Employment decision - Advice needed

[Aerkuld]

I'm faced with a difficult and unusual decision, particularly given the current job market, and would really appreciate some advice from the PPOT brains trust.

I was laid off by my previous company in November last year and started the job search straight away. Obviously this wasn't a great time as the holidays got in the way and there was a conspicuous lack of activity as the end of the year approached. Despite this I did get a phone interview which led to a face-to-face interview just before the Christmas break.

Right at the start of the New Year my wife got a great offer with a local company and accepted a position as quality manager.

In the meantime I was in contact with several other potential leads. I've since had two phone interviews with one company for two different jobs in two different locations. One of these has since turned into request for a face-to-face interview which has yet to be arranged but it would involve a relocation. The other a face-to-face interview which eneded in a verbal offer which would be local. The downside is that they have told me there is a corporate hiring freeze but they think there might be a work around as they would be replacing a guy who left rather than creating something new. I'm waiting to hear back from them, possibly by the end of this week.

Yesterday I recieved a written offer from the first company I interviewed with. This is a great job but it would mean relocating or weekly travel from home to work place. They want a response by Tuesday next week.

Also yesterday, I got a call from yet another company who want to set up an interview and apparently I am their prime candidate for that position. This is a good enough job and it would be doing exactly the same thing I was doing at the company I was working for prior to November.

So now I need to decide what to do. These are all great engineering jobs and nothing to choose between them from a career point-of-view. I don't have a whole lot of confidence that the 'hiring freeze' company will come through, which simplifies things a little.

I did consider trying to stall on the first offer and try to get the deadline extended to see how things pan out but I'm concerned how that would look from their point of view. So it really comes down to a gamble:

1. Take a solid offer with an awesome company that either means a weekly commute, or relocating and my wife quitting her job. (Probably a larger job market for her there than where we are now)

OR...

2. Blowing off a great job and taking the risk that I can ace the interview for the local job.

Neither of us can decide what to do for sure right now and I'm hoping that events will unfold over the next few days that will help fill in the blanks or I see the light and make the right call.



Any words of wisdom or advice on good stalling tactics?

[Rick Lee]

Congrats on having these options available to you.

How bad would it be to accept the sure offer and then renege or quit if a better one comes along? My wife did this a few years ago and it ruffled some feathers, but worked out for the best. The first job offer would not sponsor her H1 (before we were even engaged). They needed an answer, but another place was close to offering her more money AND an H1. She had to take the first job, but quit a few weeks later when the better one came through. He boss was irate, but she's done just fine since then.

[asphaltgambler]

So the first question I would ask is: Which partner makes the larger % of income ?

The second would be: She quits her current j-o-b to relocate for yours; how will that affect her career and then her future?

[Palum6o]

I am in a sort of a very similar position right now myself. I would contact the local job opportunity and tell them that you have another offer and need to make a decision very soon. They (should) then expedite your interview for you, that way you can make a decision.

As for relocating to a new city, I'm currently going through something similar right now, not sure what to do either... ultimately though, the next few days should be interesting!

[Jim Richards]

Originally Posted by Aerkuld

1. Take a solid offer that either means a weekly commute, or relocating and my wife quitting her job. (Probably a larger job market for her there than where we are now)

OR...

2. Blowing off the sure thing and taking the risk that I can ace the interview for the local job. (Reasonable chance considering my current success rate)

Neither of us can decide what to do for sure right now and I'm hoping that events will unfold over the next few days that will help fill in the blanks.



Any words of wisdom or advice on good stalling tactics?

We made the choice of door #1 for roughly 3 years, during which one us traveled to see the other every weekend. She had a great job and I relocated for a great job (edit: the job I left was going to sheet). She tried to relocate to where I was, but couldn't find anything half as good as the job she had. It took me (in GA) moving back to where my wife was (in FL) to keep the marriage intact. It really was strained by the geographical separation. 18 months after I rejoined her full-time, we both moved to DC for new jobs. You never know what curves life throws at you, but if you choose to stay near your wife, you have a better chance of keeping things together at home.

[Rick Lee]

I should also add that my wife quit her excellent job in DC, the one that sponsored her H1, to come to AZ with me and start a new job search. Within three weeks she had a great offer for more than she was making in DC and with less of a commute. That stuff has a way of working itself out.

[rammstein]

Delay within reason. My brother did this very recently. Use something personal- say you will need to make certain family arrangements in order to commit, and try to squeeze a week out. It won't work forever, but you can get a bit this way. Good luck to you, its nasty out there.

[Aerkuld]

Originally Posted by asphaltgambler

So the first question I would ask is: Which partner makes the larger % of income ?

The second would be: She quits her current j-o-b to relocate for yours; how will that affect her career and then her future?

This won't help much as her salary and the one I'm being offered are identical.

The second part of your question is something that we have considered. She has taken this position after having an officilal title of 'Homemaker' for about 18 months. In that respect it would probably look bad on her behalf to have only stayed in the job for a very short period of time before she quit. I also think that she will develop a superb reputation in the company she is now at. She has already impressed the company exec's and she definitely knows what she's doing and I think the future prospects are excellent.

I acknowledge that I am in an incredibly fortunate situation but I will say that I didn't get here by sitting on my arse feeling sorry for myself. I have said to several people that looking for a job is a full time job in itself.

