buddy calls me, he asks, "why do strippers have to wear glitter?"
 

hahah..he just called. he is in the doghouse bigtime. boy's night out ended funny.

he came home late. drunk, perfumed, and covered in glitter. i know his wife, and she is adorable and smart. he said glitter was everywhere..in bed, in his clothing..hahaha. apparently he hung out with some "talent" wearing some glittered lotion.

busted. he did a father's day hall-pass thing to play poker with the guys. i never asked if he actually played cards.

even coming home, and taking a shower is a tip off to a smart wife.
\
any great stories?

I had to stop and get gas on the way home and made sure I got gas on my hand to kill the perfume smell.

The smart one's don't.

I had a buddy who found a nice single earring in a parking lot while he was traveling and put it in his jacket pocket. Wife found it when he got home and the jacket was going to the cleaners, damn near cost him his marriage, she was really pissed and wouldn't believe his story.

I don't think she believes him to this day.

Do they still wear glitter? I thought this was an outdated notion. (I've personally never been, but I've heard first hand accounts from strippers themselves)

You've never been to a titty bar??? That's what you tell your wife, come on, you can be honest with us boys!

Lotion? I thought they got the glitter on themselves from ridding the unicorns?

To make the fools think that they are getting Gold...

I honestly don't get the attraction to strip clubs. I played some gigs at a place in San Diego back in the day that was strip club by day and had rock acts at night. Also went to one for a buddy's bachelor party (as the designated driver I got strapped in the chair for some "special attention"). I find them depressing...

Strip Clubs: all dressed up with no place to go
Hookers: why mess with green bologna when I have Filet Mignon at home?

Without the glitter, they are only covered in shame.

What, you don't like the idea of paying to be teased by pathetic 'actresses' while being surrounded by pathetic dudes lined up for a glitter getaway? --I'm shocked.

i love a great strip joint. but i dont go. havent been for 15 years..

waste of wood in my opinion. but that damn fantasy when you step thru the door is fantastic. my buddy, i cant even tell him when i come to town anymore. he loves using me as an excuse to get away from his wife for some stripper. in my home town, the places are extra seedy. crazy! the women are stunning, but i dont go anymore.. i guess i dont like them, but i see the attraction.

it must be a billion dollar industry..they are everywhere.

Hanging out at a strip club is like cooking a steak you can't eat.

I had some great times in a stripclub already, bachelor parties mostly. Fun, booze, friends and hot chicks, what's not to like?

I,m with you Nostatic. I always felt like a desperate looser when in a strip bar, I had much more fun going after the real thing.
My buddy used to always say that he had a bad case of McDonald's dick. After hearing this several times, and regretfully asking him what it was about, he said that he would stop at the local McDonald's , and wash his junk in the sink after a tryst with another woman, so that his lady would not smell it on him when he got home. Nasty

Many many years ago, I hired a stripper to do a house call to my house. I was giving a buddy a going away party to the Navy. The party was wild, the stripper was nasty and my buddy was ready for anything. The stripper sits him down on a dining room chair, backs up, takes off her clothes and does a running start to jump on him. Nasty girl didn't even try to make a soft landing on his jock and with their weight, breaks the chair. Man, I was in the doghouse for days.

It's been over 20 years since I've been to one.

2 things I can say about this............................................

1) Nothing like paying TOP dollar for sexual frustration

2) Only difference between a stripper and pirate is the eye-patch and boat, both will steal from you

Aw man... all these years I have been hitting the DIY powerwash on my way home... think of the money I could have saved!

True burlesque stripping is/was an art form.

Today's "titty bars" have no class.

Of course, to each his own.

I'd been twice when I was younger at the request of other folks (bachelor's party and friends from out of town visiting).

I bartended in topless bars for almost 5 years. Working in them is very different than visiting. Yes, I found it very depressing. The perks of seeing boobs all the time only just kept it from being a crappy job.
There are of course, 3 sides to the entertainment. On stage, at your table, and then something more private whether that be the "champagne room" or a hotel room or the parking lot.

I have seen some girls who put on really amazing shows on stage both with and without a pole. I can understand watching the girls on stage when they really work at it and it's about entertaining and showmanship with a little sex mixed in. Some are really horrible on stage (some just don't try, and some try but are really bad).

I won't even get into the off stage antics private or not.

