Getting Rid of a Roommate, is this a good way?

[Brando]

My life is becoming a comedic drama.

The woman and I have been living with someone we've considered personable for almost 7 months now. She came with us from my last residence because she was (at the time) very easy to live with and personable. Fast forward to today... We're not so sure anymore. She has become very reclusive, rude and downright unfriendly. The woman and I are thinking it's time for someone to go. We do our best to be considerate and conscious of her but it seems that is not reciprocated. Slamming doors, leaving lights on and running fans all day and night (when she is not in the room), being loud, etc. About the one thing she does do is put her dishes away and not make a mess in the kitchen (one +). So here's what I'm thinking we'll do:

Tonight we are going to evaluate our finances and see how well we can afford the apartment on our own. I did a prelim income/expense estimate and we're a few grand in the clear - but I want to make absolutely sure. If that works out, then next week we move on to step 2: We have 2 (of three) options that we can present on the table.

1) She will have until Oct 31st to find a new place and move out. We offer her (up front) 1/3 of the deposit, 1/3 of the renters' insurance payment up front so that she may look for a new place. IF she moves out before then, we will give her back a pro-rated amount of her rent. No breakage of the lease so we will get our full deposit etc when we move out.

2) We will move out by Oct 31st. She will refund us our share of the deposit (2/3) and our share of the renters' insurance payment up front. No breakage of the lease so she will get the full deposit back when she moves out

And the (dreaded) option:
3) We move out, break the lease. She gets nothing, we get nothing and we all split the penalty (one month's rent).

I want to provide a good option and I think the payout up-front is a good incentive to get her to move. We can make due on our own and we want as little drama as possible. Is that too generous? And no, we don't have cause for an eviction, so I cannot pursue that option. Unless there's something I missed?

[speeder]

I wish you luck. Roommates are god's way of telling you that you're broke.

[craigster59]

It's a lot easier to move them in than move them out...good luck!

[Jim Bremner]

Fire? it always works!

[Joeaksa]

How about just sitting all three of you down and asking what is going on? Might get it figured out a lot easier and save a friend...

[scottmandue]

Get her a boyfriend... sorry I'm taken

[Brando]

Originally Posted by Joeaksa

How about just sitting all three of you down and asking what is going on? Might get it figured out a lot easier and save a friend...

She's not really our friend, more of a good acquaintance (past tense). At this point she's not really approachable.

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Get her a boyfriend... sorry I'm taken

Haha, scotty. Actually she is married. She's here for a doctoral program and her husband lives in PA with a casino company. Her getting a regular dosage of guy-time were the problem we wouldn't be at this point as they see each-other a few times a month (flying back and forth).

[nostatic]

Who is named on the lease? All 3 of you?

[Brando]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Who is named on the lease? All 3 of you?

Yes. They advised us however that if one party wanted to move out and the other stay, the lease could be revised without penalty, with the remaining party taking the full cost.

[Racerbvd]

[crustychief]

Didn't you go through this last year? Is this one on the drugs?
I found the thread.
How to deal with a potentially mentally unstable renter?

[dipso]

You just got engaged right? Tell her you and your fiance are going to start looking for your own place.
Then she will start looking for her own.
Drag your feet and she will find a place before you do.
Then stay after she is gone.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by crustychief

Didn't you go through this last year? Is this one on the drugs?
I found the thread.
How to deal with a potentially mentally unstable renter?

maybe that was his fiancée

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by Joeaksa

How about just sitting all three of you down and asking what is going on? Might get it figured out a lot easier and save a friend...

LOL that's what I was thinking.

A guy I work with has a saying: "we're all growed up, this is as smart as we're gonna get. If we can't talk about stuff we're screwed."

It's blue-collar and unsophisticated but as deep as anything Shakespeare ever wrote.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by crustychief

Didn't you go through this last year? Is this one on the drugs?
I found the thread.
How to deal with a potentially mentally unstable renter?

Thought the same thing, sounded familiar.

[Superman]

I'm with Sammy on this. Everyone crack a beer, sit around a table and lay the cards down. Communication is so.......NOT overrated.

[Brando]

Originally Posted by crustychief

Didn't you go through this last year? Is this one on the drugs?
I found the thread.
How to deal with a potentially mentally unstable renter?

NICE! I had thought that little gem got lost. No, this is a different person. Mentally stable, just a not-nice person that is stressful to deal with.

Dipso, I actually like that idea a bit. I dunno how it would go, dragging it out and for how long. We're looking to get semi-good results within 1 month. There is merit in what you're saying, too. We do want a place by/for ourselves. Can't really afford a house and we don't know if we're going to stay in CA permanently - otherwise we'd be looking to buy.

[Joe Bob]

Three's company.....sounds like a good sitcom treatment.

Good Luck.....

I nominate Sammy as Mr. Furley....

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Have you considered that it might be the stress of her program and the inherent suckiness of her own situation? Long distance relationships blow - especially when you're forced to deal with a "happy couple" all the time in close proximity to rub it in - being happy for you guys would get tiresome after a while (I was in a similar situation years ago). Grad school is pretty tough too (ask me how I know - lots of stress, expense and little sleep). So does getting a PhD (with all the associated cost/effort) only to worry if there will be any jobs available at the end of it to repay all those expensive loans...

I'm not justifying her actions but that whole adage about walking a mile in one's shoes... Maybe ask if there's anything you can do to help? You might ge more mileage out of offering a helping hand...

Sorry to hear of your plight and I hope it works out for all of you and you all end up walking away happy.

I learned long ago that life is way too short for roommate drama - once you're onto the next phase of your life you won't ever have to worry about it again (but don't think it's problem-free either!)

Good luck.

[M.D. Holloway]

Sounds like she is super stressed - Doc programs can do that. Scape the beer and make some tequila drinks, that should open her up some! Heck, who knows you may end up having to buy new sheets!