Any reluctant fathers out there?

[berettafan]

Originally Posted by JeremyD

Baby making sex is the best - you have that whole new level of danger, importance, joy and fear all rolled into one.

well....without getting too graphic there is also first few weeks post birth sex where the doc says to give the ol' happy place a break. slick willy wouldn't call it sex....but by my definition it most certainly is!

[herr_oberst]

Reluctant father? Mine. Because I see him in so many of my ways, I will never have kids.

[willtel]

Well, I am staring over the edge of the slippery slope. My wife is pregnant and the due date is August 28th. No one has mentioned any type of return policy if this doesn't work out...

[pwd72s]

You are off to an adventure...

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Changed my life for the better and I wouldn't be where I am today if not for what I learned from (them).

Could not agree more. Interesting in that my daughter is finishing her first year in college, happy and doing very well, and my son will be a senior in HS next year...and the thought of NOT being a full time father is bittersweet at best. I love their freedom but will miss their daily presence, the noise, the sound of busy lives: them.

Willtel, the journey will soon not be about you. Saddle up, enjoy the ride. It is over far faster than you can imagine.

[mossguy]

What Paul and Paul said!

[Rikao4]

a toast to all you dads & soon to be muttering too self fathers...

Rika

[syncroid]

Originally Posted by willtel

Well, I am staring over the edge of the slippery slope. My wife is pregnant and the due date is August 28th. No one has mentioned any type of return policy if this doesn't work out...

You are begining the adventure of a life time. You won't regret it. My wife and I had our daughter 12.5 years ago. (I was 37 when she was born) I had my reservations about it before she was born and have no regrets now. She is the best thing that came into our lives.
Congratulations to you and your wife!

[look 171]

Originally Posted by Rusty Heap

I didn't mean to come across as a grumpy old fart in my first thread, and I know that's how 95% of you took it.

Back to the original post and the intent.

you're in your mid 30's, are you ready to still have kids in the house and putting them through college in your mid-late 50's and into your 60's?

Are you ready to be strapped down financially taking care of kids till they're 18?

And as the prior couple posters said before this, NO they don't come with a Warrenty, and I personally know SEVERAL people who wish they hadn't had kids.

They don't all come out of the oven perfect skin blue eyes and blonde hair.

Of 3 or 4 couples I know that I'd call close friends, all their kids have major mental/physical defects.

One child was born blind, 10% vision.

Another couples kid is seriously physically deformed, grunts or can't talk and will never walk nor use his hand, everywhere he goes is in a push cart that the parents have to give 110% of their time day and night, in the bathroom and shower and everywhere.

One other couple has to give their kids 12-15 different pills a day to keep mental issues in check, Same kid 17 year old girl has been pregnant twice, and wrecked at least 2 - 3 cars a year. They have to keep locks on the fridge and food cabinets and the parents lock their own bedroom door at night. Kids keep saying they hear voices and see shadows. Kicked out of several schools and bascially have no social skills and will never hold a normal job.

Downs Syndrome, maybe MS, mental / physical deformities, financial challenges, and other sacrifices.........yup, parenting is something to go into with your eyes wide open.

So............be ready for what-ever comes out of the womb. Could be heathy and fine, could be your worse nightmare that is in your care and responsibility for the next 18 years or the rest of your life.

Sure why not, roll the dice and see what happens. I often wish we would of had kids 20 years ago when I married my wife, but if you're in your mid 30's or like me in my mid 40's, no way I want to be going to a high school graduation when I'm in my 60's.

Just some things to think about, it's a no guaruntee situation.

there are so many that grow up to be upstanding, wonderful kids with good grades, caring, and want to be an upstanding citizens of our wonderful world.


OP,

I didn' have them until I was in my late 30s. They are my little buddies. My older boy (5 now) and I build things together. We even visit my construction job sites together sometimes. When you have your kid, hold them whenever you can. When they turn 3, it happens real fast, they don't want you to hold them any longer. They want to go and play. Holding them now takes a little effort to catch them. It takes even effort to get them to stay put so you can rap your arms around them just like when there were small.

You will be fine.

