Told the GF I loved her, she didn't say it back

[rusnak]

I would say just enjoy her company. Curious that she agreed to be exclusive. I would not get too emotionally invested.

[imcarthur]

If she hasn't been 'out' at least two years, she ain't ready. Read Grogar's post again.

Ian

[HardDrive]

There is no reason not to take her at face value. Enjoy your time together, and don't give her another thing to worry about. Be her friend......her friend that has sex with her on a regular basis. She'll let you know when she wants to be lovers.

[porsche4life]

I would kill to have a relationship like you have right now, nothing super serious.... Too many girls here are either psycho, and want marriage now, or want to screw everything that walks...

You've got a good thing, don't push your luck, enjoy it!

[slodave]

At least you didn't wait until it was too late....

I was in a similar situation. Good luck! Not much to add. Looks like all the good things have already been said.

[svandamme]

this exclusive but then turning down the heat , hell, that's the BS Plan B tactic.
She locked you down, puts down a very small deposit, something she doesn't mind loosing, now while she keeps her own options open.

Realitically , you'll be in the doghouse no matter what.
Anything you now do >> need space > smothering me > just wanna be friends
She can string you along for a while, have a free baby sitter, mow the lawn , do some chores, ...


The Ladder Theory

Check yer position

And find out, was her first hubby bi-polar before he was married to her?

[PorscheGAL]

I think if you really like this woman, be patient. She has been through an emotional roller coaster. She may feel the same way but is cautious after the last one. Don't play games. When she is ready to tell you the same, she will and you should repeated it.

By the way, no one becomes Bipolar because of anyone else. Being married to someone who was bipolar, along with his other issues and then being able to get out and have another relationship shows how strong she is.

[Targa Me]

Dude, slow way down. She's going through a messy divorce....you can't expect her to say "I love you" with all the crap she must be going through.
Down grade the V-day to a simple card.
Give her time, lots of time.
And until then enjoy the companionship.
Now that i think about this.... you might keep a guard on your heart....you may be the "rebound guy".

[wdfifteen]

Four months? Give another 8 months. Life is too long to rush something like this and too short to have to live with a mistake.

[Rikao4]

think perhaps your in love with the 'relationship'..
don't confuse compatibility with love..
you left a mess behind..
now you have something that was missing in the first one..

slow down..your both rebounding..
you had Bambi all to yourself in the woods..
and you just had to bring out the flashlight..


Rika

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by TechnoViking

....But...I can't help but think this isn't going to end well for me.

Anyone been in this situation?

.

Yes. You really don't need any of the excellent observations offered here do you as you seem to have a pretty good handle on things from your initial post? No harm in enjoying it "for what it is" in the meantime. I thought "love" (after several years of exclusive commitment) could overcome "baggage"...I was dead wrong, but we had seven pretty damn good years first . Good luck!

[sc_rufctr]

Why do anything?

Just keep dating and hang loose... Don't over think it.

Who knows how things will work out? Life's like that sometimes.

She really is just out of a long term relationship and she's still working out her feelings. She may still have some left for her ex but has obviously made a decision to leave.
In general women are like that. They can make a choice and move on... Even if they have feelings for that person.

I believe you have to make you're own luck in this world.
So date, have fun and enjoy. After all how long have we got?

[KFC911]

Originally Posted by lisa_spyder

Will I do?

You spoke with your heart...nothing to be ashamed of .

.....

YouTube - Teleflora - Help Me Faith

I just had to post this link again

[Moses]

Love is not rational. She's not going to "decide" to love you after the divorce is final.

I don't know much, but I know women. They are inexplicably attracted to indifference and they can smell desperation like a shark smells blood in the water.

You love her? Don't mention it again. Don't even hint at it. And make yourself a little less available. Take a little longer to answer her texts. Plan a night out with your man friends. But when you're together. be sweet and attentive. Catnip. It's almost not fair.

[vash]

Originally Posted by Moses

Love is not rational. She's not going to "decide" to love you after the divorce is final.

I don't know much, but I know women. They are inexplicably attracted to indifference and they can smell desperation like a shark smells blood in the water.

You love her? Don't mention it again. Don't even hint at it. And make yourself a little less available. Take a little longer to answer her texts. Plan a night out with your man friends. But when you're together. be sweet and attentive. Catnip. It's almost not fair.

ssooooo true. my uncle told me, "nothing sexy about desperate."

dont be too available. she needs something, uh..maybe next time, you have plans.

[azasadny]

Some good advice here!

[Bobbi66]

Love. Several kinds and many phases. I met my current SO while ending a 10 yr marriage. For me, I had been living loveless for several years before deciding to call it a day. We were basically roommates with a very minimal physical element to it. Thank goodness no children involved and we parted amicably. I was ready to find love again when I met my SO so quickly.

Now here comes the tricky part. Love or lust or BOTH. The chemicals released when "falling for someone" are as strong and addictive as any drug! Hell, its better than any antidepressant out there. Go slow. Enjoy the time of getting to know each other and develop a true emotional intimacy together. Real intimacy is more than sex, its an expression, but its not intimacy. Real intimacy takes TIME. It makes us feel like we've been found, someone FINALLY took the time to look inside us and really sees us. They see all we've been through and learn what our emotional wounds are and how to help heal them and not re-open them or rub them. They learn to keep a safe distance from those parts of you.

So my advice is to enjoy this time of being committed and getting to know who each other really is. Laugh together, cry together, even learn you can disagree and still love each other. Allow time to show you who she really is and if she accepts you for who you are.

Love is choice, through the good, the bad and sometimes even the ugly. If then you still choice to love, it will last...

[GDNF2ET]

Try not to worry about it..Don't act any differently towards her..Don't be needy..Give her the space she needs to deal with whats happening in her life..
The only time that the timing is right is when your partner says it 1st, then if you feel the same way, say it back...
Or, do like Jack Nicholsons character in Terms of Endearment when told by Shirley that she loved him..
"Well, I don't know what else to say except my stock answer"

" I love you, too, kid."

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by PorscheGAL

I think if you really like this woman, be patient. She has been through an emotional roller coaster. She may feel the same way but is cautious after the last one. Don't play games. When she is ready to tell you the same, she will and you should repeated it.

By the way, no one becomes Bipolar because of anyone else. Being married to someone who was bipolar, along with his other issues and then being able to get out and have another relationship shows how strong she is.

This^^^^

[Superman]

Give her time......and space. Fail to do that, and you're crapping in the nest.