Colonoscopy Tomorrow

[Hugh R]

Originally Posted by TimT

There..... Is that to[o] difficult?

No it isn't, and thank you.

[Tobra]

They give you propafol or versed and you won't realize any damn thing Sid.

[porsche4life]

Damnit Doc! You ruined the joke....

[GH85Carrera]

Just like eveyone else said, the night before is the pain in the butt. The procedure is no big deal.

[Rot 911]

I have had three. Like everyone else pointed out, cleaning out the pipes is the worst part. I have discovered I could quickly become addicted to propofol. Makes you feel like you had the best sleep ever.

[GH85Carrera]

Isn't propofol what killed Michael Jackson?

[pavulon]

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

Isn't propofol what killed Michael Jackson?

No...MJ was killed by the ignoramus that decided to use it on him to induce/maintain routine sleep. That being said, Propofol has become a prominently abused med. in the anesthesia world...a couple years ago we had a gal last 1.5 days here before being found in the admin. bathroom laying on the floor hooked up to a syringe full of it. It's a great med...when used as intended.

Using propofol for sleep is similar to using chemo meds because you need a haircut.

[GH85Carrera]

OK it was only the instrument of death.

I am sure it is safe when used as intended. No doubt alcohol has killed more people trying to get some sleep.

[Rikao4]

while these procedures are now considered 'routine'..
pay attention to how you feel afterwards..
a brother here lost someone he loved deeply..
and if your not right..(dizzy,weak,pain...
this may take a few hrs or a few days..
let them know you had this done..

Rika

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by Rikao4

while these procedure are now considered 'routine'..
pay attention to how you feel afterwards..
a brother here lost someone he loved deeply..
and if your not right..(dizzy,weak,pain...
this may take a few hrs or a few days..
let them know you had this done..

Rika

advice well given!

[AirKuhl]

I had it done a while back. Here are my comments and suggestions.

1) They will give you 2 gallon jugs of some liquid some hours before the procedure. You'll be drinking it and thinking, there is no way I can finish all of this, but you'll be a trooper and do your best. Bring a book, it gets boring.

2) While drinking this stuff, you'll eventually feel a little gurgle and rumble in the tummy. Won't be a big deal.

3) At this point I strongly recommend that you stake out exactly where the nearest bathroom is, that you are familiar with what type of belt and pants fasteners you are wearing, and have a clear path to said potty without any old people, dogs or small children in the way.

4) Remember that gurgle I mentioned? Right about now, your abdomen will make a noise not unlike a '58 Panhead with straight pipes and a poorly adjusted carburetor. Do not allow this to startle you, it's perfectly natural. This will soon be accompanied with a feeling of pressure in the lower abdomen.

5) NOTE: during this part of the process, you may feel the urge to sneak a little fart while no one is looking. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT DO THIS!!!! That little fart you think you feel is a cruel foreshadowing of what's to come. Remember that little dutch boy with the finger in the dyke (a dyke is a levee or dam, you perverts)? That's a little Dutch fart you have in there.

6) You want to get to that bathroom now. Don't wait until you really have to go, because that will be too late. Some fat lady will walk in there carrying 3 tabloid magazines right when you need it. Like a good concert, you want to get there a bit early.

7) Now that you're alone in the bathroom, you'll be tempted to fart again. See previous warning in step 5. Get yourself positioned, have a seat, and only then, you can go ahead and relax the o-ring.

8) There are several things that will happen in immediate succession at this point.

9) First, what you thought would be a sneaky little toot will resonate through the entire facility like the mating call of a humpback whale. Your schincter will flagellate like the face of that guy on the rocket sled. That little dude with the leiderhosen and the Ricola horn has nothing on you. As a guy, in the back of your mind, you'll be impressed with yourself and wish your friend or wife could have heard that epic tone, feedback and sustain.

10) Second, well....have you ever seen what happens when a car hits a fire hydrant? Or maybe pictured what the BP oil spill must look like underwater at the leak? Turn both of those images upside down and you'll have the general idea.

11) You will be intensely curious to look in the bowl at this point. Do so at your own risk. You may see things that cannot be unseen in there. An Abbazabba you ate in 1972. Some corn although you haven't eaten corn since the Nixon years. That Frito Bandito pencil eraser your older sister blamed you for stealing when you were four years old.

11) Despite drinking a gallon of that stuff, you'll be thirsty from dehydration at this point. That's why you have the second gallon.

12) All of us that enjoy the occasional cocktail know the concept of "breaking the seal". Well, you broke the seal. You should expect 5-10 minute intervals from this point forward. Make sure you pace yourself with the wiping, or you'll end up abrading yourself like a short-bus kid on his first skateboard.

13) You'll notice an amazing thing. Towards the end of this process, you'll be ass-pissing as clear as a rain forest waterfall in Kauai. Your insides will be cleaner than a freshly bathed infant. You'll be 10 lbs lighter.

14) Oh yeah, the colonoscopy. Boring, you'll be knocked out and won't remember anything. Suffice it to say that they jam a camera up there and look around. Remember this when you think your job sucks.

