Having children at age 39 and 41

[Oh Haha]

Ya gotta yourself one question:


How's your back?

[mikester]

Why are you typing on this board instead of trying to knock that woman of yours up?

I wish I had started earlier but for my first I was 31 and for the second I was 35. My wife is a few years older than me but I don't remember how many.

I say, get to it and drink lots of fluids. Excuse me, I've got to get my terrors to bed so I can try to get my wife out of her clothes...=-)

[cgarr]

I am 51 and have a 19yo 17yo and a 10yo then I found this site!

[Tobra]

Originally Posted by ErVikingo

my first at 38 and second at 40. Maturity helps but medical risks are higher.

Exactly, read up on Down's

[porsche4life]

Originally Posted by cgarr

I am 51 and have a 19yo 17yo and a 10yo then I found this site!

So how olds the one on the right? She looks about my age.

[enzo1]

I can't have children, wish I could, You can, enough said.... do it! don't think about it

[robs944]

Wow what a timely topic! I rarely post but this is a subject that hits home, I am 39 and she is 36 and we are working on our first. I have felt the same concerns as John D.
We are both very healthy and stable and understand the changes and commitment hopefully coming our way.
It's good to see such positive comments and support form everyone (great pics also)!

All I can offer John D.
- From your post it sounds like the both of you already know that having a child is the right thing for you, the concerns may seem silly to you but I think the positive outweigh the negative.

Good luck and keep us posted

[jyl]

I'd think more about the medical risks and personal decisions that they may require.

Age alone - no problem. I know plenty of people in their 50's with kids 10-14 y/o. I'm not too far off that myself and my wife is there. Later marriages, later pregnancies, second marriages, fertility technology - all those things are leading to more people having kids at older ages. You will not stand out at all.

[JavaBrewer]

Originally Posted by jyl

I'd think more about the medical risks and personal decisions that they may require.

This is the biggest issue and hits home for me. Just a couple weeks back we had a 'scare'... I'm 47 and the wife is 44. We have two kids 12 and 10. I spent the 48+ hrs worrying about money and the what if's (downs syndrome) where the wife was thinking about holding another baby...you know the good stuff. If the baby had downs I know we would not abort and I was worried about how it would affect, negative and positive, the family dynamic. Mainly I was worried that I would not be strong enough to deal with the situation and too selfish to give 'it' all up.

In the end the 'scare' was just a 'scare'. I breathed a sigh of relief while the wife cried. Secretly I too was crying inside - well a little bit. I love my kids to death and could not imagine life without them. It's a very personal decision but as the prior poster stated "You will not stand out at all".

Best,
David

[aigel]

Originally Posted by jyl

I'd think more about the medical risks and personal decisions that they may require.

At that age the risk to mom and child isn't insignificant. Also, often the reproductive equipment isn't what it used to be, including the male part, so by the time you get pregnant you may be another 2-3 years older! The main issue IMHO is the significant risk for down syndrome. Yes, there are tests, but only when the kid is far along - you'll be stuck between a rock and a hard place.


source: Down Syndrome: Prenatal Risk Assessment and Diagnosis - August 15, 2000 - American Family Physician

If you would know for sure you can pull it off healthy, I don't see any issues with being an older parent.

George

[LWJ]

Excellent points all. I know a little about this. My oldest is 9, I was 34 when she was born. We adopted her after 5 years of infertility. Two siblings followed. When we adopted, a freind of ours, who was a single man of 50, also adopted. A couple in their fifties did so as well. From my perspective, being an older parent has been a zero issue deal for them.

As to the increase in medical issues and decrease in fertility, only you can answer this. Knowing what I know now, I would not conceive a child currently as my wife is 41. Adoption? Absolutely!
Good luck,
Larry

[911Rob]

I'm not an "old" parent, but I will say having kids is one of the greatest rewards in my life. Man meets women and has kids.... it's the natural way of things. I say go4it.

Secondly, I'd highly recommend at least 2!

Father of 5,
Good luck

[chocolatelab]

do it

i was 31 and my wife a bit older at the time, careful here....starts with the number between 3 and 5 and ends with a zero, when we had bryce

we were a bit edgy about the medical stuff but my oh my its great

pull the trigger!

more time in the sac and less on the board

Thats a good thing

[12own911]

Guys age is not the only issue with having a child with Down syndrome. I was 29 when my son Jordan was born. Guess what... he has down syndrome. The risks increase with age but the risks are always there. Jordan is great and I would not change him for anything. It is a challenge and a blessing.



I say try and see what happens. Good luck!

[jbryant]

I say go for it...it is very rewarding.
That said...I had children late and I wish I had more patience, energy, etc...and I know it will only get worse as I get into my 50's and they are turning ten.
On the plus side it is nice to be financially were I wanted to be instead of struggling as I watched my friends do in their 20's...most got behind and have never caught up.

[ben parrish]

I am 41 and my wife is 42. We have a six year old and a two year old. The kids will wear you out but they also will keep you young. I am glad that we had them later in life; our patience and maturity is better able to cope with the daily challenges that raising two exuberant girls bring. I love my children; they make me laugh and curse daily. My wife is the BEST mother a kid could ever have which makes my experience as a parent sooo much better.

I say go for it. Good prenatal care is paramount.

A funny thing happened recently to my wife. She takes our youngest once a week to our oldest ones school for a few hours. This is a Montessori school that really advocates family involvement in the learning process. My wife was helping the class with a project when two of the third graders came in the room to retrieve something. One looked at my wife, and very loudly said to the other kid, "What, is this grandparents day today?" My wife laughs about this every few days.

[cantdrv55]

We had Lucas at 43 for me and 41 for my wife. We already had a kid in his last year of HS when Lucas came. Age diff between the two is 17 years. I had way more energy to deal with the first boy that's for sure. I don't regret having Lucas though. He too has been everything I want in an offspring and then some (Down Syndrome).

[Fishman7]

I'm 39 and my wife 38, one child and he is 9; I just finished putting together a changing table today and rearranging the furniture, baby due Feb 14th! Man what was I thinking? I never look back only forward, life is too much fun and exciting; I say go for it!

[cgarr]

Originally Posted by porsche4life

So how olds the one on the right? She looks about my age.

She will be 18 this May: WHY?

[peppy]

I was 39 and my wife was 37 when we had our boys. Being older helped us make good decisions when we had to.