Need some advice, military leadership related.

[Hebrewhomeboy]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

Congratulations on the find. You deserve some happiness after all the other stuff.

Condolences on your mother.

Thank you, and thank you. I know I brought a lot of the drama upon myself by jumping into a questionable relationship right after my divorce, but I was young(er), dumb(er), and hadn't learned that hard lesson yet. As much as it sucked, I don't regret any bit of it, because I did learn a ton from it, and I grew up a ton, enough that I can appreciate what is truly good in life now. Thanks again.

[Hebrewhomeboy]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

If you had continued and aggravated your injury what you would have "told" your guys is you have no common sense. This was not life or death. It was a competition. It would make me worry about trusting you when my life depended on it.

You're exactly right. I'm just having a hard time accepting that I feel I failed my soldiers, however slight it is. I will learn from this, and always be prepared (including more warming up, haha) and show my soldiers that leaders can have faults, what's important is that a true leader quickly recovers from mistakes and continues to do the right thing.



I knew I could count on you guys, quick replies that are straight to the point. Thanks a million. I'm going to go watch a cheesy animal show with my wife and get some sleep. Thanks again, guys.

[emcon5]

Originally Posted by RNajarian

Lead By Example. A leader will set a good example in victory and defeat.

This bears repeating.

[carambola]

you want us to justify why you folded early when you knew you had more


we can't

[Crowbob]

Yep, you failed. Failure is inevitable. What I find interesting is that you set yourself up for it. Merely participating in the "Iron Soldier" competition is sufficient to demonstrate leadership. Destroying the competition to the point of personal injury is poor judgement. Especially when you didn't really care about the competition anyway. You accomplished the very opposite of what you intended. You also say that you knew in your heart you could have won the competition. So, it appears you were fooling yourself somewhere; fooling yourself that you could win, or fooling yourself that you didn't care. Both turned out to be false. You did not win and you certainly did care. But that's not all. You exacerbated your failure. Your platoon sargeant saying "Don't be so hard on yourself" is the affirmation you sought for yourself. It had nothing to do with you demonstrating leadership to your soldiers. Me thinks your consternation arises from some disengenuous motivation. But to me no matter; I admire your character and thank you for your service, sir!

[quicksix]

Read "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu. Then read it again.. and again..repeat until the lessons sink in.

[mikester]

Originally Posted by MRM

So you failed. Get over it. Dealing with failure is part of leadership.

+1

Do your officers ever explain their short comings to you?

[wdfifteen]

Nothing in life, not a war, a battle, a competition, a relationship - nothing - is a straight line from beginning to success. This is a great opportunity for you to teach your men this. To ultimately succeed you have to take the little setbacks in stride and keep your eye on the big picture. This is a lesson they need, and one that should have been taught to you before now.

[Hebrewhomeboy]

Originally Posted by carambola

you want us to justify why you folded early when you knew you had more


we can't

No. I hurt myself and I'm upset that I didn't push through my injuries to provide an example of mental strength to my soldiers. Huge difference. Enormous difference.


Anyway, it's bed time, the alarm clock is coming early tomorrow morning. Thanks guys, take care.

[HHI944]

First: Congrats on SSgt. in under 7, most of the guys I know that managed that did it through recruiting.

The best advice I can give is advice that was given to me by my first Top. 'There's a time and a place for everything, don't ACT like a hero' It breaks down to: If there's no real danger, don't endanger yourself by acting as if there were.

[Racerbvd]

Congratulations sounds like you are doing much better and in a better place mentally. And sorry about your mother...

On your back, as one who always pushed myself, I can tell you right now, that it does come back later in life in a big way, and when it comes to the back, yes, you don't want to chance that. I am currently dealing with back issues as a result of my actions in my younger days, and they want to open me up, but I'm not willing to do that until I have too. A good leader knows when to step aside, sure your father "may" have competed, and may have had an career ending injury, but that wouldn't be leading, that would have just been following.. It is good to know that we have people like you protecting our Freedom, thank you sir!!

