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Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 01:13 AM

My fiance is cheating on me and addicted to meth
I really don't feel like typing it all out again, so I'm just copy+pasting it from my myspace blog. I tried to edit cursing. I'm just really not very happy right now

So this past Friday evening, Melissa goes to work, and sends me a text message saying she went out drinking with a friend and just crashed at her place. No problem. So Saturday morning I call a few times, no answer. So I text her asking if she's coming home. She texts me back "Sorry, I'll be home tomorrow, I LOVE YOU!". I call a few times throughout the day, but she never answers. I texted her a few times, and no answer there either. I start to worry. Sunday rolls around, and she finally texts me again, saying "I'll be home tomorrow, I PROMISE!!!" But she doesn't come home. For that matter, she doesn't answer the phone, or respond to text messages. Odd. I call both places she works, and they haven't seen her either. She showed up Saturday morning to get her paycheck from one place, and that's all anyone has seen her. She's missed a few days of work, and won't answer the phone when she calls.

So naturally, I'm pretty worried. I'm a bit angry, too. She and I recently got engaged, and set "the date" for January 2010. We had been doing very well, at least I thought. Then suddenly BAM! She disappears, and no one knows where she is. She won't call. She isn't at work. What's up? I send her a text saying that this is a really messed up thing to pull on someone she's engaged to. No response. I call. Her phone is turned off, goes straight to voice mail. I'm worried sick. This is the love of my life, and I don't even know if she's safe? What's going on?

Monday shows up. I hear nothing the entire day. She doesn't answer her phone or respond to texts. I go to work that night, worried as *****, praying to the god I don't believe in that she's okay. On my PT break, I run out to my car, hoping that maybe there's a message on my phone saying "I'm sorry about these past few days. I'm coming home." But nothing. Nothing on Tuesday either. Nothing. Something is not right here. I send her a text saying if she isn't home or if I haven't heard from her by the next day, I"m going to the police and reporting her missing. I'm worried sick. No response.

And so Wednesday morning, about 4 hours ago actually, as I get off work I get a bright idea (thanks Ssgt Luna!) to check her cell phone. We share a family plan, which I pay for, so I was able to see all her recent calls. Oh, someone has been calling a lot over the past few days. But does she call me, her fiance? No. What is going on here?

So I start calling the numbers on there. The first one I call, some guy answers and says "Oh, Melissa? Yeah, she's fine! She's just been hanging out with my wife! They're at the mall shopping right now."

What the f*ck? Did I hear this guy correctly? Yes, I did.

So I call the next number. A guy answers, I tell him she's missing and ask if he knows anything. He says no, he's worried too though, 'cause he hasn't heard from her in a while. He asks who I am. "Oh, I'm her fiance," I reply. There is a pause on the other end. As it turns out, this guy was her other boyfriend. They had been together for about 3 weeks. Sleeping together, too. This is great. He tells me the story she told him: Melissa told him she moved here with "some guy" (me) that lied to her and cheated on her, so she left him. Interesting. Also, a complete LIE.

So, my beloved fiance, the absolute love of my life. I've never loved anyone like her. She refuses to talk to me, and apparently she's f*cking someone else. Great. But it gets better.

I send her a text, saying I know about her boyfriend, and she is to return my car to me or I'm reporting the car stolen in a few hours. No reply of course. I also text her saying that I'm putting her stuff in boxes, and she's not welcome here anymore. WELL WELL WELL, as I'm pulling her clothes out of drawers and putting them into boxes, what do I find? A lighter and a small bag with little white rocks and powder in it. Yes, that's right. METH!! I should have pissed on her stuff right there. But no, me being the nice guy I am, I put her stuff in boxes fairly neatly, labeled them with her name and even wrote "heavy, lift carefully" on them and placed them outside. And so right now I'm wondering how much of everything she said was a complete lie.

It's just a really messed up thought. She's the love of my life. She completes me. We've known each other for almost 6 years. I've spent over 6 thousand dollars flying her out to Hawaii, moving her and her stuff out here. I've helped her pay off debts, and I was in the process of helping her fix her credit. I gave her a wonderful life full of love and support. I clothed her, I fed her, I gave her shelter. I never judged her for her past. I was 100% open with her about everything. I bought her a beautiful engagement ring. And in the end, she turned out to be a meth-addicted liar that was ****ing someone else for the past month. And she has has my car! So all that time, all those memories, all of that LOVE... It was all for nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a f*cking thing in this god d*mn world. I guess I should be glad she has my $300 beater and not my vintage Porsche 911.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 01:15 AM

I guess I should edit the title of the thread to say "EX-fiance". This is nuts. I'm still in shock. i had no idea. Talking about it seems to make it easier getting over her. Ugh.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 01:17 AM

And in case anyone is wondering, I have changed the key locks on our apartment, so she can't get in and steal anything and sell it for drug money. Now I'm just worried that she might do something to my Porsche.

911Rob 09-25-2008 01:22 AM

Run away from her as fast as you can and count your lucky stars!
In 10 years she'll be a vague memory and not your ex-wife raising your kids or worse.

Sorry for your news, but be thankful, this women is pure evil.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 01:26 AM

yeah. I'm definitely leaving her far behind, and I'm glad it happened now and not when we were married. But wow, completely blindsided, you know? It's still hard to believe it happened. I still havent heard from her, by the way. I guess at least now I'll have more money for my Porsche.

