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Unfair and Unbalanced
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: From the misty mountains to the bayou country
Posts: 9,711
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Liberal Utopia
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States . Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030 . IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. Florexico voters still having trouble with voting machines.
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"SARAH'S INSIDE Obama's head!!!! He doesn't know whether to defacate or wind his watch!!!!" ~ Dennis Miller! |
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06-06-2008, 11:34 AM
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I'm not here.
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Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
That's funny! |
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06-06-2008, 11:52 AM
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Registered
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Linn County, Oregon
Posts: 39,963
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LOL! Good post!
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"Now, to put a water-cooled engine in the rear and to have a radiator in the front, that's not very intelligent." -Ferry Porsche (PANO, Oct. '73) (I, Paul D. have loved this quote since 1973. It will remain as long as I post here.) |
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06-06-2008, 11:57 AM
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=VLOOKUP(val,tab,col,rng)
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Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
NOW THAT'S FUNNY!
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QUOTE: NOTA, on dating: "I have a simple system-I ask them to put it in --if they donot it don't go in" Cockerpunk, on The Muppets- "the fact that you dont think there are sexual advances in the muppets is kinda scary. but it doesn't change the facts that its there." |
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06-06-2008, 12:09 PM
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Dog-faced pony soldier
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Castro was born in 1926. He'd only be 103.
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A car, a 911, a motorbike and a few surfboards Black Cars Matter |
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06-06-2008, 12:25 PM
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1980 Porsche 911SC targa 3.0
1981 ?! A Red one... 3.0
Balla special
!