Jeff

[peppy]

Hold on a second I may change my mind. I took my 4yo to have new ear molds for his hearing aids and he lost it. There was nothing I could do he just screamed and cried like we were killing him. I had to hold him down ( that little turd can squirm).

[KarlCarrera]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Willtel, the journey will soon not be about you. Saddle up, enjoy the ride. It is over far faster than you can imagine.

Three sentences. Perfect.

Karl
88 Targa

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by willtel

No one has mentioned any type of return policy if this doesn't work out...

see, the kid isn't even born yet and he/she is teaching you life lessons...

[campbellcj]

I don't know if reluctant describes how I felt but certainly scared crapless...and also you naturally question your suitability for the job ahead.

We were married around 12 years before having our first child - he is now 9. While there are of course stressful and frustrating moments along with way, no question it has been a blessing and one of the greatest things in my life. About 1.5 years ago we adopted our daughter and she is a real smile-generator as well.

[billybek]

From the length of time from the original post to now, it looks like you at least got to poke some fun at her for a while....
Congrats! I was 44 when my little guy was born. I wouldn't trade it for anything... Well maybe a 959.... No, no no. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
One funny thing he said to me when I asked him what was going to happen if he kept doing something I asked him not to. He said "there is going to be trouble". I laughed so hard, I had tears streaming down my face! (he is three now)

[BlueSkyJaunte]

Do it. Early and often. Anyone with the intelligence to participate on a Porsche forum will only raise the average with their offspring.

For you soulless child-hating monsters, please feel free to continue to NOT procreate. That's a win-win situation for everyone.

[Jandrews]

Kids in general are not that great.....YOUR kids, on the other hand, are simply the greatest experience you can ever have on this planet. Easy? No, but worth every minute.

I was 37 when I had my first, and like StomachMonkey, I wish I would have done it sooner.

JA

[azasadny]

We had out 1st child when my wife and I were both 29. she was ready for the family thing earlier than I was but after I came back from Desert Storm, we decided it was time. Now, our son is 19 and our daughter is 15. The days go by slowly, but the years fly by!! I'm thankful we have our kids!!

[fastfredracing]

Whatever fears and uncertianity you have right now, will be erased from your head the first time you lay eyes on your newborn child. I was blown away, and I felt my life change instantly at that moment. I have lived a good life, and chased most of me dreams, but none of them compare to the feeling of being a father. He is my best little buddy, and the most important thing in my life. You'll see. I no longer wonder what I am doing here, it has become very clear.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by willtel

I'm just trying to get my head strait on this and want a little advice. I'm in my mid thirties and got married to a fantastic woman about a year ago. I knew when I popped the question that she wanted children but I have always been a little ambivalent about the thought of having children. I understand what it means to my wife so I'm willing to give it a shot but I will admit I am nervous about it. I've heard people say that they don't like any children but their own but this isn't really something you can test the waters on, it is all or nothing.

Was anyone else in a similar situation to myself that now has children? How did it work out for you?

It's a heck of a roller coaster ride. More work, stress, and frustration than you can imagine. But you will be rewarded beyond anything you can imagine. I raised my stepson from the age of five. He wasn't my first priority, my relationship was initially with his mother, not him. But I discovered my relationship with her was strengthened by the time I spend with him, and I began to see it as a privilege to be given the chance to raise a young man. I taught him how to drive. How to tie a tie. Rebuild a VW engine. Shoot a gun. Treat a girl. Those are experiences I will treasure for the rest of my life. Now that he is an adult, to see his infectious grin, listen to the wit and charm in his voice, know that this incomparable human being loves me - me. I often ask why/how I was ever so blessed.
Now there are grandchildren and it just gets better.
A confession: In 1985 he asked to take his date to their prom in my Speedster. The lights weren't working and I was busy blah blah and I said no. To this day that is one of my biggest regrets. If I had it to do over i would have worked night and day so my son could take his date to the prom in my Porsche Speedster. Like I said, it's a roller coaster.

[TheMentat]

My wife was pregnant when this thread was started, and my daughter is now almost a year old. All I can say is wow. I feel like I squandered a lot of the spare time I had before. That being said, I don't regret the change one bit.