Weird things you've been told by a co-worker...

[T77911S]

me and my brother were at a 24hrs of daytona many mnay years ago. it was sunday morning and i went into a bathroom and saw it had a shower. i went and grabbed a change of clothes and went back and took a shower. when i stepped out to dry off, brian redmann stepped out of the shower next to me. when i realized who it was, he just does not look the same without clothes BTW, i was like , oh shoot, i better get outta here. i think i was in the drivers bathroom.

the only person i have ever told i took a shower with brian redmann was my brother, well, not anymore. oh well

[Evans, Marv]

Years ago when I was working at an education center, I as in the storage room and the secretary came in. She was a very proper, prim, married, and attractive lady. I imagine my face turned red when she looked at me and said, "I understand Marv's going to show us his tool." I just said I only showed my tool to one lady at a time (I was with my GF at the time who ended up being my wife). I never figured out where that came from and often wonder if I should have shown it to her.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by T77911S

me and my brother were at a 24hrs of daytona many mnay years ago. it was sunday morning and i went into a bathroom and saw it had a shower. i went and grabbed a change of clothes and went back and took a shower. when i stepped out to dry off, brian redmann stepped out of the shower next to me. when i realized who it was, he just does not look the same without clothes BTW, i was like , oh shoot, i better get outta here. i think i was in the drivers bathroom.

the only person i have ever told i took a shower with brian redmann was my brother, well, not anymore. oh well

It don't count unless you touched pee pees

[s_morrison57]

Was working in Mexico once, few times actually , and the whole crew went to the bar at the hotel, lots of chicks and Mike hustles this chick, buying drinks for her, close dancing, necking on the dance floor, that type of action, takes her up to his room comes back about 10 minutes later, and told us she was a guy, there are some things in this world, secrets, that just shouldn't be shared. We laughed at him for months.

[T77911S]

Originally Posted by tabs

It don't count unless you touched pee pees

thank goodness. george on seinfeld said it has to move

[fredmeister]

Big manager comes into the cube we share with 4 engineers. He needs to call another employee on the phone and asks if anyone knows his extension.....I said about 6 inches. I thought it was hilarious. cube mates busted a gut trying not to laugh and it did not do me much good for my career.
You hadda be there......and no I don;t know his extension from personal experience.....you pervs if that was your next thought.
ha,ha,

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by aigel

Do a search. There is some merit to this.

G

Well, I will be hornswaggled...

Paper Filters Reduce Cholesterol in Coffee


By DIPALI PATHAK
Baylor College of Medicine

Do you enjoy starting your day with a shot of espresso or an exotic cup of French-press coffee? Sticking to more traditional brewing methods that use paper filters may
be better for your health, experts suggest.
That’s because paper filters remove coffee oils that contain cafestol, a coffee-oil compound that elevates cholesterol more than any known dietary substance, said David Moore, Ph.D., professor of molecular and cellular biology at Baylor College of Medicine.
But while researchers have understood for awhile that cafestol elevates cholesterol, until now they didn’t know how it works to raise cholesterol readings.
In a report that appears in this month’s issue of the journal Molecular Endocrinology, Moore and fellow researchers describe for the first time how cafestol sabotages the health of coffee drinkers.
Moore and postdoctoral student Marie-Louise Ricketts found that cafestol hijacks a protein molecule in the intestine that helps regulate cholesterol. With the molecule gone, cholesterol production goes unchecked.
Cafetiere, or French-press coffee, boiled Scandinavian brew and espresso contain the highest levels of cafestol. None of those methods use paper filters.
Moore’s interest in cafestol began several years ago when his wife read an article about coffee’s effect on cholesterol. She suggested that her husband discontinue using a permanent coffee filter, and switch to paper filters instead.

[svandamme]

I'm sure i'm usually the one that comes up with the weirdest **** wherever i work...
So you'de have to ask my co-workers really

[WilsonTC]

Originally Posted by svandamme

I'm sure i'm usually the one that comes up with the weirdest **** wherever i work...
So you'de have to ask my co-workers really

+1 - I'm always putting my foot in my mouth ("Hey Mary...do those pants come in your size?").

[legion]

I used to sit by the "communications" team for my project. That's right, we had two people whose sole job was to write the e-mails and power points for the project. Anyway, I overheard one of the ladies say to the other: "I'm trying to add value, but I keep getting pushback!"

It was such an exquisite piece of corporate jargon, I put it on a t-shirt. No, I'm not kidding.

[Schumi]

Worked with a friend at a repair shop, he walks in and starts talking about the girlfriend. He says he's heading up to her grandparents place with her for some holiday. We then have the following conversation:

me: That's a pretty long drive isn't it?
him: About 120 miles.
me: That's going to take awhile.
him: naw, it should only take about an hour.
me: Damn. You're going to have to book it to get there in an hour.
him: I figure I'll just coast it around 80.
me:.... I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can't go 120 miles in an hour..... doing 80 miles per hour.

him: yea but you see there's not going to be any traffic.
me: oooooh.



