eHarmony or Match.com for a friend's birthday gift?

[LeeH]

Anybody have experience with both services? eHarmony costs quite a bit more, but reviews I read seem to suggest their model results in better matches than Match.com. What's your experience?

[Danny_Ocean]

Hooker. Much cheaper in the long run.

[aigel]

Eharmony gets the better review from people that online date - who I happen to know. Luckily I found my harmonic match before internet dating ...

Cheaper would be to send them to craigslist!

George

[crustychief]

I met my wife on Match.com. I think e-harmony is way too restricted, as in you can't just browse around. I think they tell you who they find for you. I had a trial run with Eharmony, I went with match.

[HHI944]

Ummm let's put aside the comparison for a moment. I've not had a 'productive' relationship in a few years (What can I say, I enjoy being a whore and most women piss me off after about 2 weeks) If one of my friends bought me a subscription to one of those, they'd walk with a limp afterwards and have to note that they were 'incapable of producing offspring' on their own damn profile.

[Geronimo '74]

Originally Posted by HHI944

If one of my friends bought me a subscription to one of those, they'd walk with a limp afterwards and have to note that they were 'incapable of producing offspring' on their own damn profile.

+1 I would not be amused

[LeeH]

Originally Posted by Geronimo '74

+1 I would not be amused

My friend mentioned possibly signing up recently. He tends to be tight with cash when spending on himself, but is ridiculously generous with friends and family.

[Geronimo '74]

That is a different matter, I guess it would be ok then. You may proceed

[nostatic]

Depends on their personality. Match is massive, and is a total royal sampler. It also has *all* kinds of women who are looking for very different things in life. One has to learn to read between the lines and learn the "rules" of match/online dating to make any headway.

eHarmony is more constrained. I tried both (along with a few other ones line nerve.com/theonion.com personals) and did not like eHarmony. As noted above you're pretty much limited to who/how you can contact until you jump through a bunch of hoops. If someone is risk averse and wants that kind of structure then eHarmony is a good choice. If someone wants to do their own thing and control the communication, then match is better.

fwiw I met women on both. The longer term relationships actually came out of match rather than eHarmony connections, so I don't think their algorithms are that great. They do give (a woman especially) a sense of control and pace.

[Heel n Toe]

We know 5 or 6 couples that used eHarmony to find each other and who are very happily married today.

I know that's anecdotal evidence, but with the amount of time and research used to create it, it just makes sense it would be a successful tool for a lot of people... from the eHarmony site:

In 1997, after 35 years practicing as a clinical psychologist and counseling thousands of married couples, Dr. Neil Clark Warren had come to believe that there was a better way to find love than leaving it up to chance. He knew from his experience in clinical work that although some American marriages were ending in divorce, many others were deeply satisfying unions of two fulfilled individuals. He observed that, in many cases, the marriages that endured were composed of compatible people, while marriages that deteriorated often did so because the differences between the individuals became harder to resolve over time. What if he could define the traits most likely to lead to relationship success? Could certain characteristics predict compatibility and lead to more satisfying relationships?

Dr. Warren set out to test this theory in collaboration with Dr. Galen Buckwalter, then a research professor at the University of Southern California. They sought to identify the characteristics between spouses that were consistently associated with the most successful relationships. After three years of research and development, they successfully identified the key dimensions of personality that predicted compatibility and the potential for long-term relationship success.

More:

About eHarmony -- #1 Trusted Relationship Site

[nostatic]

My experience, mirrored by a number of others, is that all of them are a crapshoot and depend on the personalities of the people involved. Just because someone with a phd spent a lot of time on something doesn't mean it works. Trust me...i'm a doctor

Actually, are the 5 or 6 couples all Christian? Dr. Warren was a psychologist at Fuller and has a Masters of Divinity. My guess is that his algorithms may be more successful with those who identify/practice as Christians than those who don't.

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by nostatic

fwiw I met women on both. The longer term relationships actually came out of match rather than eHarmony connections, so I don't think their algorithms are that great.

That's fine if you wanna blame it on their algorithms, but that's not why those relationships didn't last very long.

They didn't last because you're a Poopiehead and those eHarmony women just weren't gonna put up with you.

[Heel n Toe]

Originally Posted by nostatic

...are the 5 or 6 couples all Christian?

Nope.

And you're still a Poopiehead.

[9dreizig]

Tell him to try plenty of fish. It's free and just as good as match IMHO

[red-beard]

I guess it all depends on what YOU want.

I used Match on and off from 99-03. During that time I met 2 women online that were keepers. Unfortunately, I met them just as I was moving from NY to CA.

If you use match as a way to meet people, fine, but don't get into long e-mail exchanges. Meet sooner rather than later.

I did meet an awful lot of women who wanted the same thing I did... At least in the short term.

[slakjaw]

My grandmother once offered to pay for match.com - I told her I was ghay just to get her to leave me alone. I do not believe in online dating. People are supposed to meet by accident.

[LakeCleElum]

So, you're buying Dueller a birthday gift?

[TechnoViking]

I prefer Match.

I tried eHarmony, but it was trying to pair me up with gals that were over an hour drive away. That's not the end of the world but what that tells me is that, at least in my area, there were not enough women close by in their database.

Add that to the method of browsing being very restrictive on eHarmony and Match is the clear winner.

[cantdrv55]

Last Christmas, my wife and I bought her sister an eHarmony membership. She scoured the inventory of guys and spoke to a couple of them but didn't feel a connection. She them bought herself a Match.com membership. She exhanged emails with maaaaany guys and decided to speak on the phone with just one of them. He has turned out to be a very decent dude. They are buying a house together now.

Match.com has a much larger inventory. They were my first choice but my wife thought eHarmony could help her sister find a soulmate because of their method of matching. Turned out to be too restrictive.

[sammyg2]

LOL, when I read the title of this thread all I could think of was you would be telling your friend, "happy birthday you big loser".

Yes, I am old fashioned. So what?