[Big Ed]

I'd suggest calling the hiring freeze company and being frank with them. "Look, I want to work for you guys, but there's another offer on the table and I can only delay them until Tuesday. Any chance of getting a go/no go decision in that timeframe?"

[Jim Richards]

+1

[Aerkuld]

Thanks, that's a good point.

[Seahawk]

I know you know, but never forget how Mrs. Aerkuld views her new opportunity, which is going swimmingly.

As a troglodyte, I serve as a reminder.

Good luck, my friend.

[Aerkuld]

Thanks Paul, I haven't forgotten about Mrs. Aerkuld. She and I have been talking this through a lot. We considered her staying in her job for 12 months while I fly back and forth to my job every week. This would be do-able but a bit of a PITA. Probably worth it though.

I appreciate all the advice guys. Please keep it coming if there's anything to add.

Thanks!

[Tishabet]

Glad to hear the local company is playing ball, best of luck on the interview!

[Paul T]

Congrats on having some options on the table, that's something to be said for you in this market. Curious, for option #1, when you say weekly commute or relocate, what are we talking here? 100 miles? 1000 miles? Hopefully the local deal comes through for you, but I like the idea of reasonably trying to stall for a week on the relo deal, I don't think that would look bad at all..

[Aerkuld]

Originally Posted by Paul T

Congrats on having some options on the table, that's something to be said for you in this market. Curious, for option #1, when you say weekly commute or relocate, what are we talking here? 100 miles? 1000 miles? Hopefully the local deal comes through for you, but I like the idea of reasonably trying to stall for a week on the relo deal, I don't think that would look bad at all..

We're talking about 400+ miles away, definitely not a daily drive! The location would actually be great and the job would be fantastic if it wasn't for the relocation issue and the affect on Mrs. Aerkuld's job.

[JeremyD]

Act interested in the first position but ask for another interview to get a better handle on the position and who you would be reporting and working with. Use that as a delay tactic and fire things up with company number 2. If necessary - accept #1 and see if number 2 comes through. They would probably do the same to you. Don't burn bridges - but also don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I've seen companies renig on offers when the position vanished between offer and start date. Crazy world we live in right now - protect yourself accordingly.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. If the "hiring freeze" place wanted you, they'd have made an exception already. F 'em. I wouldn't wait. They need to either schit or get off the pot. They've made their choice far as I'm concerned. The local place - you don't have an offer there, only an interview. Means nothing. They might have a "hiring freeze" too if ya know what I mean.

So based on that it comes down to whether YOUR job or your wife's is more important. That's between you and her. Obviously if you move, she gives up her job. If you stay, expect to be pounding the bricks for another few months, maybe more (you might get lucky, but I wouldn't bet on it or let it influence my decision either way). Does your wife like her new job? Would it seriously hamper her career/resume if she bailed after having just started? Would it burn any bridges? Would you make significantly more $$$ to the point it wouldn't matter? Those are the questions to consider.

Frankly I'm in something of a similar boat myself. My wife has a job she LOVES and she's the only one working, but we've mutually agreed if I get something comparable to the job I just got let go from salary-wise (which I'd easily be able to do if it were a "normal" market, unfortunately it isn't...) that would be the driving factor. If I can get something local enough to her place of employment (Disney), she stays. If I can't and my first "real" offer is outside of the area, unfortunately she'll have to give up the job she loves because mine will pay so much more (I've offered to make it up to her if that happens by buying her into the Disney Vacation Club).

So long story short - don't let people cock you around with stupid B.S. about "hiring freezes" and "maybes". Either they want you or they don't - ultimately they need to put up or shut up and you shouldn't sit around for anyone. Back when I was hiring I always made offers right then and there after the first interview if the candidate was qualified and a good fit for the position - none of this "wait and see" B.S. or second, third, fourth interviews to ask the same questions over and over. You have to assume everyone you let walk out the door without an offer in hand is going straight to your competition. If you're okay with that, let 'em go and forget about it. If not, make them the offer RIGHT THERE, not a bunch of sob stories, excuses and stalling/time-wasting tactics.

Have a talk with your wife. Best of luck to you - I'm envious of your position - I'd love to have your problems right about now.

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by Palumbo

I am in a sort of a very similar position right now myself. I would contact the local job opportunity and tell them that you have another offer and need to make a decision very soon. They (should) then expedite your interview for you, that way you can make a decision.

As for relocating to a new city, I'm currently going through something similar right now, not sure what to do either... ultimately though, the next few days should be interesting!

Palumbo I can't imagine any reason why you'd not want to leave this spit-hole...

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by JeremyD

Act interested in the first position but ask for another interview to get a better handle on the position and who you would be reporting and working with. Use that as a delay tactic and fire things up with company number 2. If necessary - accept #1 and see if number 2 comes through. They would probably do the same to you. Don't burn bridges - but also don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I've seen companies renig on offers when the position vanished between offer and start date. Crazy world we live in right now - protect yourself accordingly.

+1. Can't say I've seen the last part, but I've seen Fortune 500 companies hire someone, let them uproot (relocate), all the while knowing that "something was in the works" that would cause the position to be eliminated within a matter of weeks (but "they" choose to keep things appearing "normal") until it's official.