Fixed it for you?

[Z-man]

Originally Posted by stuartj

Im not being sarcastic. I agree with the OP completely. Haven’t you just made the OP's point, or am I missing something completely, as usual.

Thanks for setting such a fine example. Green text seems unnecessary when you have a perfectly good language at your disposal.

Fixed it for you, stuartj.

Apologies - but I really couldn't resist!

But in this case, it was not meant to change what you wrote, but fix the grammatical error.

-Z

[Joe Bob]

I've been fixed since my wife's third child but only dealing with a second pregnancy.....so I can't be fixed again unless there is an immaculate conception. But then again anything is possible based on this farged up economy.....

Sammy owes me fitty sense!!!!!!

[stuartj]

Originally Posted by Z-man

Fixed it for you, stuartj.

Apologies - but I really couldn't resist!

But in this case, it was not meant to change what you wrote, but fix the grammatical error.

-Z

Not so much grammar error as early onset Alzheimers.

[WolfeMacleod]

Originally Posted by Joe Bob

I've been fixed since my wife's third child but only dealing with a second pregnancy.....so I can't be fixed again unless there is an immaculate conception. But then again anything is possible based on this farged up economy.....

Sammy owes me fitty sense!!!!!!

You mean...she fixed it for her??

[wdfifteen]

Just to recap, this is WRONG:

Originally Posted by Z-man

But in this case, it was not meant to change what you wrote, but TO fix the grammatical error.

-Z

Fixed it for you.

-----------------

This is BETTER:

Originally Posted by Z-man

But in this case, it was not meant to change what you wrote, but fix the grammatical error.

-Z

But in this case, it was not meant to change what you wrote, but TO fix the grammatical error.
Fixed it for you.

The difference is you're not attaching the poster's name to something he didn't say.

[john70t]

Originally Posted by Z-man

Fixed it for you, stuartj.

Apologies - but I really couldn't resist!

But in this case, (1)my correction was not meant to change what you (2)had written, but (3)rather it was to fix the grammatical error.

-Z

(gettin serious. The rules of english sux.)
1). "It" might have refered to what Z had typed, or what stuartj had originally written(?).

2). "Wrote" is just slang for the more proper "had written".

3). Shouldn't the verb usage be consistant before and after the comma for continuity?

[Z-man]

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by john70t

(gettin serious. The rules of english sux.)
1). "It" might have refered to what Z had typed, or what stuartj had originally written(?).

2). "Wrote" is just slang for the more proper "had written".

"Wrote" is the past tense of "write," it's not slang. "Had written" is the past perfect tense and it is used only to clear up confusion over which of two events occured first. It is not necessary in Z's sentence because you can't correct something until after it has happened.

"I went to the race. They wrote about them on the message board." This needs the past perfect because you don't know which happened first. "I went to the race. They had written about them on the message board," is clearer.
"I went to the race because they wrote about them on the message board," doesn't need the past perfect "had written" because the sentence makes it clear which happened first.

[john70t]

Thanks for fixing that for me.
Obviously, very little of my educational lineage managed to stuck to the grey surfaces.


I'm going to petition the english-language tzars, and force them establish some consistent rules.
From now on:
1). All verbs will contain the same base in past/future conjugation, like some of the European languages.
-No more "was", "am/are", "will be".
-This...will..or is that would....become "beed", "be", "being", and used with all verbs in a consistant methodology.

2). Added to this verb conjugation will be the addition of a letter/other which signifies an indefinite state. For example "I making a billion dollars next year" would be changed to "I makinger a billion dollars next year".

3). Plurals of such verbs would not be affected by the plurality of nouns. Their rules of conjugation would stay consistent.

4). The plurality of nouns would replace the silent "s" with another sound....something distinctive enough to be heard over scratchy radios and records. (Can't think of an acceptable example at the moment.)

5). Get rid of the letter "S" and use "C", even for plurality.
They are the same, except when the addition of the letter "H" turns the sound "sssssss" into "tch".
The letter "c" is easier to write.

6). Same with the silent "X", which is usually pronounced "Z". It's a useless letter.

7). "___ety" "___ity", "___aty", "___etey" "___itey", "___atey" would be reduced to one form.

8). Add letters as necessary to accomidate sounds not found in western languages, such as "clicks" of African languages and "zur"s of Oriental.


Reduce the English language down to it's most basic phonetic forms, make it easy to learn, and......ummm wright.....in written form, and it will continue to serve as The World's dominant common language.

[DanielDudley]

Better check your welds...

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by john70t

Thanks for fixing that for me.
Obviously, very little of my educational lineage managed to stuck to the grey surfaces.


I'm going to petition the english-language tzars, and force them establish some consistent rules.
From now on:
1). All verbs will contain the same base in past/future conjugation, like some of the European languages.
-No more "was", "am/are", "will be".
-This...will..or is that would....become "beed", "be", "being", and used with all verbs in a consistant methodology.

2). Added to this verb conjugation will be the addition of a letter/other which signifies an indefinite state. For example "I making a billion dollars next year" would be changed to "I makinger a billion dollars next year".

3). Plurals of such verbs would not be affected by the plurality of nouns. Their rules of conjugation would stay consistent.

4). The plurality of nouns would replace the silent "s" with another sound....something distinctive enough to be heard over scratchy radios and records. (Can't think of an acceptable example at the moment.)

5). Get rid of the letter "S" and use "C", even for plurality.
They are the same, except when the addition of the letter "H" turns the sound "sssssss" into "tch".
The letter "c" is easier to write.

6). Same with the silent "X", which is usually pronounced "Z". It's a useless letter.

7). "___ety" "___ity", "___aty", "___etey" "___itey", "___atey" would be reduced to one form.

8). Add letters as necessary to accomidate sounds not found in western languages, such as "clicks" of African languages and "zur"s of Oriental.


Reduce the English language down to it's most basic phonetic forms, make it easy to learn, and......ummm wright.....in written form, and it will continue to serve as The World's dominant common language.

Here, fix everything:





You think English is easy??? Read to the end ... a new twist

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row ...

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on..

English was invented by people not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP'

It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UPexcuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP ! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP < /SPAN>almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP ,you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP < /SPAN> ...

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so........it is time to shut UP !

Oh . . . one more thing:


What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?
U-P

The above sounds a lot like George Carlin, but I don't know the source other than an email circulating.