Hay Barnie Fife! Git Off Your Butt And Make Me a Badge FCS!!!

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Total power tripping prick. He'd make an excellent parking enforcement cop or traffic cop.

[PorscheGAL]

Funny thing is: isn't he supposed to stop unauthorized people from going up? How many times have you been up without a card? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of a security guard?

[dhoward]

Compare the cost of his task to the cost of your time dealing with it.
Show your boss.

[vash]

his brother works with me!!! we call him "gatekeeper". this guy just slit his own wrist by comiing unglued and yelling and cursing out a nice lady co-worker, and made her cry. she handed out 4 surveyors vest that he got attached to. he has been missing for the past 2 days, trying to let things cool down.

i needed safety glasses, and he asked to see my old pair, to confirm the need for replacements...power tripping.

[Mr_Wizard]

The process for getting a new badge there needs to be fixed, but I always love just hearing one side of the story . This guy was just following procedure most likely regarding not receiving the email. You probably got your panties in a bunch because he would not accept your copy (procedure) & was not moving fast enough for your liking, after all you are far superior to Barney Fife. Now because of your douche baggery you are waiting for a new ID badge.

Solution: Do not loose your badge (and stop being so douchey).

Just playing devils advocate.

[Rikao4]

idiots when being idiots ..
love procedure..
it makes up for their lack of common sense..
and it gives them a place to hide..

Rika

[M.D. Holloway]

Finally got it. Funny thing is, I do cost analysis all the time. I could write a doozy in 10 minutes that would show he has affected the overall profitability of the company by reducing our gross daily profit by 15%!

Oh whats the sense, my boss would just say he gave it the attention it deserved...

[mikester]

We've got to show our bags on the way out the door where I work. It's ridiculous - half the time they barely look. I show them my laptop, they check my property pass on my ID badge and match the numbers. Then I show them the empty laptop compartment in my bag and put the laptop in it. Almost never do they check the contents of my bag.

Then, one day a guy takes it over the edge and empties my bag onto the security desk. He picks up my CDROM drive and asks me if I have a property pass for it.

I say, it's part of my laptop - i don't need one. He goes off on how he's not sure if I do or not - yadda yadda - I tell him to keep it. I don't need it tonight. Check with your boss and let me know in the morning.

He sends me on my way.

dork.

[jhynesrockmtn]

NO SHYT! Seriously, I can't remember how to breath some days.l I lose my freaking keys every other day, my wallet finds new places to reside, my watch will take a vacation to Gawd knows where every week or so...either I'm losing my freakin mind or someone is really screwing with me!

Underwear Gnomes

[Jeff Higgins]

Back when I used to ride my bicycle to work everyday, I met this guy's cousin. I was riding in through our main flightline guard gate. The guard was checking badges and inside parking passes on the incoming cars, and badges on the incoming pedestrians. He was waving his hands around, pointing at people and cars, waving them through, stopping them, blowing his whistle, and so on. He was so damn animated it looked like he was landing F14's on a carrier deck.

I pulled up and showed him my badge, and I swear he waved me through. We even made eye contact after he looked at my badge and (I thought) waved me through. I got about ten yards past him and he hollared "HALT!!!" loud enough to stop all factory and flightline operations... I had my back to him, already riding away, already cleared by him to enter. Or so I thought...

Next came "YOU ON THE BIKE - HALT!!!!", so I turned around to look. He was running after me (o.k., more like waddling) and drawing his gun. So I stopped. By then - about 15 yards into his waddle - he was too out of breath to do a proper job of it, but he did his best to tear me a new one anyway. I appologized and explained I thought he had waved me through. He was having none of that and kept on chewing me out between big, gasping breaths. I sat there and patiently heard him out, and appologized again. He never did calm down, but finally told me to pay more attention next time and to get the hell out of there. I politley asked him if he was going to be o.k., or if he needed a ride back to the guard shack. Fifteen yards away...

[Heel n Toe]

Jeff, what was his reason for stopping you again and chewing you out... you said you showed him your badge... did he claim he didn't get a good look at it?

[Jeff Higgins]

Originally Posted by Heel n Toe

Jeff, what was his reason for stopping you again and chewing you out... you said you showed him your badge... did he claim he didn't get a good look at it?

He said he never waved me through.

[Heel n Toe]

Drawing his gun just to hold you while he waddled over to tell you he didn't wave you through, but then waving you through?

L O L ...amazing... great story.

[924slover]

I hate rent-a-cops with a HUGE power trip. sounds like everyone of our town cops around here. The mall cops around here are absolutely ridiculous.I am in a way a rent a cop because i work the gate for our resort but im not really security so im ok..

[Looking_for_911]

I held off on responding to this one to see if anyone ever got revenge on their own "Fife.'
Well, a few years ago my mother worked for a trucking company.
They had a security guy there that'd make all I've read about here pale in comparision. He was King of the A-holes! He'd verbally abuse the employees, flirt outrageuosly to the point of sexual harassment with the women, and generally do everything but his job.
One of the things he did was raid the refridgerator in the break room on his overnight shift.
Mom and the girls she worked with were always making cakes, pies, etc. and leaving them overnight for the next day's snacks, lunch, etc.
Well, Ol' Fife had caught on to this practice and started cleaning out whatever they left. They knew it was him because he was the only one with a key and access to their office at night. They complained to security, their bosses, etc. but he still persisted.
So, they got together and made a chocolate pie using Ex-Lax as the "active" ingredient.
They removed one slice and left the rest in the fridge.
Like clockwork the guard comes in and cleans it out.
He was off work for three days. Presumably on the toliet.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by Looking_for_911

...
One of the things he did was raid the refridgerator in the break room on his overnight shift.
...

Had VP of Sales whose solution for those folks was Cat Food sandwiches.

[Icemaster]

Took and emailed pictures on my blackberry of her (it was Bernice Fife) and the facilities manager smoking on the buildings dock. Under the "No Smoking" sign. After OH passed the "no smoking within 100 feet of a building..." law couple of years ago.

They both disappeared.

[911boost]

Wow, some of you folks need to chill out (except Jeff, he should never have removed his gun, and I would have fired him, or made sure he was fired).

Most of the time, the guys the Security folks report to within the organization are total jack asses, and are the ones that are so strigent with the badge rules. Depending on the type of badge, I'd say $5 is pretty fair to charge. You would be surprised at how many steps it takes to activate a new badge when replacing an old one, once again depending on the system (LENEL, CASI, Honeywell, etc.). It can be a huge PITA, and the badges aren't free.

Personally, I wouldn't have let you in the building without your badge. I'd have made someone come escort you into the Treasury area. What if you had been fired for work place violence, harrasment, etc. One would assume that the Officer at the front would be notified, but HR makes mistakes sometimes.

Yep, I have sat a front desk, don't do it anymore, and its been a long time, but I could bore you all for hours with stories looked at from the other side of the desk.

And no Legion, I don't work for G4S (Wakenhut's new name).

[M.D. Holloway]

found my old badge...it was at the bottom of my bag...yup, I'm a douche