Long Distance relationships (middle age dating 201)

[scottmandue]

Long story short... do you think you could have a long term relationship with a lady who lives out of state?

Airfare: $100-$200 see each other two weekends a month

Pros: How can I miss you if you never go away?

Cons: Whaca doing when I'm not around?

VOTE DAMIT!

[POORSH]

Long story short... do you think you could have a long term relationship with a lady who lives out of state?

If long term means marriage and one of you is willing to eventually move, then yes.

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Long story short... do you think you could have a long term relationship with a lady who lives out of state?

Airfare: $100-$200 see each other two weekends a month

Pros: How can I miss you if you never go away?

Cons: Whaca doing when I'm not around?

VOTE DAMIT!

Long term? Probably not unless one of you is willing to move.

Really really HOT mid or short term, oh yeah.

Had women fly from the UK to meet me before. Gone to many states other times to meet others. Going to drive about 95 miles today to meet a woman(wish me luck).

Massive fun and frolicking is definitely obtainable.

PS: I know of some cases where people had UK/Australia internet inspired relationships. You find this stuff a lot in online gaming communities. I'd almost go so far as to say it's common.

[Rick Lee]

Weren't you asking about pre-nups a few days ago and complaining about the cost? Unless one of you has imminent plans to move to the other, you're headed for trouble. I did the long distance thing once and the plane trips and having to cram lots into one weekend or so per month got old pretty quickly.

[BeyGon]

I don't see what you have to lose, the split up won't be so harsh, either one can get dumped without much fuss. If it works out, someone will have to make a decision, where does she live, you might be real happy leaving SoCal. I could do it.

[scottmandue]

I'm in So Cal she is in Portland Or.

I know this is stupid... I am 52 and figured I was done with relationships and would live the rest of my life out single and happy. I flew up to Portland to meet a old high school buddy and met her. Stuff happens.

She is always cold... she is willing to move here... but she has a fifteen year old daughter and doesn't want to relocate her until she goes off to college.

She is flying down to spend the weekend with me next weekend for the first time.

I have an extra bedroom daughter could conceivable move into, I have not met daughter because she spends weekends with dad and weekends are when I fly up to see her mom.

I never would have planed this... certainly was not by design... did I mention stuff happens?



"Life is what happens to us while we make other plans"

[red-beard]

After 6 months, she moved to where I lived. We've been married 5 years now...

[Jim Bremner]

she's G.U.

Geographically Undesirable

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

Weren't you asking about pre-nups a few days ago and complaining about the cost? Unless one of you has imminent plans to move to the other, you're headed for trouble. I did the long distance thing once and the plane trips and having to cram lots into one weekend or so per month got old pretty quickly.

I am not so bent on the price of a prenup...

More so that marriage has been reduced to contractual agreement... I am ready just to marry her and let the chips fall... but friends and family are rallying around chanting "be careful".

More time and research is required... I don't know how the daughter would feel about moving in with us down here... that would make things much easier.

Her dad (who has her on the weekends) lives with his parents.

[imcarthur]

Have the ex killed & all should be well. Go for it.

Ian

[Seahawk]

As with all relationships, the only easy day was yesterday...give it a whirl, run the string and see where it takes you.

Life is way to short to worry about every nit.

My wife and I were apart three of the first five years of our marriage...not exactly a template for success, but we made it work.

[nostatic]

NO.

Paul is an exception and he probably lived local to his wife before they were married. Plus he was young and stupid and we can put up with a lot when we're young and stupid

imho, LDRs are fake relationships. They are partnerships of convenience, as you don't have to really deal with the other person. Yes, you spend money, time and effort to "be together", but you don't have to deal with each other in the flesh on a daily/regular basis. That is the test of a relationship.

But it depends on what you want. If what amounts to physically and emotionally distant with good "travel sex" is what you want at this point in your life, then go for it. But if you really want to find someone to spend time with, you can't do it at a distance.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by nostatic

NO.

