Tell me I am wrong...

[Z-man]

Originally Posted by asphaltgambler

My mother developed alzheimers in her early 80's -Dad who was two years older had to deal with her and refused any help. Was true to her completely to her death, although the last year and a half she didn't recognize him and would throw tantrums (and other things) saying "this man" was holding her hostage - which to that end she even would call the police.

All the while all the local blue hair single 'church going' women and even one in her late 50's wanted some of him by trying to stake a claim. Towards my mom's life ending, his driveway looked like grand central station. To my knowledge, he was with and true to her to the awful end and it was many months after before he would start to 'entertain' company

What a man.

Agape love is a love that requires nothing in return. It always gives, never expecting anything from the other person. It is the highest form of love. It puts your own personal feelings, wants, and needs aside and focuses all of your energy, your emotions upon the other person.

Your dad understood what agape love is.

-Z

[LeeH]

Originally Posted by svandamme

I know that in some situations families will, and in fact have accepted the facts for what they are, and even told the remaining partner that they are ok with it if he goes on with his life. If the situation is really that the partner is a plant, and is not going to recover, and the remaining partner did and still does everything humanly possible to take care of the other one...

Hell, i would not like the idea myself, that if i had somebody i loved.. and i turned into a cabbage head.. That the person i love, would be lonely for another 30-40 years.
I feel it would be selfish on my behalf to expect that of anybody.

Ideally i'de like em to pull the plug or actively euthanize me first, cause i hate the part of me laying there like a bag of bones for that time..
And the risk that some part of me remains.. well that's no risk.. if my mind is trapped in a shell.. i'de rather have em pull the plug then be trapped for decades..

Either way, it's not all black and white.. In certain situations it can be reasonable to move on. People cannot stay alone and in a state of perpetual grieving for decades.

I've had this exact conversation with my wife. If something happens and I'm not going to recover, unplug me and get on with things. Life's too short to spend it thinking about the past.

My mom died suddenly when I was 20. Can't remember the time frame, but it wasn't long before my dad met the woman who would later become my step mom. I was hurt at first, but it quickly became apparent that this lady truly cared for him. My dad seemed happier during the last 10 years of his life than any other time I can remember.

[pwd72s]

For better or worse, in sickness and in health...