15) BUT (heh), you should know that they will inflate you like the tires on Hunter S. Thompson's Cadillac.

16) I only mention this because as you are coming out of the anesthesia, you'll be laying on your side, your butt exposed to a roomful of people milling about, and weaving a tapestry of fart noises throughout the room as all that air comes back out of you. Don't be embarrassed, they're used to it.

17) Don't forget to ask them to burn a disc of the colonoscopy for you. Using the free Windows Movie Maker, you can set a soundtrack to it. I used "Echoes" from Pink Floyd's Meddle album, it seemed appropriate.

[syncroid]

Originally Posted by AirKuhl

I had it done a while back. Here are my comments and suggestions.

OMG! I am laughing so hard that my eyes are watering! Priceless

[Hugh R]

Now THAT is some funny schit!!

[A930Rocket]

Hence my asking for the "thriller dose and not the killer dose..."

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

Isn't propofol what killed Michael Jackson?

[A930Rocket]

So what was going on? There was a guy hooked up to 1.5 gals of the stuff? What's the point of taking it, besides going to sleep?

Originally Posted by pavulon

...a couple years ago we had a gal last 1.5 days here before being found in the admin. bathroom laying on the floor hooked up to a syringe full of it...

[URY914]

More advice: Start cutting back on your food intake about three days before the procedure. Less food in you means less crap coming out of you and you have an easier go with the prep.

Now with that being said.......

You guys that have a family history of colon cancer that are waiting until you are 50 y.o. before your test are LETTING A TICKING CANCER BOMB GROW INSIDE YOU. YOU ARE STUPID AND ONE OF YOU WILL DIE BECAUSE OF IT. My story.....

I was thirty three (33) and went to get a physical at my doctor. My first real physical. I had recently gotten married and we wanted to start a family so my wife said it was a good time. Our insurance covered it so why not. So during the exam the young Doc asked if I had any family history of problems of any kind. I told him my dad had colon cancer and so had an uncle and aunt. He said it's never to early to get a stool sample and check for blood. He gives me a little kit to take home and I'm to bring it back in a day or so. It's easy and simple, no problem. I take it in and the office calls back and the Doc wants me to do it again to double check because they found something the first time. I do it again and once again they find blood. He tells me to get a colonoscopy. I do and they find a very small tumor just beginning to develop. I have it removed and all is good. If I had not had that physical and that young Doc had not asked about my family history I would not have made it to my 50th birthday or even my 40th. I have told my story to several Doctors over the years and they have all agreed that that Doc saved my life. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE 50 IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY HISTORY OF COLON CANCER. I have had about 10 colonoscopies since my colon re-section in 1994. Being on the toilet for a day is a small price to pay for a normal life.

Paul

[pavulon]

Originally Posted by A930Rocket

So what was going on? There was a guy hooked up to 1.5 gals of the stuff? What's the point of taking it, besides going to sleep?

Simply put, she was/is a junky w/ a history of propofol abuse, went through rehab, re-entered after an extended time, relapsed almost immediately but wasn't caught until coming to a small place with limited numbers of places to hide while injecting. She used an IV she had started in her own ankle (undetectable under scrubs). She had a pile of empty vials on her as well as a pile of full vials. The discovery shook everyone up pretty well.

Propofol isn't detected by routine urine drug tests (which she was taking...don't ask me why she was only on routine tests) and lasts a relatively limited time (she was using on day one and tried to resume patient care after her "lunch" break). Supposedly, it provides a euphoric feeling and allows the user to escape reality for a time. She has flushed a nice living...twice.

Sadly, I could go on and on about the freak shows I've seen in folks that have worked here...it's almost unbelievable. Anyone who thinks all who work in healthcare have it all together is better off not knowing the truth.

[A930Rocket]

Gotcha. My wife has been an ICU RN/ICU Director/House Supervisor/Etc. for over 30 years. She's seen it all. Had to fire and call out many people over the years. She doesn't take it lightly when it comes to patient care.

Originally Posted by pavulon

Simply put, she was/is a junky w/ a history of propofol abuse, went through rehab, re-entered after an extended time, relapsed almost immediately but wasn't caught until coming to a small place with limited numbers of places to hide while injecting. She used an IV she had started in her own ankle (undetectable under scrubs). She had a pile of empty vials on her as well as a pile of full vials. The discovery shook everyone up pretty well.

Propofol isn't detected by routine urine drug tests (which she was taking...don't ask me why she was only on routine tests) and lasts a relatively limited time (she was using on day one and tried to resume patient care after her "lunch" break). Supposedly, it provides a euphoric feeling and allows the user to escape reality for a time. She has flushed a nice living...twice.

Sadly, I could go on and on about the freak shows I've seen in folks that have worked here...it's almost unbelievable. Anyone who thinks all who work in healthcare have it all together is better off not knowing the truth.

[Jagshund]

Let the cancer take me; I am not going through any of this. Divide my possessions amongst yourselves.

[MBAtarga]

Originally Posted by 1968Cayman

Let the cancer take me; I am not going through any of this. Divide my possessions amongst yourselves.

Can you PM your address? I'm not too far away and want to make first claims!