Might just do that, Sid. Have to be in the Fall as the 911 is sans A/C now. Thanks for the invite.

Was thinking about her and the GFs... What are the chances that she has decided to start batting for the hometeam? Might explain her desire to be around them more than you...

Well, if it fuels your imagination...

From my experience, it doesn't have anything to do with switch hitting. More about various clocks ticking, and a desire to be understood.

Guess I could have worded that differently.... That wasn't coming from a fantasy... Just a thought about why she would be pushing Jim away, letting the gfs be in the marital bed late at night etc....

Offbase young grasshoppa'.

About 5 p.m. received a text she and one of her dtrs need to come by house to pick up some clothes: "Me and JJ need to come by tom and get some clothes"

Oh the drama:rolleyes:

Haven't responded yet but I think "OK" is enough. When I get around to it.

Was just throwing something out there...


Tell her they will be out on the lawn... ;)

Maybe in another time...right now I'm sticking to me gameplan to preserve my sanity and doing nothing. The last thing she would expect from me given our history.

Dueller,

Sorry to hear this but i have to say that given the investment of your spirit and time, Marv is right. As painful as it could be, you need to take the initiative and put her behind you. If she doesnt know what she wants or whatever is going through her head, she sure as hell doesn't have a clue how to take care of you. Move on brother you deserve respect and it sounds like your not getting it in this marriage.

Dan

Good for you. It is business now. Treat all meetings & communications like a slightly distasteful - but professional - business situation. Never yell or argue - just walk away or hangup. Nothing will be gained if you debase yourself.

Ian

Have you changed the locks on the house? If not you need to get that done ASAP! She moved out and if you let her just come in and out at her whim you are telling her she is still in control of the situation. If you just let her come in to "get some clothes" you best be there or she may decide she needs a few other items in addition to clothes.

Hey Dueller, I've been reading along but until now didn't have anything of value to add. Even now this may not be worth much. But you say you love her dearly still. Well bro I carried such love for my ex long after she bailed on me and it prolonged my agony for far to long. I know you can't just stop loving someone but please, for your sake, try to let go of her. You deserve to be happy brother. FWIW.

Agree and its more that she is not the same woman that Jim married. Time changes things, especially with the womans "change of life" time.

This happened to me and she simply was not the same person. Am still good friends with the Mother in Law and family, and they say the same.

Make a smooth as possible break and move on with your life. You have given it more of a chance than most would have done.

I agree on changing the locks. You need to take control and maintain control.

As far as sending her a text back. Don't. She needs to phone you. I would ignore texts and only speak by phone. Anything written can and will be used in a court of law.

Geez, it has been 12 years now. Technology changes, people don't.

IF things are really over, the turning point is when she turns mean. It will suck more than anything to see someone who you may still love, turn against you, lie to you to hurt you, etc. Do not assume that even if you are on good terms now, that it will stay that way.

Jim, you are a good guy. I know how you feel. I am similar. And I'm an engineer. I think I can fix ANYTHING! Some things you can't fix.

No matter what, we're here for ya.

And do not think that this will not happen. My ex- was really a good friend and things stayed that way until she got in a relationship with another guy.

All of a sudden the boyfriend was telling her to "go after that rich pilot and get everything you can get" was the new outlook. Back when we were friendly she begged me when I moved out to leave the Bang & Olufsen stereo I bought before we were married. I trusted her at that time and was hoping that the marriage could be saved, but it was a $10,000 mistake. Four years later my lawyer finally got it back after I found the receipt showing the purchase date. My ex delivered it to his office, dropped it on the floor and walked out. Nothing in the agreement with the court said that it had to be in one piece or work...

99% of the time the other half will change and it will not be for the good. CYA!

When you figure out how to extinguish the feelings on demand, bottle it and put it on eBay. Women and men alike could use some.

That was my exact situation as well. The problem, I wasn't rich and there was little to fight over. She took things that rightfully were mine. I didn't care. It was more important for the thing to be over with, quickly, and move on.

Not I didn't still have feeling for her, just that we knew we couldn't keep a relationship together.

Milt, they already make the opposite of what you are talking about. You know, the stuff that makes these feelings come alive.

Its called BOOZE!

James,

My problem was that at that time (and not now either) was not "well to do" but doing ok in life. It was not that I wanted the stereo that much but I would be dammed if I was going to let her have it.

I am still in touch with her Brother and family and make sure that they know how well I am doing in life. Its revenge at its sweetest...

Then you haven't let go.

You know how to let go? Find the real person in that person you thought you knew. We don't really know what we think we know when it comes to people, even mates.

When you find that other person in your love interest, you won't like that person.

Now, that ain't all. Love and hate are similar if not the same emotions in terms of intensity. What you are looking for is indifference.

So, don't look too deep. ;)

for the most part, i think women are just evil. They can call it up any time they wish too...just evil.

Guess I have to count my blessings. Ran into an acquaintance who was in a similar situation as mine. I.e., married woman with three kids, none of his own, did everything to make their life better, became close to kids, then divorce after 16 months. And this poor schmuck bought her a 300K house trying to woo her back...against advice of counsel. While we were commiserating, my phone rang twice with invites from friends to get together for dinner. This guy just dropped his head saying "At least you have a support group...I have no one...my family has ostracized me and none of my friends will talk to me about it.' rEALLY SAD SITUATION.

No contact with wife. Got an email from cruise line that she has made reservation for spring break cruise in 3/11...going to Belize with twin dtrs, their bf's, and bf's mothers. What a trainwreck:rolleyes:

Headed to Atlanta later today with a bud. Gonna stop at Barbar Motorcycle museum in B'ham on the way back. Will post pics.