/20 hindsight advice.

[stomachmonkey]

I work in the video game space.

We've had our share of transgender situations in our studios.

Sad to say but they were more normal than some of the "regular" staff.

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by Kurt V

Yes, but that is 20/20 hindsight advice.

I'm sloooow, but learn from my mistakes

[jyl]

Jeff, if this isn't handled right, I bet you will be trying to get this thread deleted in the future, before the lawyers get ahold of it and make the following "Exhibit A":

I hate to say this, but the bottom line is I don't see any way to avoid having this impact her career development. This is something our office (and I personally) take very seriously - I want to mentor these guys and help them where I can and see them develop professionally. I don't WANT to hold her back but unfortunately she's boxing herself into a corner. There are some situations I simply can't put her in now because it would be "too weird". We need to represent ourselves as a professional organization that is completely and totally focused on our clients' needs - when clients become aware of this kind of thing, it's easy to understand that they might perceive us as being kind of a "circus" or "drama club" or that there are too many personal issues in the office to allow us to give them total focus (which is what they pay us for). As such, I hate to say it, but I simply CAN'T put her in certain situations now. She's kind of relegating herself to always be a "behind-the-scenes" kind of draftsperson type, not a leader/director with a lot of exposure/interaction with clients. Maybe to new ones (ones that have never known her by anything than her "new" identity), dunno. These really ARE the kinds of decisions I get faced with a lot.

I know that if I were representing the plaintiff in a workplace harassment/discrimination case, finding the above would make my day.

Make this very simple. Read your statement above, and don't do any of the things you wrote. Don't do anything to restrict or hold back her work opportunities. Don't make negative comments or jokes. Don't make a big deal, or even a small deal, out of it. Just treat her like a professional, whose personal life is none of your business. She is your co-worker, not your employee. You neither own the company nor intend to stay there long-term. If her personal decision does prove to have business consequences, leave the decision to the person who is her employer.

[jyl]

Originally Posted by sammyg2

Tie her employment to measurable performance benchmarks that are obtainable. Thaty way if she does her job well, she gets rewarded. if she doesn't do her job, or scares away clients, or for WHATEVER reason doesn't meet the performance goals and costs the company money, she's gone.

You will have to do that for all employees in her position/role. Singling her out for a benchmark-based performance/termination scheme, due to her gender change, is a very bad idea. Legally and, I think, managerially.

[the]

I agree, that seems very sketchy, esp. considering she is probably currently an "at will" employee, like all the other employees.

Taking someone out of "at will" employee status, and instead essentially promising them continued employment if they meet certain goals, is almost never a good idea, from a legal perspective, for an employee in an "at will" state.

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by red-beard

Encourage her to go work for the City of San Francisco, since they now cover those medical treatments on insurance.

BRILLIANT!

[MRM]

Jeeze, guys it's a blue monkey OR a transexual. No one would hire someone who was both at the same time, no matter how blue, uh, good he, um, she was.

[KFC911]

See there Kurt! I "knew" it was sound advice...

[livi]

Interesting situation indeed.

But, she is hired to perform a job and get an expected result. If she does, it is all well. If she doesn´t or her transformation has a significant negative impact on your clients, that is another story.

I can surely understand your worries however. It is quite simply a very unnatural situation. Very difficult to relate to.

[Jims5543]

Originally Posted by deathpunk dan

My girlfriend and I rent out a small bungalow that we rehabbed about 4 years ago...our tenants are a lesbian couple and one of them is in the middle of becoming male. I like to think of myself as fairly open minded...but it's pretty f#cked up. She asked that we call her Jimmy from now on.

I knew something was amiss about a year ago when she started looking like Wes Welker.

Just pay the rent on time, that's all we ask.

Wait!! Once the "girlfriend" turns into a guy, will her lesbian lover dump her because she is not into guys?


In the story I mention above this was circa 1989 before PC was a catch phrase and Homosexuals were not mainstream and cool.

It was a small company and the owners daughter worked there and was gay. I asked he straight out one time why, if she was not into men, did she want to date chicks acting like guys. She had no answer for me.

At least the stripper in that Terry met in the mirror thread gave a answer of sorts.


I do not agree with the lifestyle, but I would go as far as calling these girls I knew my friends, they were cool people and pretty fun to be around.

Who am I to judge anyone on the life they choose to live, its their choice, I can only control what I choose to do and not do, not anyone else.

[varmint]

if she's a good employee, make some limited attempt to keep her.

otherwise, watched a co worker go male to female a few years back. "gender identity" issues were only the beginning of his problems. when becoming a girl didn't immediately make his life wonderful, he spiraled out of control pretty fast.