I'll never forget that. I just walked off.

[svandamme]

had a similar one with my boss...
meeting in Chateau Neercanne, about 230 km from my house, 150 from his place

him : you know the meeting starts at 830 sharp, you sure you're not coming the night before and stay in the hotel?
me : nah, it'll be a fun drive
him : what time will you be leaving the house?
me : about seven'ish
him : hold on , serious now, what time . will you. be departing at your house
me : like i said, not before seven o'clock
him : whatever, i'm saying it again, the meeting starts at 8h30 sharp, you better not be late

FFW 2 days later, at 8h20

me (ringing the boss): I'm here, where are you
him :at the hotel, what time did you leave
me : like i said, about seven'ish, how far is your hotel? it's almost 8h30

[djmcmath]

Originally Posted by Schumi

me: That's a pretty long drive isn't it?
him: About 120 miles.
me: That's going to take awhile.
him: naw, it should only take about an hour.
me: Damn. You're going to have to book it to get there in an hour.
him: I figure I'll just coast it around 80.
me:.... I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can't go 120 miles in an hour..... doing 80 miles per hour.

him: yea but you see there's not going to be any traffic.
me: oooooh.

Had a conversation like that once. We were driving the submarine to the dive point, and I was in control, near the chart. The Officer of the Deck called down from the bridge to ask how far the dive point was. "12 nautical miles," replied the Quartermaster. A few seconds later, the OOD called back down: "Report current speed made good?" The Quartermaster checked the GPS and reported, "12 knots."

There was a pause. Then, "Quartermaster, Bridge, report time to the dive point?" The QM didn't miss a beat: "12 miles, 12 nautical miles per hour ... you do the math, sir."



As for weird conversations, there's no workplace conversation like the stuff that happens in the engine room on a mid-watch. It's a bunch of sailors, all male, who've been isolated from the real world for who knows how long. "So, Mr. Sir, if a girl offered you a thousand dollars so she could s*** on your chest, would you take it? How about if she wanted to pee in your mouth -- how much would that cost?"

Of course, the mid-watch experience to beat all ... we were in the Maneuvering area, which is the little control room full of gauges that you squeeze 4 guys into
to control the nuclear plant. And it's another incredibly dull mid-watch. I turned around for like 10 seconds to write some stuff up on the status board, and when I turned back, my electrical operator was stark naked, hanging out the side door, holding up his underwear and hollering down the hallway, "Hey Mark! Are these yours?"

Crazy times.

Dan

[stealthn]

Years ago I dated a hairdresser and went to meet her at the end of her day. I asked her from across a crowed room " how long before you get off?", she replied "Just one more blowjob and I'm done"

She meant to say blow-dry...

[legion]

Riding up in the elevator after lunch one day with two female coworkers and another mail coworker. One of the girls was going on and on about how she liked wood-paneled station wagons. Just then, the elevator door opens and she blurts out:

"Hey Jon, maybe you can sport a woody for Holly and I's enjoyment."

Then her face goes red, and in walks a vice president.

The remainder of the elevator ride was in silence.

[red911sc]

A LOOOOONG list from a guy that I have worked off and on around for 18 years but today he shows me a pic on his cell phone of his (overweight) aunt/girlfriend's inner thigh where a flesh eating virus has had it's way with about a 4" x 2.5" patch of skin. whadya say?

[DavidB911]

female:hey, did you get the register working?
me: no, its still down.
female:do you think we can get the money out of it?
me: yea you can try to pop the drawer with the key.
female: it usually doesn't work when i try to pop the drawer.
me: well, i usually have (another female lead cashier) pop my drawers for me.

i told that girl about it the next day and she busted up laughing, as did i that time and after i realized what i said the first time.

just today...
manager (female): you guys will need to check these melons if they are good or not (to me and a female coworker).... we kinda nod and that sort of thing
manager: you may need to poke them or something to check..
female coworker: ok, your incharge of poking the melons. (to me)
at which point i was laughing uncontrollably.
the rest of the conversation was lost on me.

[TerryH]

Me to the new parts inventory gal, Jill; "Jill, I need a new petcock for that assist cylinder."

Jill, "What's a pet cock?"

Me, "One that doesn't spit at you when you stroke it!"

[Laneco]

I know a guy - lets call him Bob - who makes self-locking fasteners for trucks (and other applications). I was meeting with a security/risk manager for a large company to review a group of safety topics concerning their trucks. As it was a face to face meeting, I intended to actually give him some of the Bob's fasteners so he might consider them for the company.

OK. Good. Unfortunately, here's what I said...

"Bob, I just want you to know that I will personally put your nuts in his hands..."

angela

[m21sniper]

"Your body armor makes you look fat."