Sharing wealth within a family

[LeeH]

We all know about "family" money. Seems like some families have so much wealth that just being born to that family guarantees enough of an allowance for some to live comfortably for their entire lives.

I'm wondering at what point to families begin to share wealth. If you had multi-millions, would you share with your parents? Siblings? Would they at least be in your will?

I know of a wealthy individual who, while discussing estate planning with his sister, was very clear about his position, stating, "Well, if anything ever happens to me don't expect to get any of my money." The guy has a couple of adult sons and a stepdaughter, but I found it odd that he wouldn't leave his sister anything from a very substantial estate. They're on great terms with each other - never a problem between them.

[URY914]

I'll never have this problem.

[Hugh R]

I've know 3 people who were trust fund babies. Each got an annual allowance of in the range of $100K. All 3 were not worth spit. Enough money to live on OK, in SoCal, but not enough to really go crazy. They had absolutely no motivation or ambition.

[pwd72s]

Seems to me it's their money to do with as they wish. Relationships are a funny thing..

[Moses]

I've helped my sister along the way. Thousands that will never be repaid. It's OK. I don't mind. But she's NOT in my trust.

I supported my mom for 15 years before she died. Happy to do it. Had I died before her, my trust would have continued her support.

When I die, my wife and kids get everything that's left. And I hope it's not a whole lot!

[pwd72s]

I prefer to help while I'm still alive. Recently helped a cousin going through a nasty divorce. All they had to share was debt. So, end game is that she now has a job paying a good salary & excellent bennies. Goal reached...she is now financially okay, and is learning how to manage money.

(edit) She never asked for the money...which is probably why I offered the help.

[Rick Lee]

If I had this problem, anyone I helped I'd do so anonymously through a trust and/or a lawyer. I don't ever want to get in the spot of someone thinking I should give them X because I gave someone else X. No one else's business. Anyone who got something from me might as well consider it manna from heaven because I'd never let anyone know who gave it to them.

[GH85Carrera]

I know a family who has a daughter married in to a VERY rich family. The type the rents a jet to fly back to the Hampton's from their house in Spain. The daughter bought her parents a nice new house and all custom furniture because it would be more comfortable when they come to visit.

I would have to say that family shares their wealth. I just wish I could be invited to vist when they spend a few weeks on the yacht at Martha's vineyard and cruise to the Mediterranean. I really want to be invited to the Monaco villa during the F1 race. I suspect my chance is rather low.

[Noah930]

Originally Posted by URY914

I'll never have this problem.

ditto

[Moses]

Originally Posted by pwd72s

I prefer to help while I'm still alive.

Absolutely!

I'm paying for my kids college tuition and when it's time, I hope to be able to help them with their first homes. I'm lucky that I have responsible kids who are doing good things. I love helping them.

[stomachmonkey]

My Grandfather in Germany was adamant about blowing every penny before he died. His philosophy was he wanted to be around to see people enjoy it.

My Grandmother was the exact opposite. She squeaked although in later years she did loosen up.

My mom, she'd give you her last penny.

My Uncle, my mom's brother was filthy stinking rich on his own. He was a prominent dentist that also owned dental labs. Once tried to charge his own mother for dentures till my grandfather "had a conversation" with him. Told both my cousins that he was responsible for them till they turned 18 and that he expected their bags to be packed and them gone. None of us know if my Uncle is still alive. He talked/talks to no one.

You get all kinds within a family.

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by Moses

Absolutely!

I'm paying for my kids college tuition and when it's time, I hope to be able to help them with their first homes. I'm lucky that I have responsible kids who are doing good things. I love helping them.

Bingo...prefer helping those willing to help themselves. This gives much greater pleasure than simply giving handouts. I worked...see nothing horribe about it & feel others should do the same. Becoming a productive citizen...yep, that's the thing.

[URY914]

My brother, sister and I always figured my mom would pass when her money ran out. We were almost right.

[vash]

Originally Posted by Hugh R

I've know 3 people who were trust fund babies. Each got an annual allowance of in the range of $100K. All 3 were not worth spit. Enough money to live on OK, in SoCal, but not enough to really go crazy. They had absolutely no motivation or ambition.

i know one kid. he is two stupid classes from getting a civil engineering degree. grandpa died, left him an apartment and some trust money. he stopped all forward progress.

now the apartment is dilapidated, his trust fund ran dry..and he is unemployed with no skills to change his situation. i told him to finish the schooling.

i wouldnt hire him under any circumstances. probably better that he doesnt finish school. i would hate to have to tell him "NO"

guy is addicted to porn and is always spanking it. TMI for my office.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Moses

I'm paying for my kids college tuition and when it's time, I hope to be able to help them with their first homes. I'm lucky that I have responsible kids who are doing good things. I love helping them.

Me as well.

I have planned my estate to run through my wife (her assets run through me) and then through the kids, equally.

My children will be fine, but not because of any money they may receive.

[Hugh R]

Paid for my kids college, at least most of it. I'll leave them what I have left when I die, but I'm certainly not on a mission to leave them as much as possible. Having said that the inheritance from my parents took the sting out of a few things in life, and I recently found out I'll be inheriting a nice little sum in a month or two from a distance relative that I really didn't know very well. I don't need it, and it will be stuck into some safe investment.

[daepp]

In a prior life I was an executive in a small commercial bank.

I sat on Loan Committee.

We had a saying/question: what's the first thing kids will do when they inherit free and clear income properties? Borrow against it!

Mind you - most of these properties were in the OC and threw off great monthly cash flow - but they always want the up front $$!

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Me as well.

I have planned my estate to run through my wife (her assets run through me) and then through the kids, equally.

My children will be fine, but not because of any money they may receive.

Realize that depending on how you have this structured, your kids may or may not get any assets. After the death of a spouse situations can change and things can get rewritten. Not that I know anything about that...

[romad]

Family and money on the average is probably OK, but I seen families degrade into animals for just a few thousand. You have to be very careful if you are the one passing it down.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Realize that depending on how you have this structured, your kids may or may not get any assets. After the death of a spouse situations can change and things can get rewritten. Not that I know anything about that...

Not that I know anything as well...We have a very good estate planner. The, "running through" part only meant she'll see to my will and I her's which take care of the kid's.

I've got stories.