Dad, Whats a Vibrator?

[DonDavis]

Originally Posted by ossiblue

with those last two sentences you've just won the crown for Master of the Double Entendre!

Not the first time I've been accused of being 'Master of my domain".

Originally Posted by vwbobd

Now this made me spit water all over the place

Dude, seriously, you post THIS on THIS thread? Talk about "serving one up"! CRACK! Going going GONE!

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

freelance writer here in Dallas

She's rather atractive! Given her choice of writing topics, bet she'd be a fantastic woman to date! I'd get all "Forrest Gump" on that Jenny!

[slakjaw]

Hell Yes lube!

[DonDavis]

Originally Posted by red-beard

Those toys are illegal in Texas...

Not everywhere. There's a truck stop on I-20 somewhere west of Abilene that has an extensive selection. Or so I've heard.

[mossguy]

Originally Posted by red-beard

Dad? What's a "Dirty Sanchez" ?

Never heard of it. Googled it. Sorry I did!

Tom

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by DonDavis

Not everywhere. There's a truck stop on I-20 somewhere west of Abilene that has an extensive selection. Or so I've heard.

Vibrators for soothing muscles, etc, are allowed. But those for "other" purposes, are not. They had some women prosecuted for the "Girls Parties". Think Tupperware, but with vibrators.

Stupid really. I think I'd rather have our Police looking for murderers, than vibrators...

[onlycafe]

assault with a friendly weapon.

[porsche4life]

Originally Posted by red-beard

Vibrators for soothing muscles, etc, are allowed. But those for "other" purposes, are not. They had some women prosecuted for the "Girls Parties". Think Tupperware, but with vibrators.

Stupid really. I think I'd rather have our Police looking for murderers, than vibrators...

Lemme get this straight.... Can't own a vibrator in tejas? But that HUGE porn shop on the south bank of the RR is on the up and up? That one on I35..... thats messed up.....

[red-beard]

You can't own "Sex Toys". Just like you can't sell a "Bong".

[herr_oberst]

Can you still drink and drive with a loaded pistol in the seat next to you?

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

Can you still drink and drive with a loaded pistol in the seat next to you?

That is a rather stupid question.

Drinking while driving was allowed up the 1980's. You were not allowed to be drunk. If you are an adult, and can drink 2 beers, you could drink them in the car.

Driving with a pistol on the seat of your car was never allowed. You were allowed to have one in the glove box, IF, you were traveling. Traveling was never defined, and was generally up to the DA to decide. Commuting was generally not considered traveling.

Traveling is defined now, and basically, anyone can have a gun in the glove box now.

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by red-beard

Vibrators for soothing muscles, etc, are allowed. But those for "other" purposes, are not. They had some women prosecuted for the "Girls Parties". Think Tupperware, but with vibrators.

Stupid really. I think I'd rather have our Police looking for murderers, than vibrators...

Wow, seriously?!? Never knew that.

I thought texans prided themselves as one of the last bastions of personal liberty and freedom from government. I guess not.

[bivenator]

In Texas we have finally called a truce in the War on Sex Toys. The law was struck down in 08. The article indicated a number of states having similar laws with Miss. and Al. being the only others with active laws.

Texas Ban On Sex Toy Sales Overturned - CBS News

[red-beard]

I did not know that. Good.

[bivenator]

Why the relief James? Are you harboring contraband?

[red-beard]

Me? What would I need of such foolishness?

I'm just glad that our police have something better to work on, than something that stupid.

Gotta get one of those "remote" ones...hmmmmmm

[herr_oberst]

Originally Posted by red-beard

That is a rather stupid question.

Drinking while driving was allowed up the 1980's. You were not allowed to be drunk. If you are an adult, and can drink 2 beers, you could drink them in the car.

Driving with a pistol on the seat of your car was never allowed. You were allowed to have one in the glove box, IF, you were traveling.

