Daddy, Did You Ever Take . . . ?

[jyl]

Have you been asked? How did you respond? Or, how will you respond?

Interested in responses from those who never used (partook, inhaled, experienced, whatever you want to call it) as well as those who did, and no you don't have to classify yourself.

Understand, I'm not asking what the actual historical record is, but rather what the response is or should be when your child asks/asked.

[tabs]

Tell em the truth...being stupid is one thing but being a liar and hypocrite is quite another.

[Dave L]

tricky, I would like to say that I would be honest but I dont know. I think I would tell the story of how a friend of mine overdosed, went into a coma and died.

[Seahawk]

I simply used the tried and true method:

Kids, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether I broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with my marijuana party guests - I did. But you can't hold a whole family responsible for the behavior of one, sick twisted individual.

For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole family dynamic? And if the whole family dynamic is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our societal institutions in general? I put it to you, Children - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to me, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

Seriously?

I sat them both down individually when I felt they would understand and let them know I tried pot. My purpose was really twofold: First, admitting my past was a way of opening the discussion on how I viewed pot, how I saw it affect friends and why I think they should avoid it.

Second, I wanted to be sure they knew that I WOULD know if they tried it...that I wasn't a newbie, so to speak.

The look on each of their faces was absolutely priceless: YOOOUU???

They are great kids, they deserved to know and understand exactly why and how I feel about drugs.

[Groesbeck Hurricane]

Tell the truth. Personally, I never did anything. Never saw the need, always thought it was stupid. Lost some friends to it, couldn't stand to be with the ones who were dumb enough to waste time and energy on it. If it really made them that much more aware and smarter why did they never write a good book or create something artful or invent a new something or even get passing grades in school when they were on anything.

[M.D. Holloway]

I have been asked and told them the truth. I also explained that 'the reason why humans rule the Earth is because we learn from our parents - success and mistakes. Imagine the first person ever to try and kiss a rattlesnake? I bet his kids learned not to do that ever again! Booze, sex, drugs, guns, cars, life...you have to know what you getting into before you do it our you could get yourself into trouble that might ruin your life. Learn from your Mom and Dad.'

[fastfredracing]

I have pondered this same thing many times. I will tell the truth, ( maybe not the whole truth, I partied like a rock star in my late 20's early 30's). I also plan on taking my son to visit the grave site of two of my good childhood buddies who are no more due to their lifestyle choices.
I have watched quite a few good people hit rock bottom due to drug abuse, and there is no way I will let that happen to my kid. I plan on keeping him close to me and will encourage him to keep his eyes on the prize, and not to get distracted by all of the bad stuff that is out there.
Most of our childhoods were pretty safe, all we could get our hand on was pot and beer, but times have changed and hardcore drugs are easily available to young kids now days.
A couple that I used to be close to lost their 17 year old kid due to a heroin addiction. Sad stuff.

[red-beard]

Back in Massachusetts, one of our neighbors had 4 kids and the older kids were in High School. This couple were still basically hippes. The house they lived in was the commune house, except everyone else had left. In fact, we later found out that they weren't married. I think they were just the last 2 left, and kept living together and had kids, etc.

Anyway, they basically let the kids do anything, because they thought they would be hypocrits if they didn't. Yeah, that didn't really work out well. The kids were to the extreme in sex and drugs.

I'm not sure exactly how I'd deal with it with my kids, but I would make sure they know that this type of behavoir isn't acceptable, and why.

One of the problems I had with my neighbors in San Diego was the fact that most of them still smoked pot AND they did it in front of the kids.

[Superman]

I love that movie, Paul. Thanks for the laugh.

I agree with the folks here who are recommending a bit of candor, and to use the opportunity for instruction. The most important part of the dialogue wouldn't be your confession that you experimented. It would be your decision to not continue down that road, and the reasons why.

[Rikao4]

like fastfred BTDT..+have the shirt..
few yrs later I'm working in a trauma ER as a flightpara. trying to save them..
I recall looking at them and thinking..
that could be you..
have no kids,never wanted any..
BUT I have a boatload of nieces and a cousin..
they ask...I didn't glorify anything..
thankfully some listened..the other..
well she almost done serving her 10 yrs..
dealing and assault..
they will do what they do..
best you can do is let them know..
some choices will haunt or cause you/ your family..
pain and grief forever..

Rika

[MT930]

Yea but I did not inhale.

The truth is the best policy.

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by tabs

Tell em the truth...being stupid is one thing but being a liar and hypocrite is quite another.

Agreed!

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Superman

The most important part of the dialogue wouldn't be your confession that you experimented. It would be your decision to not continue down that road, and the reasons why.

Thank you, Jim...that was the real intent on my part. The best message.

[azasadny]

I tell them the truth, that I never did. But then I tell them about the "close calls" and why I stuck by my principles. My 18 year old son and the neighbor kid were just hired by our city for part-time work. Turns out a bunch of kids applied but my son and the neighbor kid were the only 2 to pass the urinalysis (drug test).

[bell]

"son....there's a time and a place for everything.......and it's called college" LOL

[jyl]

I'd be interested if any of you experimented, with a variety of stuff, and kept it up for many years, with good memories, no ill effects, no close calls, and no regrets at all? How do you spin that into a teachable moment?

[nostatic]

Can't comment on that. My teachable moments are pretty stark.

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Can't comment on that. My teachable moments are pretty stark.

Same here. Working in the rock and roll world for a while did not help any but guess I survived...

I still do drugs. Did some yesterday... had two margaraita's at dinner after a very long and very stressful day. It really helped.

Booze, iced tea and so on are all something that can legally be called a drug. It changes us from what we would be if we had only had say ice water to drink.

[gr8fl4porsche]

'Do you do drugs, Danny?'

"everyday"

'good'

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by jyl

I'd be interested if any of you experimented, with a variety of stuff, and kept it up for many years, with good memories, no ill effects, no close calls, and no regrets at all? How do you spin that into a teachable moment?

Yep..."work hard, play hard", but after 30+ years I'm beginning to slow down . I also know a TON of folks who are successful and have followed the same path with no regrets for the most part...corporate execs, attorneys, a cop, dentists, veternarians, business owners, self-made multi-millionaires, etc. I never hid it throughout my career, and as long as the "performance" was there (and I was VERY good in my field (IT)), it didn't matter to those I worked for (Fortune 500s), and they "knew". Anyone who partakes alcohol, then condemns other (no more/less destructive) forms of drugs are simply hypocrites imo. "Booze and pills and powders, you can choose your medicine" - Jagger/Richards. Queueing up for Sammy to call me a "mushhead"...flame-suit on

ps: Caveat...for the most part, I avoided the "hard stuff" other than experimentation many years ago as alcohol and weed were my "medicines of choice". Meth, Heroin (and it's cousin Oxycontin) etc., are another matter entirely and I have never run in those circles. I have also seen the "hard stuff" completely destroy lives (including tragic deaths). I have no advice for teachable moments...just my experience.