"I would marry that woman."

[Schumi]

That's what I said to myself last night. This will be my third thread in this series dealing with a woman named 'C'. Many of you are veterans of these threads. Let's do some prefacing here. My first post in each of these threads gives an overview of the situations... starting with the first thread:

guys, I think I found "the one"..

Summary: at that time, I was struggling with being in a 'friend' relationship with a girl I was pretty damn sure I loved. Over the course of a few weeks after my initial post, I made some progress with the relationship and it was made obvious between the two of us that we had that 'something special'

The one that's getting away...

Summary: 3 months had gone by and our work schedule and distance were getting heavy. She is on her way to become Dr. C, and I, at that time, was on my way to become Dr. Schumi. Hers medical, mine engineering. We both worked other jobs outside of getting degrees- she works as a waitress and I was a college instructor and did 50 hours of research a week. We had little time even to talk. Neither of us ever saw other people however.



Fast forward to recently. I had a rough patch of life a few months back that she really helped me get through. Kicking some habits, et al. We'd been talking more and whatnot. She was the main person pushing me on with this job interview process that I had been going through.

Just last night, I decide to give her a call to let her know the big news, as I hadn't had a chance to tell her. I got the job, and I was moving to LA in July. She was happier for me than I was about it... but the entire time I was kinda saddened by the fact that I wouldn't be able to see her anymore. I had planned on staying in the St. Louis area and, with the conclusion of my racing and research in June, be able to start a serious relationship. But moving to LA throws a wrench in that. Probably permanently.

So we talk about it. She's all excited, asking about where I'm going to be living and what all I'll be doing, etc.. and I finally slip in and the end of one of her sentences this big line:

I wish I could take you with me.

I know right?! Like something out of a fuggin Young and the Restless episode.

Theres a pause on the phone.. a moment of contemplation? Perplexion? The C says:

Well, there are medical schools in LA.

..... woah. Mind F'kin blown.


No need to discuss the rest of our talking, but after this two hour phone call, I was floored. Whenever we go a week or two without calling each other, and then finally do... it's ridiculous. I mean.. it's finishing each other's sentences kinda mushy ****. I bought this new laptop... and I'm telling her how it has a magnesium alloy chassis. C immediately breaks in with "...and you love magnesium alloys!" oh yea, I'm in love with this girl. She knows I love mag.



So that's where we're at. I mean.. it's a deep trench if we went down that route. Living together... the long haul.

But I sat in my car after that phone call and said to myself "I would marry that woman". Only girl I've ever thought that about for longer than 2 seconds.


And before the PPOT braintrust hones in on the detail that yes, I just got a high paying job in CA and yes, she did all of a sudden mention living out in CA, presumably with me.... I know where you are going with that thought and that's not an issue- she is worth much more than I ever will be. Millions more. Family money, she's set for life. So don't go there.


Anyways I'd figure I'd update you all on this wonderful saga. For your entertainment. It's tough to say what I'll do next. Most likely this will end in us being separated for years and her finding someone else. But we both have time off to spend with each other next month before we will go our separate ways.

And yes, all of these three postings were fueled by some amount of boozing.

I'll post pics of us together next time we see each other. I haven't any recent photos.

[Won]

I know that feeling and I'm happy for you.

[aap1966]

Originally Posted by Schumi

"...and you love magnesium alloys!" She knows I love mag.

She understands the attraction of metallurgy!

Don't let that one get away!

[Geronimo '74]

Wow Schumi, mind fukcing blown, I can imagine!
It's difficult (for me at least) to give advice on this.
What I can say is, that if you think/believe/hope you could mary this one, then don't let her get away.
I'm not saying you should mary her right away. (I'm not for this thing called marriage, but that's just me), but if she is prepared to come to LA, man, that is saying something.
Could it be that she feels somewhat the same as you about all this??
Maybe you should go with your gut feeling with this one.
But remember, it is better to feel sorry about something that you did, than to feel sorry about something that you didn't....
Good luck with this, I really hope it turns out for the best, for both of you!!!

[LWJ]

Schumi,

I have had a similar conversation with myself regarding a woman. It was my college girlfriend that was 1300 miles away while I was in Grad school. I chucked the scholarship, quit the teaching fellowship, packed the car and went to see her. That was Christmas 1988. Been married since 1991 and have never looked back, never regretted it.

