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Leadfoot Geezer
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
Posts: 3,046
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Soft as walkin' barefoot on an acre of tits.
Knocked around like a meat-filled Pinata at a Pit Bull party.
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'67 912, '70 911T, '81 911SC, '89 3.2 Targa - all sold before prices went crazy '13 BMW 335i coupe - current DD '67 VW Karmann Ghia convt. & '63 VW Beetle ragtop - ongoing projects |
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Heard down south:
I'm on that like a hobo on a soup sandwich and another: Excuses are like a$$ h0les, everyone has one but no one wants to hear it.
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Rick 93 968 (My summer car), 05 Cayenne S (My winter car), 79 924 (Wife's summer car), 02 C230k (Wife's winter car), |
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Used & Abused
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Sebring, FL
Posts: 924
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I'd bang that like a screen door in a hurricane.
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83 - 944, daily driver 62 - VW Karmann Ghia, never moving restoration "Oh Bother," said Pooh, as he chambered another round. |
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He's an fairly balanced guy - has a chip on both shoulders.
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Swapped my WRX Sti MY02 for a Porsche 911SC '83 Keep buying parts to make it look older. Mid life crisis is now in its 12th year. |
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Capitalist and Patriot
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freedomville
Posts: 1,923
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Why don't yah take a flying fuch in a rolling doughnut!
Horny as a 3 pecker rooster As worthless as tits on a nun (repost?) Simple yet effective: $hit fer brains Dumb as a stump Elbow-head, knuckle head-$hit head
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Former Test driver & Production Manager Singer Vehicle Design 2009 Cayenne GTS, '81 911SC RoW Targa (lot's of goodies), '86 535csi, '84 633 csi (turbo charged-sold) ![]() ![]() "Dream it, Believe it, Decide it, DO it " |
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Registered
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Taoos New Mexico
Posts: 661
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You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat!
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Robert. 1976 930/934 Turbo Carrera RRS, Cristine She can be evil but oooh so much fun ![]() ![]() |
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Make Bruins Great Again
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When it rains, the "mud" hits the fan.
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-------------------------------------- Joe See Porsche run. Run, Porsche, Run: `87 911 Carrera |
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AutoBahned
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here's a nice criss-crossed one:
does the Pope shlt in the woods? sometimes followed by: are bears Catholic? |
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Registered
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Another one heard down south:
I'm all over it like Tiny Tim on a Christmas ham. and He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
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Rick 93 968 (My summer car), 05 Cayenne S (My winter car), 79 924 (Wife's summer car), 02 C230k (Wife's winter car), |
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Registered
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Seattle
Posts: 5,824
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My favorite:
Sharp as a marble. Quote:
Oh, but there was at one time a legitimate three dollar bill. it pictured Santa Claus. = == There was, in fact, a legitimate $3 bill with Santa Claus featured on it. This was in a time when individual banks or states issued their own currency, during the 1850's. Some of the banks who issued the bill were: Howard Banking Company of Boston, the Central Bank of Troy, the Pittsfield Bank, White Mountain Bank, St. Nicholas Bank of Manhattan, and the Central Bank of NYC in 1852. And it was legal tender! ===
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'85 911. White - 53,000 miles bought 3-16-07. "Casper" '88 924S. Blue - 120k miles bought with 105k miles. '94 968 Coupe - White - 108,000 miles bought 9-28-17 '09 Cayman - Grey - bought 9-8-20 |
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Registered
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: chicago
Posts: 816
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sweating like a whore in church
so stupid ya cant find your butt with both hands |
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Registered
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Baton Rouge
Posts: 1,039
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Cold as Witches tit in brass brassier
Nervous as a long tail cat in room full of rockers Nervous as a whore in church Nervous as a pig in a sausage facctory Scared s__tless Ugly as homeaid sin \I'll be on you like white on rice So coonass you can look at a rice feild and know how much gravy it takes to cover it SO stupid could poor piss out of a boot if instructions were on the bottom So broke aint even got a window to throw it out of Sore as a 2 bit whore that had a $100 night So ugly could scare the stink off a gut wagon Tight as dicks hatband, So tight could crap out a diamond |
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Registered
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Baton Rouge
Posts: 1,039
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Up to my elbows in alligators
Beat you like a red headed russian step child Gotta pee like a Russian race horse on steriod Refering to working hard, "nothing but elbows and a__oles" Speaking about trying to get out of trouble or somthing said "Stop your damn crawfishin'" Cause a preacher to loose his religon Enought to piss off a preacher |
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Garage Queen
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Here in this area of SC, it is hotter than any other spot in the southeast most days. Here people say
Columbia is the backdoor to Hell
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Stephanie '21 Model S Plaid, '21 Model 3 Performance '13 Focus ST, Off to a new home: '16 Focus RS,'86 911 Targa 3.4, '87 930, '05 Lotus Elise, '19 Audi RS3, |
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least common denominator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
Posts: 22,506
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Couldn't drive a needle up their ********* with a sledge hammer.
(Heard on Mark and Brian)
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Gary Fisher 29er 2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone ![]() 1995 Miata Sold 1984 944 Sold ![]() I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo. |
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Make Bruins Great Again
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Seems like a ton of analogies have a certain personality type in them so I've come up with a new one:
As frequent as a whore analogy.
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-------------------------------------- Joe See Porsche run. Run, Porsche, Run: `87 911 Carrera |
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Registered
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Kenbridge VA
Posts: 4,283
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More excuses than carters got pills.
Like trying to push a rope.(ED) So bucktooth he/she could eat an acre of corn through a picket fence.
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Peppy 2011 BMW 335d 1988 Targa 3.4 ![]() 2001 Jetta TDI dead 1982 Chevette Diesel SOLD ![]() |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Lacey, WA. USA
Posts: 25,310
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That'll go over like a turd in the punchbowl.
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Man of Carbon Fiber (stronger than steel) Mocha 1978 911SC. "Coco" |
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Make Bruins Great Again
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"...like a fiddler on a roof"
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-------------------------------------- Joe See Porsche run. Run, Porsche, Run: `87 911 Carrera |
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Member
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: CA Excape now in free TN
Posts: 96
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The whole nine yards
Blood out of a turnip Clear as mud Not the sharpest tool in the shed Dressed to the nines This is a real S#!t show Dumb as dirt
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'78 930 '01 TT Quatro '01 Golf TDI '03 Jetta TDI '02 Jetta Wagon TDI '67 Fiat 500 '96 F350 Turbo diesel F108 Porsche Diesel Tractor And a barn full of projects '57 Isetta, '72 914 1.7, VW bugs '68 & '70 All waiting for restoration |
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