[Evans, Marv]

A lot of good advise and commentary here as usual. It seems to me, and I'm frequently wrong, you seem to be presenting a rather one dimensional type of leadership to your men. A leader isn't only supposed to be the "pack" leader, but also able to utilize all dimensions of his personal resources and combine his with the resources of those around him. That is a way of magnifying the strengths of the group as a unit. I was in the Army many years ago as a draftee and only made E-4 by the time I got out. But I was in some leadership situations over quite a period of time, and it really, really taught me a lot about leading, setting an example, and trying to manage a group that performed well. One of the big things I learned at the tender age of 22 was being the "pack" leader didn't get it. I tried to lead by example, but learned to be perceptive to the group dynamics and the strong and weak points of those around me and manage the group based on those things. Being the iron man and expressing leadership based on that is only a small part of the picture. I used what I learned later on in life and it paid off. Thanks for your service and dedication and best of luck.

[RWebb]

people differ in their tolerance of pain - it's partly genetic, but I'm sure you can up your threshold with practice.

be sure you don't do something that will take you out of commission (so to speak) for an extended period

also figure out some stretches, massages, etc. to get you to rebound quicker

[Kaliv]

Originally Posted by porsche4life

Physically strong, and being a strong leader are not the same thing...

Definately something here. If you have to prove you are a good leader, then you're doing something wrong. I was enlisted for a few years and _thought_ I was a decent leader. But then I walked over the commissioned side, I saw it from a different view. You don't have to be the best at everything to be a leader.

Seems you're trying to lead by example, but sometimes there's just too much to be done to do that. And many times you have more important tasks as a leader than being the example. But you can always leader by character...and respect goes further that way. Showing good character in defeat many times makes you a stronger leader in the sight of others. Make smart decisions, not boastful ones.

[crustychief]

Originally Posted by mikester

+1

Do your officers ever explain their short comings to you?

Sage advice.
Sorry about your mom.

[mikester]

Originally Posted by Hebrewhomeboy

No. I hurt myself and I'm upset that I didn't push through my injuries to provide an example of mental strength to my soldiers. Huge difference. Enormous difference.


Anyway, it's bed time, the alarm clock is coming early tomorrow morning. Thanks guys, take care.

I've been thinking about this a little. I've never been in the military, I grew up an Air Force brat and my Dad retired at 20 as a TSGT. He was TSGT for a long damn time too. While I have no real military experience of my own outside of some time in Jr. ROTC (weak) I have focused a great deal of my life on leadership studies.

In a crunch, you know - like a war - you will have to fight through the pain.

You screwed up and got soft. You have now caught yourself lying down in front of the men you lead. Now you're getting all soft about it because you can't get over it.

I want you to watch this leadership video carefully and pay attention closely. There will be a test but I wont' be giving it - how you choose to move forward will be that test.

[Hard-Deck]

Homeboy,

Wow, I missed this thread last night.

As you know, I'm a SPECOPS Officer, I know team, physical fitness, winning and failure lessons.

It is a team event, be part of that team, congratulate the winner, stay with the team and keep training....TEAM....there's no "I" in team.

A leader always pushes himself, as you say.....during battle....

During training, in peacetime.....a leader stays smart enough to not hurt himself in training and miss the battle......

If you are still kicking your arse over this, go find an SF Soldier or Ranger and ask him how he deals with his failures and physical injuries. Every one of them that I know would be thinking of the future for their team right now and not themselves. Walk the talk.

Congratulations on your new wife and condolences on your mother.

Snapper Out.

[DanielDudley]

I have a friend who was a Ranger. He saved the life of his spotter, by carrying him out of action. In the process he destroyed his knees.

That would be a good reason to push on past the pain. As we get older, we have to learn our limits many times. The basic rule is that if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of others.

You did the right thing. In other circumstances, you would also do the right thing.

Looking forward to seeing your new 911 when the time is right. I seem to recall the old one was a White Coupe.

[futuresoptions]

You must build up your strengths to overcome your weakness.... mentally beating yourself up over this is just adding another weakness...

[Rikao4]

part of can do..
is knowing when you should not..
and when you must..
seems your stuck on I & me..


Rika