Seems to me you know what is going on here and the posts are just to confirm everything.

Good luck. I am happy for you. Many many people are never lucky enough to experience what I have and sounds like you have as well.

Larry

[PorscheGAL]

All I can say is good luck. We hope everything works out the best for you.

[island_dude]

It seems like you have a live one. You have worked through some rough spots and know what that is like with her. Anyone willing to consider turning her life upside down to hang with you is pretty committed / interested in you. I wish you guys the best.

[javadog]

Originally Posted by Schumi

So that's where we're at. I mean.. it's a deep trench if we went down that route. Living together... the long haul.

Deep trench? No, that's what normal people do, every day. It's not very hard to do.

Originally Posted by Schumi

It's tough to say what I'll do next. Most likely this will end in us being separated for years and her finding someone else. But we both have time off to spend with each other next month before we will go our separate ways.

Dude, do you have a functional brain? Most likely, you should take her to California with you and get on with your life. Together.


It's really that simple...

JR

[GH85Carrera]

Congrats Schumi.

We all have to assume that you will live together in California. Moving in together is a big commitment, and you are MOVING in together. The stress of moving to another state is tough. You will be in a new place with no local friends. You will only have each other until you can make some new friends. In a year or so you will know for sure if you are a couple, or just ships passing in the night.

Good Luck.

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

Duktoor Schumi,

I know what you mean!!!! There is something special about sharing your life with a great friend who you love!!

GO FOR IT!!! Your posts about C are very thoughtful, you work your words around her. Don't worry about what others think, don't worry about anything else. When it is right, nothing else will matter!

AND a girl who gets what makes you happy will be a joy to be around. My advice to you is always remember what makes HER happy!! It works both ways. 100% from each of you!

[herr_oberst]

Nothin' like the feeling.

[red-beard]

Seriously, go buy a ring and do it. Tell her exactly what you've told us here and that you want to keep feeling this way the rest of your life.

And don't worry about the size or the quality of the stone. You're both working and you'll "upgrade" it soon enough. Lock it up!

[legion]

Originally Posted by red-beard

Seriously, go buy a ring and do it. Tell her exactly what you've told us here and that you want to keep feeling this way the rest of your life.

And don't worry about the size or the quality of the stone. You're both working and you'll "upgrade" it soon enough. Lock it up!

My thoughts as well.

A friend of mine was in a foul mood a few years ago. He said that his girlfriend was pressuring him to get married and they had gotten into a big argument over it. He was adamant that he was not ready yet. I told him that he was looking at the whole situation backwards. I asked him if it was worth losing his girlfriend over not getting married. (This was the situation he was in, though he did not realize it.) He told me "no". I then went on to say that by the time he felt ready, she would probably be gone.

I'm not saying you are anywhere near this point yet Schumi, but it can come fast and without warning. Also, I wouldn't go longer than a year living with this girl without getting engaged, because then you've settled pretty comfortably into dating and living together, and one of you might not want to change that.

[jyl]

I expect your next thread to be "what's the best magnesium alloy wedding band".

[GH85Carrera]

Originally Posted by jyl

I expect your next thread to be "what's the best magnesium alloy wedding band".

That is a good one. I wish I thought of that.

Maybe Schumi can have a CNC machined magnesium band with carbon fiber accents.

[Paul K]

Originally Posted by red-beard

Seriously, go buy a ring and do it. Tell her exactly what you've told us here and that you want to keep feeling this way the rest of your life.

And don't worry about the size or the quality of the stone. You're both working and you'll "upgrade" it soon enough. Lock it up!

+993.

Heartwarming story, BTW.

[Rikao4]

many never find the one..
some settle, dabble or keep looking..
looking for what..
Schumi she's right there..
would have ,could have,wanted too..
BUT..
But is for dummies & fools..
my lady was leaving for overseas..
she..we will write, call..it's not that long..
me. NO..were getting married & deal with the rest later..
that was almost 29 yrs ago..
I wish you both the same..

Rika

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by Won

I know that feeling and I'm happy for you.

Yep, BTDT...

Run with it and hope that it works out.

[crustychief]

I am happy for you. There is a lot of good advice in previous posts. Congratulations.

[Rick Lee]

The Germans have a great saying for this kind of situation - Wer zu spaet kommt, den bestraft das Leben.