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Actress? I thought they were all working their way through college?;)

Strippers and glitter? Yeah, I have a story . . .

Years back in Vegas. The guys from a Brit company asked me out for a drink. I should have known better because they go out to strip bars almost every night. The owner lives in Monaco - which tells you his lifestyle and he had a buddy with him who also lived there.

We arrived at one of the big clubs and were immediately taken to the vip area. A $300 bottle of gin was ordered. The best girls in the house attacked our group. One was encouraged to sit in my lap . . .

I asked her name and even though I knew it was fake, it was my wife's uncommon first name. Bang. A bolt of guilt lightening struck me. I left as fast as I could and it took an hour to clean my jacket the next morning . . .

Never again.

Ian

Did your wife have a good excuse for working the strip club that night?

:D

You know Todd, what happens in Vegas . . .

Ian

I was thinking of Dr no and the ubiquitous Santa Monica 'actresses' around there. ...all of the rest are working to become 'nurses.' ...they already bought the uniform. ;)

semi-related...

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Randy

That was funny, Randy!

Easier to see the slug trail?

Talking of which... I once had to pour a beer over my pants after a wild night out. Better to smell like beer than pussy. SmileWavy

Not if it's this stuff!
http://www.sarwark.org/writings/uplo...opb-713143.jpg

Man, I wish I hadn't read that McDonald's part...Jerk!

Nope, never been. Only way I would go is if a really hot chick I know wants to go...That should be an interesting night.

And in regards to the Youtube vids, there are some ridiculous pole dancers out there. I saw one on CBS' Sunday Morning where a girl was walking upside down while on the pole.

I went to a strip club for the first time in Vegas over memorial day weekend. The next time I hit a strip club will be the next time I am in Vegas. Not really my scene, but definitely fun every once and awhile.

It took me 3 showers to get all the glitter off.

Watch out for that lightening striking, Todd and I agree again. Strip joints are a waste of time and money, and are designed to seperate fools from their money.

I got dragged to one of those places a few times when I was in my twenties.
At one of em a buddy of mine kept borrowing 20's from me, over and over.
I finally cut him off after realizing he was just giving it to the of the dancers.

He was pissed at me on the way home, know what he said?
" if I just had ONE MORE DOLLAR she would have gone home with me."

How pathetic is that.

Well put.


Do you notice that they all wear the same perfume?

My buddies and I went to one in Bullhead City once....... Pretty pitifull... lots of tweekers ..strech marks and tats. One guy just had to get home for his girlfriends birthday, so we droped him off at a renal car place in Havasu and he drove straight to Ventura... He comes in and his girlfriend says..."Why do you have all of that glitter all over you?" He about sh-ts and says...."I was making a birthday card for you and left it in Havasu.." Now that is fast thinking....

Forty years ago I dated a girl that danced at a place called the "Body Shop" in Pointy Loma, San Diego. I lived in a place called Ocean Beach at the time, and she lived in the next block. I saw her going to the beach on afternoon while I was hanging out of my second floor window looking at what was headed that way and decided I wanted to investigate. She was slightly over 6 ft. tall and had long, blond hair that went down to her butt (nice butt too). Anyway we got hooked up fort a while. It was a while because I could see I didn't want her problems in my life right away. She got fired twice for snorting up at work, and always had the hard core Hell's Angels types chasing after her. She was only an average lay too. There were hundreds of other girls around that were better. My buddies at the time thought it was cool and couldn't understand why I dumped her.

I think the glitter is to hide the bruises.

Sad but true. I have a very close personal friend who (stupidly) got involved with a stripper for a couple of years before finally coming to his senses and realizing that she was a manipulative basket case and he could do better. Thank God he realized this before she ended up pregnant or something.

Another friend of mine (big dude, looks tough and all that even if he's a Teddy bear inside) worked as a bouncer at a couple of clubs for a while so had the strippers confiding in him and trying to rope him into their problems (maybe they saw him as security and stability or the father figures they never had, dunno...). He had the presence of mind to be a trusted protector on the clock and nothing more (no psychotherapy after quittin' time, etc).

Bottom line is that 10 out of 10 strippers are emotional basket cases and have serious issues - usually abuse (past or present or both), so my above comment is semi-serious.

o'phile - not all strippers are basket cases... Have you met every one?