Interesting - you tell me it's a stupid question and then you proceed to explain that, yes, you could drink and drive with a loaded pistol (within arms reach).
Let me ask you - was it a stupid question because everyone should know that Texans can (or could) do these things? Because, where I've lived, both of these are AT LEAST ticketable offenses, and depending on the attitude of the driver or the cop might just get you hauled into jail to think things over.
(However, BTW, where I live, sex toys are perfectly legal, and have been for decades, from what I understand)

I can just picture the scenario:

Cop has Red-beard pulled over on the highway:

Cop: Alright, let me see your license and registration. And put the beer down, I'm talking to you.

RedBeard: Let me get the registration - it's in the glove box.

Cop: (Shining the flashlight into the glove box) Hey nice pistol - what is that, Smith and Wesson 9mm?

Red-beard: Yeah! just got it! check it out (Hands the weapon to the cop)

Cop: Hey, that is nice! You know, you should really keep the safety on when you're packing heat like this - HEY, now! What else you got in that glove box? A dildo? OK, buddy, better make arrangements for someone to get the car, you're coming with me! Time for you to lawyer up!

Red-beard: Jeez it's not even mine, it belongs to my wife!

Cop: Okay then, we better bring her in too. You are both in a world of trouble now, good buddy. We don't appreciate this kind of kinky $hit from the likes of you!

[red-beard]

No, it is a stupid question. The question had implications, like Texans are ignorant, driving down the street drunk, waving a guns around. I explained what was allowed. You, ignorantly put the two things together.

So, when did your state pass an open container law? When did your state get "tough" on DWI?

[ruf-porsche]

Originally Posted by LubeMaster77

The boys have been talk'n.

While watching the History Channel last night our Son (almost 11) asked me "Dad, whats a vibrator?"

This is right up there with one of the more sensitive questions. I don't want to shrug off his questions yet I also don't want to provide him an answer that will be inappropriate. We have had 'the talk' about reproduction, anatomy, the sex act and orgasms - all done so in a straight forward, non-silly way that was no different than when I thought him how a combustion engine works.

"What do you mean?" I asked for more clarification. Maybe he meant that old fashion belt vibrators that were used in the 50's to shake the fat off your rump.

"We were talking at school and Johnathan said a vibrator was a fake penis. Why would you need a fake penis? Why would it vibrate?"

"OK, now I understand your question. Well, remember our talk awhile ago on how when men and women have sex that sometimes one or both have an orgasm?"

"Ya, the man pee's sperms and the women squeezes her...what is that called again? The hole part?"

"The vagina." I answer

"Thats the hole? I thought that was the entire thing?" He asks.

"The entire region down there is called the genitalia, the birth canal is the vagina but for simplicity you can refer to the complete unit as the vagina."

"OK so what does that have to do with a vibrator?" He asks.

"Sometimes women will look to have an orgasm with out having sex. Sometimes they use their hand to make them selves feel good while other times some women will use a vibrator that can be but not always shaped like a penis. It vibrates and they can quickly have an orgasm."

"And they touch that spot you told me about before and then it happens?"

"Yup most of the time. Keep in mind it is a very personal thing and should never be discussed with a girl until you are married to her."

"Wow...thats pretty cool. Turn the channel, lets watch MythBusters."

"Sounds good."


I know that at this age kids are curious. I don't want to provide mis-information yet I also don't want him to 'experiment'. You can't fight nature but you can try to postpone it...


I wonder if I did the right thing???

Subscribed

I know one of these days I'm going to have the same talk with my son.

[fingpilot]

I always LOL when I remember 'the talk' my Dad gave me. He got very serious one evening on the way home from the marina after a great day of sailing. Just the two of us, 48 foot Alden-Herreshoff cutter, off of Ventura. Silence broken only by the sound of the foam in the wake going by the cockpit at 7 knots.

He waited until we were on the way home (40 minute drive) in an MGA ('62 as I remember) at 70MPH with the top down to 'go specific' with me. It was so noisy from the wind buffet, I had no idea what the H he was saying, except that there was a 'dual purpose' to something vanilla that most girls had.

I caught every third or fourth word. I was 9 or 10. I remember it totally confused every concept I had of girls.

My Catholic GF (Thank you Jeesus!) filled in the blanks in 6th grade (pardon the pun).