Rick V 09-25-2008 01:40 AM

Thats tough Dude, but like said earlier, better now that after the I do's and many years of your life invested.

slakjaw 09-25-2008 01:43 AM

Dude, I hope you get your car back.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 02:05 AM

Yeah. The car she took was just a beater I bought from craigslist, but it has kinda grown on me. And besides, it's mine, and she's on drugs. Gimme mah car back!

1967 R50/2 09-25-2008 02:26 AM

Sounds like you've made the right move. Additionally you should get yourself checked for HIV hepatitis, etc.

Not to sound alarmist, but she has been around the block A LOT and you don't need any more suprises in the future.

Be sure you are clean and get it all behind you ASAP.

Seriously consider reporting her to the police. In the end you may do her a big favor.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 02:29 AM

I'm definitely going in and getting tested for everything.

I called the police and tried reporting the car stolen, but hawaii laws are strange. Friday, last time I saw her, she had my permission to drive the car. Even though later I sent her a text saying to bring it back, I'm reporting it, since INITIALLY she had my permission it gets tricky. Now I have to tell her in person or over the phone to give me my car back and set up a date for her to do so. Then, if she doesn't bring it back, it will be grand theft auto. Here in hawaii they take grand theft auto serious, the cop's own words were that they usually go into auto theft situations "with guns a blazing. She could end up getting shot."

1967 R50/2 09-25-2008 02:32 AM

Good luck...I'm sure you will catch up with her eventually. Can you not report her for drug possession? I realize this may be a can of worms.

And get the ring back too.

Hebrewhomeboy 09-25-2008 02:47 AM

From what I understand, the ring is considered a gift. So it's hers. Since I haven't heard from her at all in something like 3 days now, I can report her missing. That would at least get the ball rolling, legally.

DanielDudley 09-25-2008 03:12 AM

You are taking it well, and doing the right thing. Park yur car elsewhere for a while, and consider a new apartment. When you get tested for STDs, you will have to have a follow up in six months. Ask me how I know.

Remember, there are women you date, and women you marry. Not all women are like this one. And while a woman wants you to think that she is the only one, there are about 5 billion more out there to choose from. Happy dating.

slakjaw 09-25-2008 03:44 AM

I know a guy in Omaha with a story similar to yours. Except he came home early one day and got his face bashed in by 3 black guys.

It sucks man and I am sure it will be difficult times for a while but I agree with the rest, you are doing the right thing.

Chocaholic 09-25-2008 03:46 AM

Wait! Don't give up. You can save her from a life of drugs and sex with strangers. Give her more lavish gifts and for heaven's sake....let her drive the Porsche. A $300 beater??? How dare you! She crying out for your help...can't you hear it?

Seriously. . .one has to wonder how you could be an "item" for six years and not have any indication that she's morphed into a meth-whore. Hopefully you've learned a difficult lesson, luckily before getting married. Run Forest Run! The next time the "love of your life" calls to tell you sleeping over at a girlfriend's attention now...SHE'S NOT.


ChrisBennet 09-25-2008 04:34 AM

That's sad. Years from now you'll be thinking "I'm glad it didn't work out with what's her face or I never would have ended up with the wonderful woman I'm with." In the meantime it's hard, very hard.

IROC 09-25-2008 04:42 AM

If you have any joint accounts (checking, savings, etc) close them immediately and re-open new accounts in your name only.

Horrible story, man. At least this happened before you were married, had kids, etc. My ex-wife pulled a stunt similar to this minus the meth. It's a huge blow when it happens - I know - but trust me, you'll look back on this and actually be thankful that it happened. As Obi-wan would say, "This is not the wife you're looking for..."

Good luck...

juan ruiz 09-25-2008 05:23 AM

Better now than after the "I do" :( Time to move on Bro, is all about choices.

I have a real good friend that started like that and he married her, she cheated 3 times on him and the last time was after 30 years of been married, he lost everything he work for, his explanation, I should had walk away the first time. ;)

legion 09-25-2008 05:35 AM

You can't fix broken people. I'm so glad I learned this lesson with a girlfriend in high school and not later on. It's a tough lesson to learn though, especially when the person in question can fake being normal and functional.

charleskieffner 09-25-2008 05:36 AM


Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy (Post 4200279)
From what I understand, the ring is considered a gift. So it's hers. Since I haven't heard from her at all in something like 3 days now, I can report her missing. That would at least get the ball rolling, legally.

wow yer where i was at 10 yrs ago! run like a mo-fo..............split/leave/haul ass/get outta dodge with this one. in regards to the ring.......if ya dont like the idea of it being pawned for more dope, then explain to her that it is a promissary note to get married. since she has defunked on that promise legally in some states you get the ring back.

as mentioned 10 yrs(where i am at) it will be merely a speedbump in yer life. for now get yer stuff back and move on. if not move out to another home with no forwarding address. i promise you they will want to come back sooner or later and the same crap happens again. i made damn sure there "was no coming back", once the line in the sand was crossed.

she left on my birthday 9/22/99.................BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT I EVER GOT OR EVER WILL GET! BAR NONE!

since heavy duty users tend to hang together, you have upset the hornets nest big time by getting cops involved. just get yer stuff back and step away from the dysfunction..........NOW ASAP!

lets see how many of these have i read just like this, just exactly like my situation, here on pelican over the last few years. you aint alone on this juan buddy........ITS EVERYWHERE! illegal heavy duty drug abuse or prescribed heavy duty drug/booze abuse(my case).

man i dont do/handle DYSFUNCTIONAL BEHAVIOR NO MO! EVER! good luck with this.

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