Paul is an exception and he probably lived local to his wife before they were married. Plus he was young and stupid and we can put up with a lot when we're young and stupid

We did. My wife and I dated for a year before we married...I then left for the first PG war three weeks later and was gone for a year. I came home and then left for other pursuits on and off.

So, yes, we had an excellent foundation, one which we both nourished.

Improbable is not impossible. As long as Scott has his eyes wide open, sets his boundaries, I simply can't question exploring an LDR with a willing paramour.

Scott an I are the same age...get on the plane and have fun.

[nostatic]

I went back a re-read the post. I didn't pick up the part about moving down after the daughter finished school. That bodes slightly better, and life is short so why not try it. BUT, I still maintain that LDRs are "easy relationships. It is way too easy to "fall in love" and be "committed" to someone you only see once or twice a month.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

My wife and I lived apart for two years and saw each other only once every 3-4 months during that time. Worked fine.

It depends on the people and their level of commitment to each other.

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

I'm in So Cal she is in Portland Or.

I know this is stupid... I am 52 and figured I was done with relationships and would live the rest of my life out single and happy. I flew up to Portland to meet a old high school buddy and met her. Stuff happens.

She is always cold... she is willing to move here... but she has a fifteen year old daughter and doesn't want to relocate her until she goes off to college.

She is flying down to spend the weekend with me next weekend for the first time.

I have an extra bedroom daughter could conceivable move into, I have not met daughter because she spends weekends with dad and weekends are when I fly up to see her mom.

I never would have planed this... certainly was not by design... did I mention stuff happens?



"Life is what happens to us while we make other plans"

Well based on this, you having never even met the daughter you are going WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too fast in your mental scenarios amigo.

Just have fun, spend some weekends together, and dont focus on the long term.

Whatever happens will happen.

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

I am not so bent on the price of a prenup...

More so that marriage has been reduced to contractual agreement... I am ready just to marry her and let the chips fall... but friends and family are rallying around chanting "be careful".

More time and research is required... I don't know how the daughter would feel about moving in with us down here... that would make things much easier.

Her dad (who has her on the weekends) lives with his parents.

Dude you haven't even met her daughter and you're talking marriage?

You're out of your mother-flipping mind.

Or do you really want to get hit by a locomotive?

If i was your friend in the real world i would lock you in my basement and make you watch endless marathons of divorce court. Seriously, you're 52, not 15. You're not using your head at all.

[POORSH]

May I ask how long you've known this person? Does she feel the same? Have you guys talked about the "M" word?

[Jared at Pelican Parts]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

I'm in So Cal she is in Portland Or.

I know this is stupid... I am 52 and figured I was done with relationships and would live the rest of my life out single and happy. I flew up to Portland to meet a old high school buddy and met her. Stuff happens.

She is always cold... she is willing to move here... but she has a fifteen year old daughter and doesn't want to relocate her until she goes off to college.

She is flying down to spend the weekend with me next weekend for the first time.

I have an extra bedroom daughter could conceivable move into, I have not met daughter because she spends weekends with dad and weekends are when I fly up to see her mom.

I never would have planed this... certainly was not by design... did I mention stuff happens?



"Life is what happens to us while we make other plans"

Hits a little too close to home for me. I was in Portland, she was in LA, old high school friends. It didnt work out.

It's hard work. The distance is the main issue. If you can solve that problem, you're better off.

[Don Plumley]

Originally Posted by m21sniper

Dude you haven't even met her daughter and you're talking marriage?

You're out of your mother-flipping mind.

Or do you really want to get hit by a locomotive?

If i was your friend in the real world i would lock you in my basement and make you watch endless marathons of divorce court. Seriously, you're 52, not 15. You're not using your head at all.

On this, I agree with Sniper. Date her, do her. But a 15 yo daughter... I'd date her for three years until said daughter was off at college.