How are you at maintaining friendships?

[cantdrv55]

I suck at it. I don't call, I don't make time for it and I'm not there when my friends need me. I'd like to say it's because I have a family, work and school commitments but so does everyone else. Am I just lazy and selfish and are you guys like me?

Two weeks ago, I ran across a buddy's email address so I dropped him a line. He emailed back an hour later with his cell and home number urging me to call. I still haven't done so. And this guy was a real good friend who I saw every Saturday during our club meeting. He and I used to trade emails and call each other at least weekly but I've since changed cell phone numbers and I never bothered to give him the new digits. No reason really; I just have a bad habit of losing focus and dropping off without warning.

Any of you guys like me?

[Talewinds]

Yep, in my experience that's pretty much how us guys do it, no worries.
I just got drunk with a buddy of mine a few weeks ago after going to the auto show. I won't see him, and will barely email him again until we go get drunk at the auto show next year.

[aigel]

Same here - that's part of moving and not staying in the same town / job. It is ok to lose touch these days as you are so easily found again when needed. I have a lot of 2 phone calls a year friends who I can "turn on" full time friends as needed, i.e. when moving back in the same area or going for a vacation together.

George

[dd74]

Lousy. That's one reason I have no friends...ur...except for you guys.

[look 171]

You don't call anymore?

Don't worry, you are normal and a real man. An old friend (we go back 25 years)kept calling everyfew weeks for the last 3 months when he/they were in the neighborhood with their new baby. I never return their call because we were out and about in the weekends. Last week he called because he was again at his parents who live about 3 miles from us. He caught me because I was clearing gutters. He dropped by like nothing happened. We laughed and had a couple of beers just like the good old days. don't worry, Most guys couldn't careless about stuff like that. If they are your friends, they wouldn't care. When you really need them, they will be there for you in a heart beat. When they need me, I tell em' to fuch off. Simple.

[rnln]

I have friend never call, but once in a while call to say hello. Once in a while can be once a year.
Also, I have friends who call just to BS every day. To this, I don't see any problem that you don't return call when you are not in the mood.

[onewhippedpuppy]

I have several very good friends that I maybe talk to twice each year. One is on the east coast and one on the west, we always make an effort to meet up when either of us is anywhere close. Still good friends, we just don't talk all that much. Another friends lives only a few hours away but we talk weekly, he likes to talk on the phone during his long daily commute. Different strokes I guess, but we do a good job of getting together as a group at least once every year.

We're guys, it's in our DNA to not like talking on the phone. Hell, I only talk to my brother maybe twice every year.

[jyl]

I was going to contribute to this conversation, but I decided not to bother.

[m21sniper]

Perhaps i'm crazy, but i actually call and hang out with my friends.

[Hugh R]

I have an ex-BIL whom I get together with a few times a month. I'll call and leave a voicemail to see if he's home. If he's busy doing something else, he won't bother to call back and say "I'm busy". I think the guy is a toad. I have to use up good will capital with the wife to go visit him. So I'm not going to drive over to his place just to see if he's home.

[equality72521]

Damn, I thought I was the only one like this. Seriously.

[Seahawk]

Still good friends with 3 guys from High School...we see each other at least once a year...we're all on the east coast now so it's easy. We never miss a beat, much mirth all around.

We email each other once a week or so, standard funny stuff we find.

We are all meeting in South Carolina in March...

[VaSteve]

I feel a little more normal now after reading this. If it weren't for these forums, I don't know how I'd keep up with folks. I do such a terrible job with keeping up with friends not on the forums.

[porsche4life]

I graduated HS last may... I'm rooming with a guy that was a year ahead of me so I see him... I was close with one of the girls and I have seen her maybe 5 times since graduation.... We exchange text messages very rarely... I have seen 2 or 3 other class mates since then... I hate to be this way but I didn't much care for the people at HS.... I mostly ran around with my GF and her friends from another nearby school... So when I split with her...... I suck at making friends... My friends in college consist of the girls that I go study with and the other girls I have met in the dorms from spending so much time up there.(3 or 4 nights a week....)

I seriously keep in closer contact with guys I met in the PCA and guys here and count them as better friends than most of my "friends" from HS....

[berettafan]

Originally Posted by VaSteve

I feel a little more normal now after reading this. If it weren't for these forums, I don't know how I'd keep up with folks. I do such a terrible job with keeping up with friends not on the forums.

me too.

[vash]

why are we even responding to this thread? cantdrv55 isnt even going to check back...

[TechnoViking]

Facebook is good for guys, for this very reason. It can be completely passive. You just check in from time to time and see if anyone had a major life event or whatever.

[onewhippedpuppy]

I graduated HS last may... I'm rooming with a guy that was a year ahead of me so I see him... I was close with one of the girls and I have seen her maybe 5 times since graduation.... We exchange text messages very rarely... I have seen 2 or 3 other class mates since then... I hate to be this way but I didn't much care for the people at HS.... I mostly ran around with my GF and her friends from another nearby school... So when I split with her...... I suck at making friends... My friends in college consist of the girls that I go study with and the other girls I have met in the dorms from spending so much time up there.(3 or 4 nights a week....)



I seriously keep in closer contact with guys I met in the PCA and guys here and count them as better friends than most of my "friends" from HS....

I'm still friends with exactly one friend from high school, and I've been friends with him since I was three. All of my current friends are from college or beyond. I don't think the shallow nature of high school is condusive to lifelong friendship.

[Oh Haha]

Originally Posted by dd74

Lousy. That's one reason I have no friends...ur...except for you guys.

me too.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

have 6 friends from college and about 20 friends that I stay in regular contact with: phone, email, skype, dinner, car work days, regular visits in NYC. I would be nothing without my friends.